Chapter 111 Move on
>>Mike Alma
Sitting on the bench on the open terrace is what I've found the most pleasant in my time here. After eating and taking a walk, I sit down on the bench and enjoy the breeze.
It was a cloudy afternoon and I was sitting in my usual spot staring across the glass screen when the nurse approached me.
"Mr, Alma, there is a guest here to meet you." She spoke politely and I looked at her in confusion.
A guest?
Who could it be this time?
"Who?" I asked and she stepped aside to point at the person behind her.
I turned my head and my eyes went wide for a second.
Then I smiled,
"Rachel," My wife was here, making her way towards me with a file in her hands.
"Hello Mike," She waved at me softly, with a soft look on her face.
The nurse bowed and went back while my wife walked over to me and sat down on the bench with me.
"How have you been?" I asked as she settled in.
"Can't say I've been great," She replied as she stared at the glass fence, "But I haven't been great for years now."
I wanted to start the conversation with light pleasantries but I guess she wants to get straight to the point.
"..." I looked away, "I see," My chest hurt, "Sorry," It was all understandable. I had given so much pain to so many people after all.
"Well, what's done is done, it can't be undone." Her voice was calm and I honestly wasn't expecting her to look this calm.
"...." I had no words to return to her.
"But," I glanced at her, "After we let Grace go and the illusion we were keeping finally shattered," She was looking into a distance, a cool breeze went past us, fluttering her hair, "And we may have become the laughing stock of the world too, but still," There was a subtle smile on her face, "I've started to feel better."
When I looked at her, my heart stung a little and I couldn't help but stare at her peaceful face.
She looked like she had been liberated from her chains.
"I see..." She must have felt so constricted all those years... She did do all that just for me. To keep me sane...
"I used to feel so ugly when we were all constricted in that fake reality." She let out a deep breath, "The house may be empty now but whenever I do go back there, I find a sense of freedom," Her smile faltered, "May it be lonely..."
"..." Her words hurt me a lot. Especially because I knew she lost so much because of me, "I can only offer words of apology," I kept my eyes on her, "I'm sorry," But she kept looking into a distance.
"I'm equally at fault." She let out a sarcastic chuckle, but it sounded more like a cry for help, "I chose to go along with it." She finally turned to look at me, "I couldn't accept Mael's death either, and looking at you made me think maybe I could do the same thing and live with it." She let her body slump back, "But it didn't happen, no one could take Mael's place for me, and looking at the girl impersonating my son only made me angry."
"It wasn't her fault."
"I know," She nodded, "That child was innocent and yet there were so many times I took my anger out on her." She shook her head with a distraught expression, "I felt like a monster, something so ugly, I hated looking at myself in the mirror." She paused, "She did not deserve what we gave her..." Her gaze dropped and I could see the regret in her eyes.
"That was all my fault," I said but she shook her head
"Like I said, what's done is done," She took a deep breath, "We can't keep dwelling on it for the rest of our pathetic lives." She raised her head to look at me, "It's time to move on."
!??
"Move on?" I was not expecting her to say that. I was thinking about what she came here to do, but it wasn't this.
But she nodded,
"I thought about it a lot." I couldn't help but let out a broken smile, "Mael died so many years ago," She looked beyond the fence again, "And you had found your mate, we should have ended things then and there."
Her words weren't harsh but they still dug deep into my feelings and I felt defeated and miserable.
"..." I looked down in shame, "I," I shook my head, "Am ashamed of myself." I couldn't meet her eyes, "I lost my mind..."
"...."
There were many unsaid words between us, but none of them were said out loud. We just understood things on our own.
All our flaws, all our mistakes, all our crimes, and all our pain.
"It's fine," She gulped, "I saw the girls the other day, they're young," She put the file she was holding on the bench, in the space between us, "Alive and healthy," Her words were softly spoken, "I think they should get their father." Without any hint of malice.
!!!
I looked at the file
'Divorce papers'
My eyes went wide and I looked at her, "What about you?"
And the moment I asked her that, her eyes welled up with tears, "It's because of me that you stayed," Her voice immediately broke down, "So much of what happened was my fault.:
"We married so young," I was twenty-four at that time, and I had just started working in my father's office after completing the training session.
She let out a chuckle, "Yeah, I was eighteen," She sniffled, "Fresh out of high school," She looked at the sky, trying to eat her tears away, "And I completed my degree with Mael in my arms."
Her words made me take a trip down the memory lane.
I remembered that, "Ah," I couldn't help but smile at the memory, "I took that photo of you with him at your graduation." It was a wonderful memory. Mael was born weak but on that day, he looked the healthiest he had ever been, smiling in his mother's arm, he held her degree in his tiny hands while she held him, both of them laughing at the happiness that soon came crashing down.
Both of our smiles were breaking.
"Yeah," Her voice cracked. The tears came out of her eyes but she wiped them away with her palms before they got to roll down her cheeks, "But he's gone now." She sniffled, "He's been gone for a while." She spoke the words so lightly, they sounded like whispers being carried by the wind.
"What are you going to do?" I asked, "Are you really sure about this?" I had no idea what to think, "We've been together for so long,"
"The property will be divided between us," She sniffled and looked at the papers, "You can decide if you want to keep the company or not."
"You can have it," I replied without hesitation.
"..." She paused, "I'll give you the sub-branch, you can change the name and take over."
"Are you sure you want me to have it?"
She let out a soft broken chuckle, "Mike," She glanced at me, "You weren't that bad of a person,"
!!!
Her words shook me to the core.
"Destiny was just," She paused for a second, "A little too cruel to us," She licked her lower lips slowly, "Otherwise, you were a pretty great husband,"
A smile stretched on my lips, "You were an amazing wife," I said as I found my grin rather broken but so was her smile.
"Yeah," She looked away, "But a terrible Mom,"
"Well," I looked away as well, "Considering what I did, I was far worse."
...
...
There wasn't much to exchange with her. It was like we simply ran out of words.
"Well," She stood up, "All the more reason to finally move on."
"Is this your final decision?" I asked once again.
She turned to me, "Mike," I raised my head to look at her as the wind blew past us. It was such a pleasant day yet filled with heart-wrenching conversations.
"Hm?"
"Go to your mate,"
!!!
"What?" I was baffled, "Where did that come from?"
"I've coveted you enough," She replied, "You have kids with that woman," I stood up in surprise, "Your girls need you too."
"Wait, are you really alright with this?" It's not that I've never thought about doing that. I have, several times. But I could never bring myself to admit it because I was the bad guy.
"...." She nodded, "I've thought about it a lot. For a pretty long time now as well."
"Rachel..."
"She's your destined mate." She gave me a lonely smile, "You should be with her."
"What about you?"
She turned to look at the distant sky, "You know, I've been thinking," Her voice remained soft throughout our conversation, "Maybe we lost Mael because we weren't really meant to be." Then she glanced at me, "Our story should come to an end now."
Her words stung a little but somewhere inside I knew it all along that we wouldn't last but I'm sure this all was harder for her. I saw her, right through her, and how hard she was trying to hold her tears in. Her nose had turned red in the attempt.
"Don't confine yourself in this place," She gave me a sarcastic yet pitiful smirk, "You think being here is your punishment right?" She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before she broke down.
"No," I replied, "You already know how I lost my m-"
"Don't even try lying," She shook her head, "I already talked with the doctors, and they told me you're fine. All you need to do is keep taking your meds and have a regular checkup. You're doing this because you feel like you don't deserve happiness for all the mistakes you've made."
!!!
I can't believe how accurate she was, "I..." I didn't know what to say.
"The better punishment would be to go to your family and live your days with them."
"How would that be a punishment?"
"Because you'd be living the rest of your life looking at those three females and regretting what you did to them, what you could have been to them, and how much time you had lost not being with them."
The hair on my skin all stood up and I got a severe dose of goosebumps.
"Here," she took out a pen from her bag and handed it to me, "Sign the papers whenever you're ready," She smacked her lips together, "I've already signed them."
I took it from her and then stared at it. Then looked at the file on the bench
"Is that the right thing to do?"
"I have no fucking clue," She answered, making me smile.
I picked up the file and opened it, but before I signed it, I looked at her again, "We're really going our separate ways?"
She shrugged, "It's time to move on,"
I looked down at the paper. There was a weird sensation in my heart. I felt sad, anxious, and broken but at the same time, there was a tiny glimmer of hope where I felt like this was all for the better.
The mixture of emotions was heavy. Just thinking about things, and them actually happening is very different.
My heart started pounding as I stared at the file.
Move on...
Hmmm, It was such an alien feeling.
Move on...
...
Maybe it is time to let things go.
I put the pen's nib on the paper and signed my name.