Chapter 103 The lonely woman
>>Grace
All the years I spent as Mael, I could only meet Amara during events or at secret meetings where I made sure no one was following me.
The Omega retreat was one such event that took place when she and I were in the beginning of high school.
Dad had gone on an overseas trip and Rachel said she'd be staying at a party overnight.
I was at that party too. We attended it together but I pretended to leave with everyone else because right next door the omega students were having a small overnight trip and Amara was there.
The trip was sponsored by the elite class but the students were invited to the party, they had their own casual dinner.
As the night got darker, I left the party, snuck into an outdoor bathroom, changed clothes, wore a wig, and ran over to Amara.
I met her at the entrance, she and her friend Nico were there and they took me to where they were having their late-night dinner and snacks. It was an outing filled with laughter and the crackling glow of a bonfire.
We gathered around the dancing flames, I felt a sense of camaraderie and inclusion in the place, a welcome departure from the usual solitude that accompanied my suffocating world.
The scent of wood smoke hung in the air, blending with the delicious aroma of roasted marshmallows. The bonfire's flickering light painted a mosaic of shadows on our faces as we settled around it.
That's when I got acquainted with Nico. He was a lovely fellow and I was really glad that Amara had made a good friend.
As we sat on makeshift seats, the cool night air kissed our faces, and I reveled in the simple joy of being surrounded by the comforting presence away from the pressure of the elite class and my odd family situation. The food, a delightful array of grilled goodies and snacks, passed around like tokens of shared joy, became a centerpiece for our conversations.
The taste of roasted marshmallows, the crunch of snacks, and the occasional sip of a warm drink added sensory dimensions to the experience. The night wore on, but time seemed to slow down in the best possible way.
As the flames dwindled and embers glowed in the darkness, I couldn't help but feel a little lonely. People began to leave and I knew I had to get back before Rachel got home so that I wouldn't get in trouble.
Nico left to go back to the inn all the omegas were staying in while Amara and I walked to a quiet place where I could change back and leave without anyone noticing.
But little did we know, an unexpected encounter awaited us at the threshold of departure.
As we approached the exit, someone seemed to have followed behind us
"Hey!" She called out to us, "You two!" Amara and I both froze at the familiar voice.
Oh No...
My heart dropped.
"Turn around," She demanded and my sister and I slowly turned our heads, first looking at each other as we made the turn, then looking back at the woman who stopped us.
Shit
This is the worst-case scenario.
We found ourselves face-to-face with my stepmother. I did not expect her to come here. Why would she leave the party and walk all the way to the Omega retreat when she's an Alpha werewolf??? Her presence was as surprising as it was unsettling. She stood there, slightly swaying, a silhouette against the dimly lit background.
I looked at her in fear, unsure what to do here. I did not think she'd come here, ever. I get that we're far from the other omegas and the place we are standing at is pretty much desolate, but that's exactly what I needed to get out of here!!
Why would Rachel be in a place like this?!?!?
The initial shock sent shivers down my spine. I felt an irrational fear that she might see through the layers and recognize me. The unexpectedness of the encounter heightened my anxiety and I was dreading that I was in for a bad time when we got back home.
"You," Her eyes were on me and my heart dropped.
GOD!
I'm done for!!!
"You look familiar," She began to walk towards me while my heart started drumming in my chest. Amara noticed and moved closer to me, taking my hand in hers. And although she provided some solace, I didn't want her to get in trouble so I shook her hand off and stepped away.
She looked at me in shock and I signed to her, 'I can't have you getting in trouble!'
Rachel reached us before Amara got a chance to say anything back. Her shadow loomed over and I felt my heart tremble in horror.
"You," Her eyes were red and she looked drunk. This close-up, I could see her more clearly and noticed how she looked a little out of it, "It's you," She raised her hand in the air as her facial expressions contorted.
OH NO!
I felt my heart squeeze in fear and I closed my eyes as Amara also began to panic.
"Mael!" Rachel called out to me, showing that she had indeed caught on and I was ready to get in a smack or two before I was dragged away.
However, the scene took an unforeseen turn, "Where have you been?" The hand she had in the air came and softly touched my cheek.
...!?!?
Huh??
"I've been looking for you," Her words slurred, and her gaze, clouded by the effects of alcohol, failed to pierce through the disguise.
???
I opened my eyes and looked back at her in confusion.
"M-mom?" I replied to her as I should as part of the family.
"Oh!" Her expressions were soft, "Mael," Broken even, "Where have you been?" She crouched down and pulled me into a hug.
!!!???
I had no idea what was happening and I glanced at Amara who stood in her place in confusion as well.
"Mael," Rachel caressed the back of my head, "I miss you so much my love,"
I was frozen stiff in my place but a weird sensation swirled around me. She called me 'Mael', that was my name at the time but she called it with so much tenderness I knew she wasn't calling me.
"Why did you leave me?" She pulled apart a little and looked at my face
!!!!
Tears were flowing down her cheeks, "Why?" She asked as she held my face tenderly in her hands, "Why did you leave Mom?"
My heart dropped deep into the pit of my stomach as soon as I realized she was mistaking me for her son— her real son.
A bizarre twist of mistaken identity that left me both a little relieved that she didn't recognize me and more perplexed since the situation had taken a complicated turn.
I couldn't bring myself to say anything to her. I could just watch her as her eyes glistened with tears and kept rolling down her cheeks. "Do you know how lonely I am without you?" There was a genuine vulnerability in her actions as she reached down for my hands and squeezed them, "I think about you every day..."
I looked down in shame. Guilt began to eat me up. I never thought about how lonely she would have felt without her family. There isn't really anyone with her she can claim as her own at the moment. Even with Dad, there is a distance between them.
She probably mistook me for Mael because of our similar appearance. She was drunk enough for that to be possible. To begin with, I was forced into this role because Mael and I looked similar as children.
"Mael," She brought my hands back up, "Didn't you think about me?" She kissed the fingers of my hands making me feel odd, "Didn't you think how hurt I would be without you?" She kissed the back of my hands making me feel culpable, "Without you here, I feel like I've become something I'm not."
It was a weird sensation. I couldn't bring myself to move away from the affection she was giving me, even though it wasn't meant for me.
"You probably don't know," Her voice trembled, she looked into my eyes as hers were constantly foggy, "You don't know how bad I feel every day." My chest tightened, "Someone else had to take your place," She squeezed my hands but gently as if she was trying to be careful.
She didn't want to hurt Mael since he was always so weak.
"Your sister took your place, and I can't accept that." She choked on her words, "I can't," She shook her head, "I just can't," Her breathing started to become ragged and my feeling got worse, "I know I shouldn't be," She pulled me closer, "I know," She choked up, "I know she's just a child as well and I shouldn't punish her the way I do-" She pulled me back into a hug, "But I can't seem to stop myself," Her embrace felt oddly warm, "I know it's wrong of me, I do... But I can't seem to forget about you, my love."
Tears welled up in my eyes
"Tell me, Mael," She nuzzled next to me, "How do I stop myself?" I felt her tears fall on my neck, "How do I stop this?" I felt her heartbeat, beating so loudly I couldn't help but frown, "I feel like a monster every single day."
In her intoxicated state, she bared her soul, "I don't even come close to being a good mother," The words spilled out, a stream of consciousness that carried the weight of unspoken emotions. It was a moment of raw honesty, a poignant confession amidst the haze of alcohol-induced confusion, "That child, your sister, I can't help but look at her every day and think about you. And I find myself turning into something I hate."
The anxiety in my chest rose to a different level. My heart stung with guilt I never knew I would be carrying when I did as Mael told me to do.
"Mael," She placed a hand on my cheek, slightly pulling me apart, "Come back to me," She kissed my cheek again, "Come back to Mom," She hiccuped, "Please," She begged, "Please," Her voice a mere whisper, "I don't want to be a monster, I don't wish to be something bad but without you, I feel like I turn into something more ugly every passing day." She used her other hand and brought her fingers to my eyes
"Hmmm?" She wiped the tears in the corners of my eyes, "I seemed to have lost myself..." Her actions were so soft, I found myself in a trance.
The situation, though rooted in mistaken identity, became a catalyst for a moment of vulnerability.
"I'm so sorry," She gulped, "I'm sorry for what I've become," She shook her head as she kept her hazy eyes on me, "I'm sorry for being a bad mother, I'm just so sorry child." She seemed lost, "I didn't want any of this but I don't know what to do." Her raw display made me tear up and I noticed Amara wipe her tears away as well.
We were in such a weird and complicated situation where we all were simply lost and had no way we knew that could lead us out.
"Mael," She called her son, "I'm sorry," She looked at me and I wondered if she was apologizing to me as well. Maybe it was just my wishful thinking but the encounter made my conscious and my heart feel heavy.
As I stood there, enveloped in this strange display of affection, I couldn't help but reflect on the unpredictability of human emotions. The way she cried in front of me that night, how she called herself a monster, and how she felt so ugly made my heart hurt.
It was all too much for me to handle and my heart wavered.
Up until that point I had begun to hate her a lot, but that night changed everything. Her vulnerability and her true feelings that just seeped out made me feel guilty.
I did kill her son. I took away her joy and her child whom she adored so much and seeing how she's also just stuck in a situation like I am. I couldn't bring myself to continue hating her.
It was that night that made me realize how lonely she actually was.
She passed out after she kept apologizing and I took her home with me but made sure to never bring that topic up ever again.
I doubt she even remembers that night with how hammered she was.