Chapter 100 Answers
>>Amara
Dad looked at me with a surprised expression.
I guess he wasn't expecting me to ask him a question like that. It was a little straightforward but I honestly had no idea how else I was supposed to ask it.
He looked away, staring beyond the glass fence
"Did I love your mother?" He repeated the question, almost as if he was asking himself. I brought my hands down and stared at him. This was a crucial question, "I guess you're asking this because I chose my wife in the end, aren't you?"
I nodded at him and clenched my hands that now rested on my thighs.
I wonder how he felt all this time. Mom was his fated mate, someone he was bound to love, so how was it that he chose his wife and not her? How did any of our ancestors do that?
"Yes," He replied, "From the very moment I laid my eyes on her," And I felt goosebumps erupt on my body, "From the beginning," He paused for a moment, "Even now..." He turned his head to glance at me and I felt a rush go through me.
'Then why!?' I asked, 'Why didn't you choose her?' This always bothered me. It bothered me even when I had no idea how strong the mate bond was, but after I experienced it, my doubts doubled.
If it was so strong, how did people leave their mates?
A subtle but broken smile appeared on his face, "I was afraid,"
My mouth opened, slightly agape, at his answer.
'Afraid?'
He nodded, "I loved my wife very much," The more he talked, the wearier he looked, "But all of those strong emotions just seemed to vanish when I saw your mother." He looked up at the dark sky, "The pull was so strong I knew I was in trouble and I was going to reject your mother and get away but then-"
'She went into heat,' I sighed, 'I know...'
"And then she had you two..." He nodded, "I didn't go back to your mom for a while so I didn't know for a while that she had you two. I stayed with Rachel, but I felt so guilty. It was eating me up and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't get your mother out of my mind... Especially because I never got to reject her."
'You said the pull was strong,' My emotions had calmed down a little, 'So why did you think about rejecting her?' I looked into his eyes, 'Because of Rachel? Your wife? Or because Mom had no background to support her?'
I've always wondered about this. If Mom was from a prominent family member, daughter of some tycoon, would Dad's decision have been different? The Elite class only likes people like themselves after all and that fact alone is what has always made me afraid, especially after I met with Killian.
He let out a soft scoff, "It has nothing to do with personal backgrounds." He shook his head, "Absolutely nothing."
...
My feelings mushed up a little.
Nothing?
It didn't matter? Not at all? I blinked at him in confusion as I felt an odd sensation.
'Then?'
His gaze wandered for a moment, then it came back to me, "It was messed up from the start. I knew if I didn't reject her right at the beginning I wouldn't be able to do it later either. That's why when I met your mother in the forest while hunting, I took her away to a more private spot, away from the other hunters to reject her and pretend it never happened."
"But I guess she knew what I was going to do and I don't know if her wolf forced out a heat because of the fear or if it was meant to happen, but any wolf is bound to go wild as soon as he smells an omega in heat."
I nodded.
I knew that well. That's why omegas always keep their pills with them.
"And resisting the heat of a fated pair is pretty much impossible..." He closed his eyes in shame, "When I went back and saw Rachel that night, the emotions of guilt started to eat me up. We had promised to be there for each other and we also had a son that I adored. I loved him beyond compare,"
Mael...
The real Mael
"Day and night I would think about it and Rachel had caught the gist of it too but she didn't say anything to me at that time and because of that, I further felt burdened, because it clearly meant she trusted me but I had already gone ahead and broken it." His figure dropped a little as he bent down and leaned on his thighs with his elbows.
"And I promised myself I wouldn't see your mother again, I told myself, as long as I stayed away, I could forget about it." He glanced at me, then shook his head, "But it was impossible."
I felt bad. He looked so broken, my heart hurt.
"In the end, I couldn't choose between Rachel because I knew if I left her she would break. I couldn't abandon my son and my wife, especially when my son was born sick and I knew both of them needed me but I couldn't forget your mother either, because in the end, she was destined for me and I had marked her when I lost my senses when I first met her,"
He let out a deep sigh.
"But in my struggle to maintain things, I broke everything apart.." He slumped down and then there was silence, "I ruined everything, so it's natural that today I'm sitting here in a psychiatric hospital and everyone thinks I'm a lunatic." He nodded, "I'm fine with it honestly," My heart broke for him, "I deserve it."
The clouds began to clear up but the wind didn't stop. I guess he was attached- no- He loved his son a lot. Mael meant the world to him. I know that because he lost his mind when he lost him. So I understand how he couldn't bring himself to abandon Rachel and his son. And I also know Mom cheated, but in a sense, she wasn't wrong either. Dad is her mate, he does belong to her by destiny...
I felt my chest heavy. Dad was stuck, Mom was stuck, and Rachel was stuck too. All in a situation where they wanted love. And neither of them wanted to be abandoned.
...
I wonder if any of this could have been different if there could have been an option to talk it all out? No wife would want his husband stolen but no mate would want to be rejected either.
It really was a messed up situation... Rachel was really young when she married Dad, I think she was a new adult, so it makes sense why Dad was more protective of her and felt guilty about how everything played out...
I let out a soft sigh, then poked his arm to make him look at me.
'Dad?'
"Yes?"
'If you weren't married to Rachel, would you have chosen Mom?'
He smiled as he straightened up, this time a genuine one, "Without a doubt," He said, making my heart do a little flip, "If only I had met her before I married Rachel..." His eyes seemed to carry distant wishes. Wishes that never got to become reality, "Things would have been so much easier." He nodded, mostly to himself, "I would have given my everything to your mother if Rachel wasn't in my life. Because if a fated pair doesn't reject you right away, it means they can never do it,"
!!!!
His words hit me like a truck
"Because the more you see each other, the more you fall for one another. It's pretty much impossible to escape." And I found some sort of solace in his words, "Well, I guess there are always exceptional cases, but they would be scarce because the mate bond is too strong."
'Really? You would have chosen her without a doubt? Even though she's mute?' I asked, 'And even though she gave birth to someone like me too?'
My words took him by surprise.
A bewildered expression took over his face and he raised his brows at me, "What even?" He looked at me with confusion, but then his eyes softened, and he slid closer to me, "What are you even thinking about, child?" He placed his hand on my head again, "Nothing like that ever mattered to me." He gently stroked my head, "Never," He let out a chuckle, "Communication was never a hurdle between your Mom and I."
I somehow felt overwhelmed by it all, 'Nothing bothered you about her? Nothing at all?'
He shook his head, "If I was single, maybe even just engaged I would have chosen your Mom. Because till this day, she hasn't left my mind."
My heart felt a little full
'You wouldn't have cared if people talked?'
"So much has happened," He replied, "People still talk, and I still can't get her out of my mind." He let out a sigh, "I don't think I ever will."
I ended up smiling at his words and my chest didn't feel so stuffy anymore.
'Did you learn how to sign for her?'
"No," He replied, "I marked her, and if fated pairs mark each other, they can mind-link in human form too." He took his hand off and intertwined his hands in the space between his legs.
!!!
My eyes went wide and i looked at him in disbelief
WHAT!?!??!
"It's not common knowledge since fated mates are rarely found anymore, but your mother and I can mind-link, we talk without a problem."
My mouth hung open
OH! MY! GOD!!!!
That was a mindblowing discovery!!! That means if Killian marks me, I can talk to him without a problem!?!?
But
It made sense
There were a few times I noticed Mom and Dad both just staring at each other and making expressions. But they never talked. So I guess this is what was happening!!
But wait
Another question popped into my head.
'Then why learn how to sign?'