A BITTER MEMORY

A BITTER MEMORY
I stepped into the hallway, shutting the classroom door behind me. 
The moment I turned, he was there, leaning against the wall, waiting like he knew I’d come this way really soon.
“Cash,” I hissed under my breath. “Stop following me.”
“I can’t”
“I’m warning you.”
He shook his head, defiant. “You can’t keep pretending like nothing happened between us.”
“Are you insane?” I hissed. “Don’t bring that up, here.”
“Why? It’s not like we haven’t done sexual things here,” he said, voice low. “Why are you being insufferable?.”
“You almost sabotaged this mission by using my real name and you just embarrassed me in front of my class…”
“You’ve been avoiding me for weeks, I wanted to get your attention.”
“I told you I needed space,” I snapped.
“You’ve been ignoring me for too long, it’s killing me,” he says quietly. 
“You’ve been stalking me, Cash. You’re starting to act like a creep.”
“I don’t bother you, I just wanted you to talk to me.”
“You mean your complete lack of respect for boundaries isn’t already enough bother?”
“I needed to see you, Isabel.“
“Then make an appointment during office hours like every other student and see me then.” I countered, still waking to my office with him in tow.
“I’m not every other student.”
“That’s the problem.” I snapped and pushed the door to my office open.
Cash hurried in after me and shut the door.
He moved closer to me, too close, until his shadow swallowed mine. “Why? Because you’re scared someone will find out about us?”
“You have far bigger issues than worrying about us Cash” 
He froze.
“You’ve been having an affair with your brother,” I said, my voice trembling with fury and disbelief. “That’s disgusting.”
He flinched like the words had hit him like a slap.
I heard his breath hitch. “I know…”
The confession slipped out raw, and Cash looked away, biting the inside of his cheek to stop the tremor and probably mask his shame.
I blinked, stunned. “That’s what you’ve been refusing to tell me?” I asked, stepping closer. “Why have you been trying to push him away so no one will find out?”
His expression faltered, and suddenly all that anger he’d seem to bury surged to the surface.
“Do you think I wanted any of this?” He snapped. “You think I’m proud of what he did to me?”
My brows furrowed, confusion flickering. “What did he do to you?”
Cash swallowed, staring at the floor. “You don’t know half of it, Isabel. So don’t stand there and judge me like you’re clean.”
I reached out, but he jerked back before my hand touched his. “Don’t.”
“Then tell me the truth,” I said, folding my arms . “Tell me what really happened.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Bullshit.” My voice hardened, matching his. “You’re lying to me. You’ve been lying since the day Cage showed up in Oregon. Since the day you returned home and kept him at arms length like a plague.”
“I said don’t!”
I sighed, shaking my head in disappointment and pushed him back to get past him, but he caught my wrist.
The contact sent a shiver through me. His hand was hot, firm and familiar. My body betrayed me, leaning into him even as my mind screamed to pull away.
He lowered his head until his breath brushed my ear. “You think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me? You think I don’t feel it? I know you want me Isabel. Why do you want to ruin what we had between us?”
I swallow hard. “Because it was unprofessional.”
“Because it meant something,” he counters.
“Stop.”
“Because you I know you miss me too.”
“Stop it!” I snapped trembling, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I whispered, feeling my core get wet. 
“Oh, I do.”
His voice was rough, dark. “Because I’ve been trying to stop thinking about you, but I can’t. I can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t breathe without seeing your face. You ruined me, Isabel.”
“Stop…”
He silenced me with a kiss.
It wasn’t gentle. It was messy, angry, desperate, his mouth crushing mine like he wanted to erase every hostility between us. 
I tried to push him away, but my resistance melted the moment his hand slid into my hair.
A choked sound escaped me, half gasp, half moan.
I kissed him back before I could stop myself, fingers curling into his shirt.
Then reality hit hard, the kiss flash through my mind again and I shuddered.
I shoved him away with both hands. “Stay away from me, before I make you. You know I mean it, Cash.”
His chest rose and fell rapidly. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” My voice was tight. “Don’t make me hate you too.”
He stared at me, jaw tight, pain etched deep in every line of his face. “It’s too late for that now, I won’t let you thrash what we had.”
I turned, forcing my legs to move. My heels clicked sharply against the floor as I marched toward my desk. I could hear his footsteps following.
“Isabel…”
“Don’t.” I didn’t look back. “You’ve said and done enough, leave”
He didn’t listen. He rounded my desk till he was an inch away from me.
I spun around, annoyed at his audacity. “Have you completely lost your mind?”
“You can’t just walk away from me like that.”.
“I already did, please leave my office.”
“No, not until you take me back.”
I laughed bitterly. “Take you back? I don’t want you anymore Cash.”
“What do you want me to do?” His hands flexed at his sides. “Because I can’t deny what has happened between us in the past, even if I hate it!”
“Because denying it won’t erase it!” I shouted back. The words hung in the air. “I know what I saw, so what the fuck are you saying?”
“I’m saying you don’t understand,” he hissed. “You don’t understand what it’s like to be bound to someone by blood and hate. You don’t know what he did to me. You don’t know how it started.”
“Then tell me,” I demanded. “Tell me so I can understand why the hell you keep punishing yourself for something you didn’t do.”
Tears burned behind my eyes, but I blinked them away. “Because every time I look at you now, all I see is him. Every touch, every kiss we’ve ever had, he ruined it all.”
Silence.