Chapter 44 44
FREYA POV
I leaned my head back against the leather headrest and watched Steve’s.
He focused on the drive as if nothing had happened; he definitely knew I wanted to know what was going on. He could feel my eyes on him, and he could feel the way my breath hitched every time the engine roared louder, but he chose not to talk about it, focusing on the drive.
I looked down at the center console, where the phone was now dark. I wanted to reach out and grab it and read the full thing, but I know I can’t.
I exhaled slowly, trying to force the tension out of my shoulders. I followed his lead. leaned back into the car seat and tried to focus on the blur of trees passing by the window. Even though deep down I knew there was a problem. A big one.
The name Mark was now a poison to my ears. Hearing it today, after the peace I had found in Steve’s arms, felt like a slap in the face. I didn't know what Mark had done now, and I didn't know why Steve’s people were talking about him.
Steve didn't look at me. He kept his eyes on the road, his left hand steady on the wheel at twelve o'clock, but his right hand moved from the gear shift to cover mine. He squeezed, his large palm engulfing my fingers, his thumb rubbing a slow, grounding circle over my knuckles.
He didn't turn his head. His left hand stayed gripped on the steering wheel, but his right hand kept squeezing my hand softly, rubbing a slow, rough circle over my knuckles.
“I promised I’d handle it,” he said. His voice was low. “You don’t have to think about anything, Freya. Just trust me.”
He squeezed my hand even harder then, like he was trying to anchor me. I found it hard to form a word to respond; I just remained still as my head was running around with a mess of several questions and fear. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and squeezed back, letting him take the lead.
The rest of the drive was a blur. The closer we got to the city, the more the mood shifted.
Mark is just literally a mood spoiler…
When we finally pulled up to the house, Steve didn't just let me jump out. He killed the engine and sat there for a second, staring at the front door. Then he moved. He got out, walked around the front of the car, and opened my door. He reached in, grabbed my bag from the floorboard, and handed it to me.
One of his guys was already standing near the porch. I didn't know his name, but he looked like the rest of them. Steve caught the guy's eye and gave him a short, sharp nod. It was a silent command.
"Walk her inside," Steve told him.
He looked back at me then. The intensity in his eyes was almost too much to look at.
"I need to go," he said.
I clutched my bag to my chest. I wanted to ask where he was going or when he’d be back, but I just nodded.
"Okay," I whispered.
He didn't say goodbye. He just watched me until I reached the front door with his guard, and then I heard the car door slam. By the time I turned around, he was already pulling away, heading toward whatever hell Mark had created.
I walked into the house, and everywhere was so quiet, but just as I walked in, Ben appeared from a corner and walked to me; Nana met me in the hallway. She looked relieved to see me but stayed calm. She explained that Luna and Diana were still out at the park, enjoying the sun. I just nodded. Steve had mentioned that earlier this morning.
I reached into my bag to call them, my fingers searching for a phone that wasn't there. I had forgotten for a split second that my phone was still in pieces from the last time Mark lost his temper.
I looked at Ben. I couldn't stay in this house alone with my thoughts. If I sat in silence, I would start imagining the worst—Mark’s destruction and the look on Steve’s face when he finally caught up to him—and somehow my mind went back to the dream of his death photograph.
"Can I borrow your phone?" I asked.
Ben didn't ask questions. He pulled it out and handed it over. I took it and walked toward the kitchen, dialing Diana’s number. I needed to hear my daughter’s voice. I needed to pull myself back into her world of simple joy. I forced a smile onto my face as the line started to ring.
The phone rang three times before Diana picked up, and the first sound was Luna’s giggling
"Mommy!" Luna shouted into the phone. I could tell she was breathless from running.
"Hey, baby girl," I said,
"Are you having fun?"
"I saw a big dog, Mommy! And I went high on the swing!"
I closed my eyes, leaning against the cold kitchen counter. Her voice was so pure, so untainted by the violence and the lies of the adults around her. I leaned into it, letting her chatter about slides and ice cream fill my ears. It was the "volume of joy" I needed to drown out the dark images of Mark and Steve that kept flashing in my mind.
"That's wonderful, Luna. Stay with Diana, okay? Mommy will see you soon."
"Okay! Love you!"
The line went dead, and the silence rushed back in twice as hard. I handed the phone back to Ben. He took it with a nod and retreated back to his post, leaving me alone in the kitchen.
I looked down at my hands. They were shaking.