Darkness and shadows fill the area.
It’s different today.
It feels more like I’m watching the scene play out, not like usual. Normally, I’m a part of the shadows.
It’s gray, then I feel the hard ground and the room comes into view before me.
It’s a memory.
There’s Papa sitting at the table with the phone in his hands and Ma bringing the food to him.
I try to rush up to him to warn him. He shouldn’t have taken that call.
Uncle Ilya is the man who killed those men. It’s him, and he’s on his way here now. He’ll be here any minute.
I try to run. I try to scream.
It’s too late. The door to the house bursts open, and in they come. Ilya with the bodyguards who betrayed Papa. They don’t want him to be leader either. They’re the greedy kind like Ilya who want more wealth the dirty way.
Papa gets up to protest, and Ilya shoots him in his chest.
He falls to his knees. Ma screams.
The blood pours from his chest, and there’s so much screaming, so much pain. Hers and mine. It’s like an ocean of voices crying out.
Then horror fills me when Ilya pulls out a long knife and cuts Papa’s head off. The men cheer as Ilya lifts Papa’s head off the ground and holds it up, roaring like a savage. Two men grab my mother, and someone grabs me. I don’t know who it is.
They take me and her to the courtyard.
Ilya carries a bucket and throws liquid all over her. The second the smell hits me, I know what it is. Gasoline.
I struggle to help her, screaming and crying. Bawling from my soul.
Then I see the fire. Fire that blazes when it touches her skin. She looks to me first, and she speaks, but I never hear her.
I don’t know what she wanted to say to me because she’s engulfed by flames, and I scream and scream and scream.
Someone is shaking me and calling my name. Calling the name I chose when I left Russia. Ava.
The horror fades before me when Vincent’s face comes into my view.
He can help me.
I bolt upright into his arms.
“Save her!” I cry, and he holds me.
“Ava… baby,” he breathes, holding me close.
I look around the room and realize it’s not just him in here. Marguerite’s here too.
She looks worried.
I pull back, and a trickle of blood drips onto my wrist. My nose. It’s bleeding. Vincent gets up and grabs a tissue from the box on the nightstand. He dabs at my nose and glances back at Marguerite.
“I’ll get some warm water,” she says and leaves us.
Vincent wipes at my nose, and when Marguerite returns with the warm water and a rag, he cleans my face.
“Marguerite… can you give us a few minutes, please?” Vincent asks her.
“Of course.” She leaves us, and he studies me.
I’m giving my secrets away. Putting them on display with my behaviour.
I glance out the window and see it’s morning, but I don’t know what day it is.
I’m still in his room and am wearing a night shirt I don’t remember changing into.
“Ava … please tell me what’s going on with you.” Vincent says.
“I had a really bad dream.” I’m shaking again.
“You’ve been asleep since the night before last. Unsettled sleep where you wake in bouts of screams, crying for your mother and father. Speaking Russian. You speak Russian?”
Oh God. This isn’t happening.
“I learned it at school. I… speak five languages,” I attempt.
He takes my hand and holds it. “Ava… the men at the party, you know them. You recognized them. You looked freaked, baby.”
“Vincent, please. I wasn’t feeling well.” I try to get off the bed, but he reaches for me and holds me in place.
“How do you know them?”
“I don’t.”
“You’re lying.”
“I need to go to work. Please let me go to work.”
“I’m calling your father.”
Christ… this is the last thing I want Dad worrying about. It would send him over the edge.
“No, please, Vincent. Can’t you just leave it?”
“Oh, so there is something to leave?”
“Vincent… I get migraines,” I lie, and I can see that he knows I’m lying. I just need to let this spell blow over. I can’t be around him though. He sees too much when he looks at me. I don’t want him to see the truth. “This is what happens. Can I just go to work? I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t know if you should be going to work.”
“I missed yesterday, and I have a lot of stuff I have to do.”
He stares at me for a little while then sighs. “I’ll take you.”
“Okay.” I’ll just have to endure a car ride with him and hope that I’ll be better later.
***
I distracted myself with work I didn’t need to do. Filing and all kinds of shit the office assistants tend to get done for me.
Freddie took me off a lot of the projects I was scheduled to work on so I could spend this week and next week closing off everything I had outstanding. That was all done by morning, and I’m now here in my office organizing the bookshelf. One more time. This time, I have the reference books on the top shelf and everything else in alphabetical order.
“You know, I don’t think those books could be more organized,” Freddie says.
I turn to see him standing by my office door looking at the shelf with a bright smile on his face.
“Oh, I just couldn’t decide what I wanted to do with everything.”
He laughs. “Ava, are you nervous?”
I wish it were just nerves. “Yes, a little. What gave me away?” I smile a smile I don’t feel.
“There’s nothing to be nervous of. I spoke to Coral yesterday, and she’s really excited to meet you. She’s got a host of things planned for the two of you to enjoy. I think you’re going to have the time of your life.”
That sounds amazing, and it gives me hope. “Oh, wow, thanks so much, and thanks again for such a wonderful opportunity. I’m really happy.”
Happy? Today I’m far from it. Days ago, I felt the happiness of my stupid imagination and my heart reaching out to love. Today, I can’t even think about that. I’m taking one hour at a time.
“You deserve it, Ava. Nobody works harder than you. And that’s why I’m giving you tomorrow off.”
“What?” I ask with a quiver in my voice. I should sound happier than that to get such a treat from Freddie. He doesn’t offer that to everyone.
“Time off, Ava. A break. That way you can get yourself organized and spend time with your father.”
But I’d rather be here. I can’t be around anyone right now. Definitely not around anyone like Dad, or Vincent. Not Holly either.
“Oh… thanks so much.” I pretend my gratitude. “Are you sure I shouldn’t come in and work? There’s always so much to be done.”
He laughs. “Ava, sweetie. Only you would say such a thing to me. The answer is no. You’ve done everything, so have some time to yourself. Come in on Monday, and that’s it. Spend the rest of the time with your father.”
If I press to stay, it’s going to look weird. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”
“Good, see you in the morning. Don’t stay too late.”
“I won’t.” I can’t. Vincent will be here in half an hour on the mark.
Freddie leaves, and I turn back to the bookcase deciding to continue where I left off.
I’d just gotten to E. The lady who owned all these books donated them to the office before she left. I found them very useful when I started. There’s everything from yoga to understanding plyometrics training. There’s a little bit of everything to help us research. It’s not massive, but it’s quick access.
Footsteps sound against the floor again, and I turn thinking Freddie forgot to tell me something.
It’s not Freddie at the door though. It’s Dmitri.
The shock from the sight of him makes me drop the book I was holding.
“Oh my, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” he says.
Jesus Christ… what is he doing here?
Oh God… why am I even thinking that? He’s here because he recognizes me. The same look is in his eyes. The same look from two nights ago.
Fuck.
My heart freezes in my chest when he walks up to me, crouches down, and picks up the book.
He holds it out to me, and I take it. Our fingers brush against each other, and bile rises in my throat.
He touched me. It was the touch I was avoiding. Vincent’s not here to save me. He’s not here. No one is.
Dmitri smiles that wicked smile I remember. It’s so prominent in my mind. Apart from my uncle, this man was the worst.
“I hope you don’t mind me dropping by,” he states.
“No…” I answer, steadying my voice. I try to push aside terror and reach deep down inside my soul for courage. His very presence is suspicious. I never gave this man my new name. How does he know where I work? “Is there something I can do for you?”
“It’s just that… I thought I recognized you.”
I play the good actress and narrow my eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before. Where might that have been?”
It’s not working. A shiver runs down my spine mixed with cold and heat when he looks me over.
“Have you ever been to Russia?” He looks into my eyes. My fucking eyes. The same way he used to when he had me pinned beneath him.
“No… I have not. I’ve lived here all my life. Is that what you came to ask me?”
“Yes… Ava Knight. My mistake though. I thought you might be someone else.”
Ava Knight... I steady my heart.
“Oh, well, if that’s all, I’m quite busy. I need to finish my work.”
“Of course, you do, dear. Vincent Giordano is quite a good catch. Lucky man too.”
“Thank you.”
The intense look he gives me as he glares at me freezes my blood. The look doesn’t match the fake-as-hell smile he’s trying to mask it with.
Or maybe that’s his intent.
With a nod of his head, he leaves me.
Leaves me staring after him until I can’t see him anymore.
I wouldn’t be foolish enough to think I got off free.
No. I didn’t He knows it’s me, and if that is so, everyone I know is in danger.
Dad…. Does he know where Dad is? If he found me, then maybe he found Dad too.
What am I going to do?
Then there’s Vincent… the only person who might be able to help me.
Why would he though?
This is the Bratva. You go against them, and it’s war.
Vincent has a family, and I’m a debt repayment.
My time will be up in eight days.
I have to leave.
I have to get to Dad and leave.
***
I have a plan.
I sent Dad a message letting him know I needed to see him.
I was discreet, not saying too much because I don’t want him to panic.
Vincent gave me my phone back, but I’m careful. He’s not here. He left early, which made my plan possible.
I have my passport and clothes that fit in the handbag. It’s not enough, but it will do for a few nights.
I’ve arranged with Pierbo to take me into town. I said I needed to get a few personal things.
We’ll be leaving in ten minutes.
I look around the bedroom I’ve lived in for the last four and a half weeks. I remember that first night when I slept on the floor. I was so scared.
I’ve lived my life in fear for so long. It’s been too long.
Too damn long, so long I can’t remember what it’s like to just be normal.
There have been glimpses of normal. Glimmers and shimmers of what I could have, and they’ve all been with Vincent.
Our relationship was so intense, and it still has that same feeling.
I wish for the fantasy. I really do. I wish I could have met him under different circumstances.
The coffee shop fantasy.
It’s a good one. One I hold on to and will forever. This is it. It’s goodbye. When I saw him this morning, it was the last. His handsome face looking over me with so much worry.
I push it out of my mind and will my tears away.
I leave the room and go downstairs. Marguerite is just walking by with Timothy, who laughs when he sees me. I would have loved to get to know them both a little longer.
“Are you okay, sweet Ava?” Marguerite asks. “Can I get you anything before you go?”
“No, I shouldn’t be too long.” I hate lying to her.
“You sure Pierbo can’t get you what you need? I’ve been so worried about you.” She looks it.
“I need the fresh air. It will be good for my headaches.”
“Okay, dear, see you in a little while.”
I look at her, and emotion takes me. She was so nice to me when I needed nice. I hug her, placing my arms around her and Timothy, and they both hold me back.
“Princess Ava,” Timothy says and starts clapping.
“Thank you, baby.” He looks so much like Vincent. I give him a little kiss on his cheek, and he smiles.
When I look back to Marguerite, there’s something knowing in the look she gives me. It’s like she can tell I mean for this to be goodbye. She doesn’t say anything though.
I go through the door never looking back. Pierbo is on the driveaway waiting for me.
“Where to, Ava?” he asks.
“If you head to the mall and park in the parking lot, I’ll be able to get to where I want to from there. I should just be about half an hour.”
“Okay.”
The thing about trust is when it’s given freely, it can be broken easily.
All these people around me are trained to know that I can be trusted. I did what I was told, and no one would dare think I’d ever try to escape. And why would I do so when I only have a handful of days left?
So, all Pierbo does is smile as I leave him in the parking lot.
He never questions me, and he probably won’t think anything has happened in half an hour when I don’t return. Maybe not even forty minutes.
He’ll just assume I was delayed. My guess is, I have one hour before he starts panicking.
That’s fine. I’m on my way to Dad’s. On the subway, it takes a little over an hour from the city center. Then I have to walk to his apartment.
When I get there, I just have to figure out what to do next.