“He said I was a really good friend, Gage,” Scottie said, frowning into his coffee cup as he sank down at the small table across from his friend.
Scottie had already closed up the shop for the evening, but invited Gage in for an afterhours cup of coffee and a chat.
Well… more of a vent than a chat, if he was being honest.
Okay, so if he was being really honest, the venting was the only reason he had asked Gage to come over right that minute.
Not that he didn’t enjoy talking to his friend, of course. But still… venting.
“That’s good,” Gage replied, nodding enthusiastically as he sipped his steaming latte and then sucked in a sharp breath. “Ow… Why do I always try to drink it far too soon? Anyway, being a really good friend is a good thing. A great thing! Right?”
Scottie heaved a dramatic, Calvin-esque sigh. Was he just being overly dramatic?
Overly sensitive?
Just ridiculous?
“It is a good thing,” Scottie admitted. “I’d so much rather be Trenton’s friend than… whatever we were before. Enemies seems a bit harsh, but we definitely weren’t friendly up until recently. So yes, this is a lot better than that…”
“But… ?” Gage quirked an eyebrow and took another tentative sip.
Scottie couldn’t help but smile, even though he was not really in the mood for smiling. Gage just knew him too well.
“But is it dumb that I thought maybe he might be looking for something more than just friends?” Scottie rolled his eyes. “I mean, I know it’s too soon. Trenton and I might have known each other for years now, but obviously most of that time doesn’t really count.”
“O-kay,” Gage said, drawing the word out as his eyebrows knitted together. “I agree with everything you’re saying so far, but I still feel like I might be missing something here. If you think it’s too soon to be more than friends, why do you sound disappointed?”
That was the big question, wasn’t it?
Scottie didn’t really have a legitimate reason to be disappointed, did he? He knew what he was getting into with Trenton, knew that Trenton wasn’t out of the closet—maybe wasn’t even gay—but that hadn’t stopped Scottie from kissing him on more than one occasion.
Or from getting his dick out when the opportunity presented itself.
So yeah, maybe it was a little unfair to expect more when that had never even been part of the conversation. But even if he didn’t expect it, was it so bad if he wanted it?
“Because I want more,” Scottie said, echoing his own thoughts. “Even though I know it’s too soon and all of that, I’m at the point in my life where I want more—where I need more. And as much as I enjoy spending time with Trenton, if there isn’t even a chance that it could possibly, someday be more, then…” He exhaled and shook his head. “Then I guess I have to ask myself how long I’m going to be okay with just being friends.”
“How long are you going to be okay with that?” Gage asked. “And have you had this conversation with Trenton yet? I guess I didn’t realize the two of you were even considering being more than friends. Am I just out of the loop on this one?”
Scottie crinkled his nose. He hadn’t really given anyone except Calvin more than the bare minimum when it came to details of what he’d been doing with Trenton, and even Calvin didn’t know how serious Scottie was starting to feel.
He hadn’t even realized it himself until just recently. Like… really recently.
Today, in fact, when Trenton had told him what a good friend he was. And instead of that feeling like the compliment it had obviously been intended as, it had felt like someone had thrown a glass of cold water in Scottie’s face.
Which of course wasn’t Trenton’s fault at all. But that didn’t take the sting away when every conversation they had felt like so much more than that.
Scottie certainly didn’t talk to any of his other friends the same way he did with Trenton—even friends like Calvin and Gage, who he had known forever.
And dear God, he was mortified even thinking about fooling around with any of them, even back in the day when they had all been single. That was just something Scottie didn’t do with his friends.
“You’re not out of the loop,” Scottie said, finally. “I mean, not intentionally. I’ve just kept the whole thing sort of hush-hush, since Trenton is still sort of… well… straight?”
Gage laughed. “If he was really straight, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. That doesn’t mean he’s gay, but…” He paused for a moment, then said, “Well, actually, I guess he could just be experimenting. That doesn’t make a person gay, in my opinion. Or bi, necessarily. Or anything else. But if that’s the case, you really need to find out before you get emotionally invested.” He gave Scottie a knowing look. “Before you become more invested, I mean.”
Scottie took a long drink of his coffee and considered Gage’s words. He’d brought up a good point—one that Scottie hadn’t really considered before.
This whole time, Scottie had been operating under the assumption that Trenton was actually gay. Or bi, maybe. Or pan or anything but straight.
But if this was just going to be some fun experimenting, Scottie would need to completely readjust his thinking. That wasn’t to say that he wouldn’t mess around with Trenton again if the situation came up, but if Trenton really wasn’t looking for anything except a fuck buddy, Scottie would have to make a conscious decision to check his feelings at the door.
“Thanks for letting me vent,” Scottie said, finally. He still didn’t know what he was going to do, but Gage had at least given him a chance to blow off some steam as well as a few more things to consider. “And thanks for stopping over when I know you’re ready to get home to Newton. Tell him I say hi.”
“I’ll tell him.” Gage smiled. “And you know I’ll be here anytime. Plus, you know I can’t turn down a free latte. It’s my weakness.”
“That was what I was counting on,” Scottie said, grinning. “Okay. Let’s get out of here. Thanks again.”
At least Scottie was thinking clearly now that he had said most of what he’d been thinking out loud. That had definitely helped.
Now he at least had an idea of what he needed to do.
He had to talk to Trenton. He had to get the answers to some of his questions.
And for his own peace of mind, he had to do it soon.
Scottie didn’t spend enough time in Second Chance Books, Jack and Calvin’s used bookstore, but every time he walked through the door, he felt like he could just get lost for hours.
The shop wasn’t even that big, really, but with the tall, dark wooden shelves, the cozy little reading nooks, and the way they seemed to be able to point to just the perfect book for his mood and taste, it was everything he loved about bookstores and everything he thought they should be.
“Hey, Scottie,” Jack waved from the front counter as soon as Scottie walked through the door. “You’re just the man I was wanting to see.”
Scottie quirked an eyebrow. “Does that mean I’m in trouble? Did Sasha chew up your favorite shoes? Belt? Socks? I’ve already started a wardrobe replacement fund, so I can just add yours to the tab.”
Jack laughed. “No, she’s a perfect angel at our house, believe it or not. But I think Darren has helped to keep her distracted with some of his cat toys. I’ll be keeping an eye on my shoes now, though, so thanks for the tip.”
“Lock them up in a very secure location,” Scottie said, only half-joking. “That’s my advice to you. But if my puppy and I aren’t in trouble, then what’s up?”
“We’re trying to lock in some dates for the new marketing campaign so I can set up the photoshoot with Newton,” Jack said. “I’m hoping within the next seven to ten days so we can get it done before the city council meeting. Are there any days coming up where you absolutely would not be able to make it?”
Scottie thought for a moment. “I’d have to double check my calendar, but I don’t think I have anything in particular coming up aside from a little time with Trenton, but I could even work around that if I had to.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Jack’s eyes widened a little. “I forgot you were sort of an item now. I think Calvin was up all night for that first date you and Trenton went on.”
Scottie laughed. “He cracks me up with his insatiable need to know what’s going on sometimes. But that was actually why I was stopping by. I wanted to get his opinion on a few things.”
“I’m afraid you’ve just missed him,” Jack said, nodding toward the door. “He left me here to hold down the fort while he went to make the bank deposit and then I think he was going to Akron to pick up a few office supplies.”
Scottie sighed. Maybe it was for the best, actually. He’d spent the past twenty-four hours thinking about what Gage had said, but hadn’t actually talked to Trenton about any of it yet. He’d been hoping for a second opinion, but if he was being honest, Scottie already knew he’d have to bring it up eventually.
And he doubted Calvin would have tried to talk him out of it.
“Was it anything I could help you with?” Jack asked. “I’m not the relationship expert in the family, but I could give it a shot.”
Scottie smiled, but shook his head. As much as he trusted Jack’s judgment—and he really did—he didn’t want to have to go into the whole back story to catch him up before getting an opinion. Scottie was pretty sure neither of them really had time for that at the moment, particularly since Jack was still at work and always had a million and one projects going at once.
“I appreciate it,” Scottie said. “But I should probably just head home and let you get back to work. I’ll text Calvin later. Have a good night, Jack.”
“You, too.” Jack waved goodbye as Scottie turned back toward the door. “And whatever is bothering you, just remember that it will get better. I’ll be in touch with some dates for the photoshoot.”
Scottie nodded, thanked Jack again, and walked out the door, the crisp air taking his breath away for a moment as he walked back to his car.
Maybe he should just go over to Topped Up right now and see if he could find a way to bring up the topic of dating in a way that wouldn’t sound forced or rushed or idiotic.
Yeah, no.
That wasn’t going to happen.
For starters, Scottie had no idea what to say. And even if he did, he probably shouldn’t corner Trenton at work about it. That was a conversation that was better left to after working hours, when they were alone.
But if the conversation didn’t end up going Scottie’s way, he didn’t want to ruin one of their fun date nights, either.
So he was back to square one—not knowing what to do or when to do it.
Opening his car door, Scottie slumped down into the seat. Maybe he should just hold out a little longer and see if Trenton brought it up at some point.
But how long would that be? How long was Scottie willing to wait? And what if Trenton never did ask?
They were all the same questions that had been running through Scottie’s mind since the day before. Unfortunately, he still didn’t have any answers.
He wasn’t sure when he would. And that was driving him crazy.