Trenton was sitting at the table with Clarence, barely listening to the older man gossiping about someone Trenton didn’t even know. He’d spent countless lunch breaks just like this, but it had never really bothered him until now.
If it wouldn’t have been rude—and if Clarence hadn’t been a loyal, paying customer—Trenton would have just gotten up mid-conversation and gone back to his office.
But, maybe this was at least a little better, since as long as Clarence was rattling on in his ear, Trenton couldn’t really think of anything else.
Like Scottie, for instance.
Trenton sighed, belatedly realizing that Clarence had stopped talking and was looking at him expectantly. With a non-committal noise, Trenton nodded and looked back down at his plate, hoping it would be enough to satisfy whatever question Clarence might have asked.
“That’s what I thought, too,” Clarence said, picking back up as if Trenton really had been a part of the conversation. “I told him if that was what he wanted to do then he could just—holy shit.”
Trenton looked up again, wondering what had made Clarence stop and half-turn out of his chair. “Holy shit,” Trenton repeated, pushing his plate aside as he stood up.
His legs carried him toward the front door, toward the man who was standing there waiting, watching.
“Scottie?” Trenton asked, as if maybe thinking about the man for so many days in a row had finally made his eyes start playing tricks on him. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you,” Scottie said, simply. “Can we talk?”
Trenton nodded. It wasn’t like he could refuse, with Scottie standing there in front of him. He wasn’t sure if he should feel anxious that Scottie was there or relieved that they were finally going to clear the air.
Maybe both.
Yeah, definitely both.
“Let’s go to my office,” Trenton said, nodding toward the back. “Right this way.”
He turned to lead Scottie to the back, acutely aware of the man’s eyes on the back of his neck as he walked. Yeah, anxiety was definitely winning out over relief.
What was he going to say? What was Scottie going to say? Was he pissed?
Scottie definitely wasn’t smiling, a rare occasion in itself. And certainly not a good sign for their upcoming conversation.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to call you,” Trenton said, as soon as they were alone in the office. “I almost did a million times. But… I didn’t know what to say, or even if you’d want to hear from me.”
They were both standing in the small space. Trenton gestured toward a chair, but Scottie ignored it.
“I’m here now,” Scottie said. “Don’t worry about what you think I might want to hear. What would you have said if you had called one of those million times?”
Trenton took a moment. He wanted to be as honest as he could—Scottie deserved that much, at least—but he didn’t want to get this wrong.
“First, I’d say again that I’m sorry.” Trenton paused, searching Scottie’s eyes. “I never meant for that to happen the other night, but…”
Well, was that totally true? Trenton certainly hadn’t been forced to kiss Scottie. And Scottie hadn’t pressured him, or coerced him, or even hinted that Trenton should do anything except come over for a nice dinner.
That kiss was all on Trenton, so it felt a little disingenuous for him to say he never meant for it to happen. He had been in control the entire time. He might have been a little confused, maybe a little horny. But he was the one who was responsible for his own actions.
“Actually,” Trenton said. “I did mean to kiss you.”
Scottie’s eyebrows shot up. He was obviously surprised by Trenton’s admission.
“Okay,” Scottie said, hesitantly. “But if you meant to do it, why did you rush out like you were being chased? And why didn’t you say something at the time, or… or call, or something?”
“I probably should have,” Trenton admitted. “I wanted to, but… I guess... I just didn’t know what to say. I still don’t...”
For several seconds, Scottie simply looked at him without speaking. When he did finally say something, his voice was small and quiet. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course,” Trenton said. “Anything. I’ll do my best to answer.”
“Have you ever kissed another guy before? Ever done anything with another man?”
At least that was an easy answer. “No.” Trenton shook his head. “Never. Not until you, I mean. Not until the other night.”
“What was going through your mind when you kissed me?” Scottie asked. “Did you… did you like it?”
“Yeah,” Trenton said. “I did. I liked it more than I ever thought I might. More than… yeah, I liked it.”
It was the absolute truth, but it still felt strange to admit it out loud. Everything that Trenton had been taught growing up, everything he had believed, had been told it was wrong to have those kinds of feelings for another man.
For a long time, that had been enough to keep him from doing anything like that—or from even admitting to himself that he might want to.
But if it really was so wrong, why had it felt so good? So right?
And Scottie was a good person—kind and generous and loyal. Why would it be wrong to have feelings for someone like that? How could it be?
Scottie’s voice cut through Trenton’s thoughts. “Would you want to kiss me again?”
Trenton swallowed hard.
He hadn’t expected that question.
Anger, hurt, maybe even yelling—he had sort of been ready for any and all of those things. But to even think about another kiss?
That question made him pause again.
Be honest.
Be open.
Don’t lie to Scottie.
Don’t lie to yourself.
“Yes,” Trenton said, simply. “I would want to. I do want to.”
The room was so quiet that Trenton could hear Scottie’s short, uneven breaths as he opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again.
Trenton waited, searching Scottie’s eyes, watching his expression as it softened.
“Okay,” Scottie said, finally. “I guess that’s all I really needed to know.”
Scottie took a step toward the door, but his eyes never left Trenton’s. Trenton could tell that Scottie was waiting for him to figure out what to do next, was waiting for a sign or a signal, just like Trenton had been waiting.
This was the moment of truth.
He could stay quiet and let Scottie walk out that door. He could go back to living his quiet, solitary, lonely life without worrying about letting anyone else in.
Or he could do something different. Something that he already knew he wanted to do.
Trenton had just spent the last few minutes telling Scottie how he felt.
But now—right now, this instant—he was being given a chance to show it.
“Wait, Scottie,” Trenton said, taking a step closer as he reached out for Scottie’s arm. “Don’t go yet. Please.”
Scottie didn’t say anything, but he didn’t pull away, either.
Trenton still didn’t have the right words to describe everything he was feeling, but that didn’t matter right now.
Take this opportunity.
Show him.
“I just…” Trenton swallowed hard. “I wanted to…”
Fuck it. Fuck words. Fuck explaining.
He needed this.
Trenton reached up and let his fingers lightly trail along Scottie’s jaw, then over his bottom lip as Scottie sucked in a ragged breath. Finally, Trenton’s fingers traced a line down to the base of Scottie’s throat, to that delicate spot where Trenton could actually see his pulse fluttering wildly.
He leaned in as Scottie tilted his head up, and as soon as their lips met again, Trenton knew he had made the right decision.
It simply felt too good to be wrong.
He placed both hands around Scottie’s waist and pulled him closer, kissing him hungrily, insistently, as Scottie melted against him.
This was what he had wanted all along.
Trenton savored everything about the moment—the soft touch of Scottie’s lips against his own, the sweet taste as their tongues met, the feel of Scottie’s body pressed against him.
And this time, when the kiss was done, Trenton didn’t feel that scary rush of anxiety or fear. He still wasn’t sure exactly what his feelings were or how to describe them, but he wasn’t scared anymore.
Not of Scottie, anyway. Not of this.
“Thank you,” Trenton said, backing away just enough to look into Scottie’s eyes. “Thank you for coming over here today and helping me see what an idiot I’ve been.”
Scottie grinned. “I do what I can. I hope that… that we can see each other again. That we can maybe do this again. But maybe without any of the drama next time, okay?”
It was Trenton’s turn to smile now. “I’d like that. I really would. Maybe a movie? And dinner—but my treat this time?”
“That sounds great.” Scottie nodded. “Call me?”
“I will,” Trenton said, meaning it. “And Scottie?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you again for understanding.” Trenton shook his head. “I don’t know how you’re so patient, but I appreciate it more than you know.”
Scottie sighed and gave Trenton an understanding smile. “It’s a process, right? We all have to go through it at some time. This is your time.”
Trenton nodded. Scottie’s words resonated with him.
It was so true.
This was his time.