Anger and Envy

Anger and Envy
Paulina moved towards the free door, but Simon hurried to block her way and hold her by the shoulders.
"Please, just listen to me. Let me explain how everything happened," he pleaded, surprising Perez by adding, "If you never want to speak to me again or look at me after this, I swear I'll comply with your request."
Feeling her throat burn and her eyes tear up, Paulina wiped her eyes with the back of her fingers and nodded, unable to speak. Deep down, she wished she could forget everything and go back to Simon, but what would happen after this breach of trust? What if she continued to fantasize about a nonexistent love, as she had done with Nathaniel? She had been doing it just minutes before, searching for a justification to be with Simon. After all, she had also found evidence of Simon's love for Iolanda and had soon discovered it was all a figment of her imagination. Now she was doing it for her own benefit.
"It wasn't intentional," Simon justified. His fingers went up her female shoulders, delighting in the soft skin. "I was drunk when I made the suggestion."
"And does that excuse what happened afterwards?" Paulina asked, forcing herself not to succumb to the light caresses on her neck. "Of making me believe that I was the one to blame for his infidelity?"
"Let me finish," he requested, approaching a little closer and inhaling the feminine perfume. "That same day, I saw Nathaniel kissing Cherry," he recounted, making a point to highlight that Nathaniel had cheated on her before the incident. "Gabriel demanded that I didn't tell you and insisted that the three of us go out for drinks and talk. When I heard Nathaniel complaining about not being able to be with her because he was engaged to you, I felt so much anger and envy that I told him to have sex with Cherry," he explained, sliding his hands back onto Perez's shoulders, the tone of his voice and his grip not hiding his lingering indignation.
"Anger and envy? About what?"
"About him," he replied, rising again, taking advantage of the fact that she didn't push away his touch to caress her feminine face. "Your image was still engraved in my mind, trying on your wedding dress, and while he lamented, all I could think about was how much I wished I was the man who would wait for you at the altar, carry you to bed, undress you, and make love to you for the rest of our lives."
"You... wanted to spend the rest of your life with me?" Paulina's heart echoed in her ears at the declaration.
"I want," he corrected gently. "I always have."
He leaned in to kiss her, but Paulina pulled back her lips. She wanted to kiss him, badly, but she still needed more explanations.
"Is that why you agreed to teach me how to seduce?"
Simon let out a deep sigh. He was tired of talking, but if that was what she needed to come back into his life, he would open his heart and let her decide what to do with it.
"At first, I wanted to show you how empty your relationship with Nathaniel was. But when we kissed, when I felt you in my arms..." He trailed off, sliding his thumb over her plump lip. "I wanted you to fall in love with me," he confessed, watching her reaction closely. Paulina stared at him with wide eyes, and Simon feared she didn't believe him. He needed her to believe him. "Over time, I did everything I could to make that happen. I won't deny that I manipulated situations in my favor, but that was after we got involved."
"What situations did you manipulate?"
Simon looked away uncomfortably, his chest aching with unbearable pain at the thought of losing Paulina. He could live without her love, he had done so for years, but after all that time together, he couldn't bear the thought of losing her presence. He wanted to at least save their friendship, their trust, their companionship. It wasn't perfect, it was a fresh start. The decision made him look at her firmly. He would have to bet everything to win.
"It wasn't by chance that Guilherme and my mother found out about us. I saw Guilherme watching us when I parked, so I called you back to kiss you. And my mother was in the hallway when I left your room. I came back knowing she would come in next. I wanted to make our engagement real, to come out of the shadows, to be able to show the world that I was finally with you," he recounted, watching Perez's reaction. Paulina remained silent, not seeming angry, but Simon still feared what she would do when his confession was over. "That's why I can't and won't apologize. Because, even though it was wrong, I don't regret it, and if I could go back in time, I would do everything exactly the same way."
Recalling how upset she had been and how she had complained in both situations, he waited for her anger, maybe a slap, or simply for Perez to leave, demanding that he forget her. But she continued to stare at him in silence. He wasn't sure if it was a good sign or not.
Paulina's heart couldn't take so much emotion anymore, but she needed an answer to one more question.
"Simon, the committed woman you love... Who is she?"
"When you asked me that last time, I thought you knew, so I got annoyed when you offered to help me win her over," he said, caressing her face. "Because it was obvious that I was failing to make you, Paulina Perez, the only woman that - no matter what happens - I will always love, fall in love with me."
Paulina acted on emotion as she wrapped her arms around Simon's neck and pressed her lips to his. A deep sound of pleasure vibrated from Simon's mouth to hers. One strong hand pulled her by the waist and another held her chin, tilting her head to deepen the scorching kiss.
Both didn't want to end the kiss, but the need for air forced Simon to pull away, his tongue sliding over his own lips, tasting her, while his eyes fixated on the pink, moist, and swollen lips that he desired so much.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Paulina asked after catching her breath.
"Out of fear of forcing a situation that would end up pushing you away from me," he confessed, hugging her tightly and distributing kisses on her perfumed skin.
"Is that why you had issues with my relationship with Nathaniel?"
He nodded, planting a quick kiss on her plump lips.
"I was so angry when I defended Nathaniel. Not at you or him, but at myself, for being unable to win your love, for losing you to someone who didn't even value you properly."
"You disguised your hatred for me well."
"That's why I apologize. In our adolescence, I realized that I was treating you wrong, and I wanted to make it right, but it was too late. You started dating the idiot Nathaniel..." he took a deep breath and lowered his tone. "At that time, I realized that I was madly in love with you, and every smile and touch he gave you, no matter how small, hurt like a stab. It made me angry, blind with hatred because he had what I loved most: you," he whispered into her ear.