Chapter 45 Chapter 45
Carter
I descended the stairs, adjusting my shirt and taking a deep breath to compose myself. Tessa's mother, stood in the kitchen, unpacking groceries.
"Hey," I said, forcing a smile. "How was your day?"
She turned, eyeing me with concern. "You're sweating. Are you okay?" she asked worriedly. How did I forget she'd catch on to something. I have to come up with a better way to play it cool.
I chuckled, trying to play it off. "Just did some exercises inside. Getting a little rusty, I guess." I lied.
She nodded, accepting the explanation. "Well, I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. I was thinking of making something special for dinner tonight, since it's just us."
My gut twisted with guilt. I had just been with Tessa, and now Mila was being kind and considerate, unaware of my betrayal.
"That sounds wonderful, Thank you," I said, trying to sound sincere.
She smiled, her eyes sparkling. "I want to make sure you feel at home here. You've been so good to us, especially Tessa."
I felt a pang of conscience, knowing I didn't deserve her gratitude. Tessa's face flashed in my mind, her eyes blazing with passion.
I don't want that to distract me when Mila is standing there. She smiled at me sweetly before directing her gaze back to what she was doing. My eyes were drilled on her every move. I felt compelled to tell her Tessa was around, but how would I even do that? I felt guilty about it all. I cleared my throat, gaining her attention. She turned to me with a questioning look, and I took a step closer.
"Tessa is home," I revealed. Her gaze trailed toward the stairs, as if she suspected something, before returning to me.
"Okay," she said, her gaze spinning furious. I knew she wasn't happy with the situation. She resumed what she was doing. I didn't know how to address the situation, knowing I wasn't in a position to advise either of them due to my shameful behavior. Still, I couldn't bear the thought of the two being cold toward each other.
What could I say to make them return to their previous dynamic? I understood Tessa was a grown adult needing to explore and enjoy her youth, while her mother wanted a better life for her. However, Tessa didn't grasp her mother's perspective. If only she knew how hard her mother was trying to be a better mother, she wouldn't have dismissed her advice. I am no saint either. I knew what I was doing was wrong and forbidden but I couldn't help it. I am so immersed in the pleasure I am getting.
It would be hard for me to look back. Would I be able to stop it? I don't think so. There are lots of things that I'm feeling that I can't control. A lot that will break me. Maybe completely.
Despite recognizing this, I was taking advantage of Mila's kindness. Should I blame myself? I didn't know. I never forced Tessa into anything, and it was clear she enjoyed every moment.
"Why are you so quiet?" Mila's voice interrupted my thoughts, and I masked my concern with a smile.
"Tessa is back," slipped from my lips before I remembered I'd already informed her.
"Yes, I know, you just told me," she replied, and I nodded, feeling ashamed.
Mila didn't seem happy about Tessa's return, as if she wished Tessa would stay away longer. I knew her anger fueled this sentiment.
"You need to look happy, Mila. Remember, she's your daughter, and you can't push her away forever," I said, attempting to sound casual despite my guilt.
"I am happy. Who says I'm not?" she retorted, returning her focus to her task.
I moved closer, longing to comfort her, but guilt held me back.
"I know you're angry, but you must forgive her. You two should reconcile and move forward. I miss having a harmonious home with you both. This tension is suffocating me," I explained, and she responded with a silent nod.
I knew I wasn't in a position to advise her or discuss her daughter, but what could I do? I couldn't keep watching the rift between them grow.
"Mila please be gentle with Tessa. You know she has only you," I uttered, and she turned to me. Our eyes locked, and a pang of guilt hit me like a stone. I wondered how she'd react the day she finds out about her daughter and me.
She cares for me genuinely, ready to stand by me until our last day together, and all I could do was betray her with her daughter. It would be hard on her, wouldn't it?
"Thank you," she smiled sweetly, and I swallowed hard. "Thanks for being a caring husband and a considerate stepdad, you're all I could ask for." Her words made me question if I truly deserved them.
"Can I ask a question?" My voice boomed, and she nodded, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.
"Is there anything I could do to make you stop loving me?" The question caught her off guard, and she scowled.
"Huh?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Is there anything I would do to make you stop loving me?" I repeated the question, aware of its strangeness, but I needed to know.
"Nothing," she replied, shocking me to the core.
"Nothing?" I repeated, seeking confirmation, and she nodded.
"Yes, nothing. I can't think of anything right now," she repeated, but I sensed the unspoken truth behind her words.
Is that even possible? There must be something I could do to make her stop loving me.
"I love you, and I don't think there's anything that will make me stop loving you," she said again, and I felt uneasy.
"Don't lie to me, I know you love me, but there must be something you wouldn't want me to do," I pressed further.
Her gaze turned serious. "That would be you messing with my daughter." Her words froze me.