Cara's pov
Luca was nowhere to be found when I woke up. His side of the bed was still warm and I knew it wasn't long ago he left my apartment.
My heart dropped in disappointment. I had expected him to still be here when I got up so we could finally even out our long overdue conversation. I might be pushing it, but I had wanted him to stay for breakfast.
My cheeks heated at the mental image of Luca sitting in my tiny kitchen while he watched me prepare breakfast. We'd eat it before going back to my room for another kind of breakfast.
I released a groggy breath and pushed out of my bed. My legs staggered to the kitchen and I helped myself to a glass of water. Luca had been in my house, had stayed the entire night, yet I wasn't able to establish the boundaries I swore I would.
The realization came with a shitty feeling, a feeling that bothered and pinched at my side like a corset filled with jutting pins. I despised how I lost my bearings with Luca.
I was usually a very assertive woman when it came to my sexual relationships, my life might not be the most put together, but I prided myself on the clarity and surety that came alongside being sexually liberated. Lord knows it was one of my biggest life wins, taking my past into consideration. I had decided I wasn't going to be a vulnerable and scarred woman in bed and succeeded.
However, all of that seemed to be pointless now that Luca was in the picture, just one hot look from him and I was forgetting my name. These days it took less than a hot look. A simple thing like a smile was enough.
He was fast becoming my very own kryptonite.
I finished up the remaining water in my glass and dropped the glass on the countertop with more force than usual. I really needed to draw clear lines with him, stop thinking with my vagina and enforce those f u c k i n g boundaries. Nothing good can come out of f u c king with a made man, I knew that… but yet…
Boundaries. Boundaries…
A sickening thought that I wouldn't be able to do that clawed up my chest and I forced it down.
"Have you forgotten who you are?" I said to myself, my spine straightened. "You're Cara Torello and you eat boys for lunch."
With those convincing reminders, I flipped my hair and strutted back to my room to prepare for the day.
***
"What do you think?" Gina asked, her hands clasped in front of her in anticipation, dark brown eyes waiting earnestly for my validation.
I scanned the invitation card in my hand, flipping it around to get a good look at the back too. "It's perfect," I said, meaning every word.
The cream colored card was elegantly designed with shiny gold and silver details, the bold, cursive font matching the theme.
You're invited to the wedding of Gina Salvatore and Dante Fierro.
I glanced back at Gina, touched that she brought the invite to me personally. She had shown up at my door like an excited puppy, not bothering with a greeting as she immediately pulled it out and yelled "ta da!"
I smiled at her, Dante was lucky to have such a cutie. She was the first person I felt oddly protective of and it was a refreshing feeling. "I love that you insisted on having it done to your tastes."
Gina rolled her eyes hard. "Tell me about it, Amanda literally tried her hardest to interfere with the design." She sat up on the couch. "I mean, why do I have to let her choose every single detail? It's my wedding."
I fought to hide my smile. The imposing stepmother lore Gina occasionally provided, entertained me more than it should and she didn't like it. She wanted me to be as outraged as her. What she didn't know was when you grew up with a woman like my mother, it gets exhausting to stand up to her for every single thing.
"Just the other day, I learned she changed the flower order from red peonies to white lilies. Can you believe that?"
She had no idea how well I could.
She swatted a lock of her hair in indignation. "Red peonies are my favorite flowers and I don't even like lilies but she said my favorite flowers were brazen."
I shook my head. Of course my mother would say something like that. I'm sure she followed up by saying that the red peonies were my influence.
Gina was still on her rant. "I told her that the lilies were boring and lackluster and she went into full drama mode, crying about how I've been acting weird since I started hanging out with you."
Ditto.
She scoffed. "Does that even make any sense?"
I spent the next hour validating Gina and when she finally left I was completely exhausted from saying "that's crazy" and "how could she?"
But now I was back to being alone, I was bored. So bored it felt like I was going crazy. Unable to take it anymore, I grabbed my purse and headed out the door, off for some window shopping and grocery shopping fusion.
The supermarket wasn't that far from where I lived so it was a trekkable journey. I sauntered along the curb, taking in the familiar sight of the city. The weather was breezy and perfect and I was glad to be outside.
The supermarket was emptier than usual when I got there which was a plus for a slow, unhurried shopper like me. I liked to browse about, taking my time to make decisions on what flavor of whipped cream to choose without strangers clogging up the aisles and darting past me. I hated having to be quick because I'd end up buying something I don't like.
I was getting potatoes when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and my eyes grew twice their size and the notification I got.
Luca sent me a text. I unlocked my phone the next instant and my entire body warmed at what was the most mundane text ever.
Where are you?
I dropped my basket before my hands flew over my keyboard. You can ask the men you ordered to stalk me and they'd tell you.
The typing bubble appeared immediately.
I couldn't believe it, Luca Salvatore was actually texting me. I bit my lips, anxious and nervous and excited all at once.
They did already but I asked to find out if you'd lie to me.
He was a dirty liar. I knew it was just an excuse to text me. A silly excuse at that. Luca was a bad online conversation starter just like I knew he was.
I didn't even know how wide I was grinning when I responded. I'm in my hot neighbor's house, enjoying all the attention he's giving me since someone left me all alone in my bed.
Does your hot neighbor have a death wish?
My smile threatened to slit my face into two.
I know you're at the supermarket Cara.
Then why did you ask?
He began to type but stopped and I stood there waiting in growing alarm like a fool. Just when I was convinced he was never going to send in a reply, a chat bubble popped up.
Because I was thinking about you. I missed you.
My heart stopped for a moment and my lungs seized then the two organs went into overdrive. I stared blankly at the latest message, unable to stop the pulsing beats rattling in my ribcage.
I couldn't even do anything when he sent in another text, and another. I was completely immobilized by the previous one.
Are you still there?
Cara?
Don't tell me I stunned you into silence.
It was right there, in the middle of the fruits and vegetables aisle, that I realized I didn't want Luca to be anything but the cruel assh0le I knew him to be.
I didn't think I could survive it if he continued being nice and bizarrely romantic like he's been since last night.
My heart just couldn't.