Chapter 87 87
Lois
My thoughts were a chaos. Guilt, fear, desperation—all of it tangled in my head, leaving me unable to think clearly.
Aidan was in danger; I knew it, I felt it in every fiber of my being. I had tried to stay calm, to find a solution, but the truth was I couldn’t. There was no way to ignore what was happening, and every minute that passed without doing anything filled me with more anguish.
I stood up abruptly, unable to bear the feeling of helplessness a second longer. Emmanuel and Ezequiel entered the room at the same moment, as if they had sensed my desperation through the bond we shared.
“We don’t know how this will end,” I said, breaking the silence that had hung over us like a dark cloud. The words hurt my throat, but I needed to say them.
Emmanuel came to me, and when he took my hand, the contact gave me a spark of comfort—brief though it was.
“There’s a clear solution to these problems, Emma,” I murmured, feeling tears threatening to spill. “I… I know you won’t like it, I know you won’t even consider it, and that will be your biggest mistake, but I have to say it. I’m the problem! I’m the problem!” The words tumbled out, each one heavy with pain. “Reject me. Make a deal with your father. As the future Alpha, you can negotiate for Aidan—to bring him back here, where he belongs. With his collar, he’ll stay integrated and can go on with the life he’s always had. Those… those creatures are strangers to him; he doesn’t belong there, and I can’t convince myself otherwise.” My voice shook.
“Has something happened to him?” Ezequiel asked. “Tell me—has something happened?”
“Yes! Of course things are happening to him. I don’t know exactly what, but he’s in a place he doesn’t know, surrounded by vampires. Vampires, Ezequiel! The same one who nearly pierced his chest and killed him. I… I don’t want him to die,” I said, feeling desperation choke me.
“I’m not going to reject you,” Emmanuel replied, with a calm that seemed to fracture with every word.
“If you won’t, I have a second plan,” I said, knowing what I was about to propose would shatter him inside, but I saw no other way out. “I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but…”
Tears began to fall, rolling down my cheeks, and Ezequiel—with that gentleness only he possessed—came closer and cupped my face in his hands. He kissed me tenderly, as if trying to erase all my pain with the gesture.
“You are not a burden. You are not a weight. You are not a nuisance. And you are our mate! Isn’t that enough for you to believe in us?” he said, his voice full of desperation. “Why do I feel you so… negative? What’s going through your head? What is this plan? Tell me! Because if it involves removing yourself from our lives, it’s a plan we will never accept.”
Ezequiel’s words pierced every barrier I had built in my mind. I felt the connection with both of them grow strong again, despite my attempt to keep them out of my thoughts.
“You shut me out of your head?” Ezequiel asked, his tone laced with sadness that made me feel guilty.
“She’s been like this all day,” Emmanuel said, turning his back to us, as if he couldn’t bear to see me in that state. “She thinks everything is her fault—that she has to fix it, that she has to… die.”
It was true. More and more, I was convincing myself that I was the problem. If I weren’t in their lives, everything would be easier for them. Emmanuel, with his Alpha destiny. Ezequiel, with his unbreakable strength… and Aidan, trapped in a world he didn’t belong to.
“It’s true—a good way out would be for me to accept my position, but there won’t be good terms, and my father has no mercy. If Ezequiel is disposable to him… you are even more so, Lois. And if they already know Aidan is a vampire, now they only see him as an enemy,” Emmanuel’s voice carried resignation, deep sadness. “I’ve thought about so many things, but I can’t find a way out. Do you think I haven’t reached the cold, logical place you’re in right now, Lois? But I already told you—they won’t separate us again.”
The pain in his words struck me full force. I knew he was willing to do anything to keep us together, but that only made my guilt grow.
“This world of ours doesn’t accept what we have,” I said. “This world, with its rules, tears us apart. Maybe it’s not our fault, but this is where we live, and we have to respect it. Run? To where? The road has ended. There’s nowhere left to go.”
I couldn’t bear it anymore. I knew the decision was in their hands, but I didn’t want to be the cause of their suffering.
“Lois…”
“I think if you decide, it will be easier to get a good deal with your father, Emmanuel. I don’t know him, but I want to believe he would rather we were apart than destroyed—dead, or worse. The decision is yours. I’m just an obstacle in all this, but I can see the way out,” I said, my voice thick with sadness I couldn’t hide. I walked to Emmanuel and hugged him from behind, trying to pour all my love into him—even if it meant giving him up.
Ezequiel came closer, wrapping his arms around us both, pressing a kiss to my neck.
“We have to separate,” I said, my heart breaking. “If they still don’t know Aidan is my mate too, you could get your father to do something. Please. I’ll go back to my pack. You two to yours. From your position, you can do things. But here we can only run—and there’s nowhere left to go. We have nowhere left.”
The silence that followed was crushing. I knew I was proposing the impossible, but I saw no other way to protect them, to save us all—even if it meant sacrificing the only thing that mattered to me in the world: them.
(…)
EMMANUEL
The pressure in my chest was unbearable. I felt as if my heart would burst from the anguish, from the helplessness. I had heard every word from Lois, had felt every doubt, every fear tearing through her. And though she tried to stay strong, I knew she was crumbling inside. How had everything come to this?
I, her mate, her protector—how had I let things spiral so out of control?
The weight of the decision I had to make crushed me. I had to choose between loyalty to my pack, to my father, and the life I had chosen with Lois and Ezequiel—even Aidan, who was now part of us. A life that now seemed to be falling apart before my eyes, and I could do nothing to stop it. The responsibility of being Alpha had always been something I accepted, something I had prepared to shoulder—but now… now I felt unprepared for anything.
Lois. She was right there beside me, but I no longer felt her the same way. It was as if her presence were shrouded in a fog of uncertainty, of fear. I knew she was considering things I couldn’t bear—ideas of leaving me, of sacrificing herself. And that tore me apart inside.
Why wasn’t I there when they took Aidan? Why couldn’t I protect him? That thought tormented me. He, who was now bound to us, who—though I wouldn’t say it aloud—was part of our bond. They had ripped him away, and I had done nothing. Lois was filled with uncertainty, with fear, and the worst part was knowing part of it was my fault. I hadn’t been there to protect her—to protect any of them.
I felt useless. The title of Alpha, the responsibility it carried, had always given me purpose, a reason to fight. But now that same responsibility was destroying me. If I accept my father’s terms, I lose Lois. I lose everything. How can I even consider that option?
But if I keep fighting… if I keep fighting, I could doom us all. Lois could suffer consequences I can’t bear to imagine. And the thought of being unable to protect her, of failing her that way, consumes me. What kind of Alpha would I be if I let something happen to her—if I couldn’t even protect my own mate?
I’m trapped in a dilemma with no way out. It would be selfish to keep fighting, to cling to Lois, to this bond, when everything points to surrender as the safest path. But the idea of losing her… of losing Ezequiel, of losing everything we’ve built together… it kills me. We only just got him back, and now it feels we’ll lose it all again—forever.
How can I even think of living without them? Lois is the reason I fight, the reason I breathe. Giving her up would be giving up myself. But if I don’t, everything will end badly. I know it; I feel it in every fiber of my being.
I close my eyes and breathe deeply, but the air feels heavy, as if the weight of my responsibility is crushing my chest. My father… I know what he expects of me. I know that if I accept the Alpha position, I will have to accept his conditions. And one of those conditions will inevitably be giving up Lois. He doesn’t see her as I do; he doesn’t understand what she means to me. To him, she is just an omega—someone replaceable. But to me…
I can’t do it.
I am the future Alpha, and with that title come decisions I cannot evade, responsibilities I cannot ignore.
What can I do? What should I do?
I feel torn in two, unable to find a way out. I want to protect them, to keep them safe, but every path I see leads to ruin. If I choose Lois, I lose everything else. If I choose the pack, I lose Lois.
And I can’t… I can’t bear the thought of losing her.
My hands clench into fists, frustration bubbling inside me, threatening to explode. I want to scream, to hit something—anything—to release this rage, this helplessness. But I know it won’t solve anything. I know that in the end, the decision is mine, and no matter what I choose, someone will be hurt.
Because no matter what I do, I will lose something I can never get back.
Every thought leads me back to the same dark place: the certainty that the moment I return, my father will find me a new mate. A future Luna for the pack—someone who can stand beside me, strong, worthy of bearing heirs who can carry the power of our bloodline. Someone who is not Lois.
I think of Lois—of everything we’ve shared, of how her mere presence has shaped my life to the point that I decided to give up everything rather than lose her—the same decision that has brought us here.
And now, the mere possibility of breaking that bond, of severing our connection, destroys me. Rejecting Lois is not just a rational choice to appease my father; it is a betrayal of everything I am, everything I feel.
How can I even consider it? If I do, I know the pain will be unbearable for Lois. It’s not just about feelings; it’s deeper—something that would destroy her. The thought of inflicting that kind of suffering on her tears me apart. I know that if I reject her, Lois will feel it like a wound that never heals—as if I tore a piece of her soul away.
And the worst part is that I know she wouldn’t survive it. She might live, but she wouldn’t be the same. The Lois I know, the Lois I love, would vanish—replaced by someone broken, someone who would never be whole again. And I… I would be the one responsible.
How can I do that to her? How can I be the cause of her destruction? The very idea paralyzes me. I’ve always been strong, always known what to do—but now… now I feel lost, unsure which path to take.
The bond we share is not something that can simply be replaced, like a contract that can be canceled and renewed with someone else. It is part of me—part of who I am.
And yet, with all that, the decision is one. And it is already made.
It’s decided. I will make a deal with my father. I will try to get as much as I can—for all of us, for Lois, for us. But deep down, I know it’s an act of desperation—a concession to something I don’t want to accept. I can’t see another way out, and it’s killing me inside.
Ezequiel approaches, his eyes fixed on me with a mix of disbelief and sadness. He doesn’t need to speak for me to know what he’s thinking, what he feels.
“You’re going to do it,” he finally whispers, voice thick with pain, as if saying the words tears him apart. “You’re going to reject Lois.” His voice trembles with the grief we both share.
The weight of those words hangs over me like a sentence. It’s something I didn’t want to hear, something I didn’t want to admit—but here we are, facing this inescapable reality.
Ezequiel turns his back to me, unable to hold my gaze. His steps are slow, heavy—as if each one is a struggle to keep himself together.
“Do you think I want this?” My voice rises in a choked shout, full of frustration and contained rage.
“I don’t know!” Ezequiel replies, turning, turning his head slightly toward me, his voice echoing my own desperation. “I only know I can’t do anything.”
And there it is—the raw truth. We are both trapped in this, both feeling that this is the end. No matter what we do, what we decide, there seems no way out that doesn’t end in pain and loss. The helplessness I feel is overwhelming, like drowning in a sea of uncertainty and fear.
We both feel the same: the inability to protect what we have with Lois. The frustration of not being able to give her something better, of not being able to show her that she is not just an omega—that she is so much more. Lois is our mate, our strength, and yet the only path before us seems to be giving her up.
“How can we tell her how much we love her if the only way out we find is to give her up?” My voice breaks, thick with bitterness and hopelessness. “How can we justify our actions when we know what we’re doing is betraying her—betraying ourselves?”
The silence between us becomes unbearable. The words we don’t say echo in the air, full of guilt and regret. It is a silence that says everything—revealing the true emotions we’ve tried to hide beneath layers of rationality and hard choices.
Ezequiel finally turns, and in his eyes I see the reflection of my own pain. This is the end; we know it. What was once our strength is now crumbling, and all that remains is this sense of imminent loss.
“We can’t go on like this,” Ezequiel says, his voice barely a whisper.
I nod, because I know he’s right. We can’t keep running. We can’t keep pretending we can fight the inevitable. But the pain of knowing we’re about to lose everything—of losing Lois—is more than I can bear.
“I’ll try… I’ll try to get the best for her—for us,” I say, though I know my words are empty—a promise I can’t keep, because I don’t know how far my father will be willing to bend.
Ezequiel doesn’t reply; he only nods, knowing it’s all we can do at this point.
“I’ll see him at dawn,” I say. We both walk toward Lois, but I feel I can’t look her in the eyes.