Chapter 50 Complicated
"It’s more complicated than that," Klaus said, taking a step toward me.
"Is it?" I stepped back, my heels hitting the military cot. "You sat there. You held me while I coughed up ink. You watched me take the poison out of your veins so you could breathe again. And all the while, you were planning to kill my people?"
"Nerissa, listen to me—"
"I saved you!" I screamed. The force of it made me cough, a racking, agonizing spasm that brought me to my knees. Black bile splattered onto the floorboards, but I didn't care. I looked up at him through the haze of pain. "I chose you. I chose the monster over my own life. And you betrayed me."
Klaus was at my side in an instant, his hands reaching for my shoulders. "I didn't choose the target! The Emperor drafted the orders centuries ago. I am just the hand that executes them."
"Then you are a coward!" I shoved his hands away. My skin felt like it was on fire where he touched me. "You’re a high lord. You’re the Grand Admiral. You could stop them. You could turn the ships around."
"And then what?" Klaus roared. He stood up, towering over me, his shadow stretching across the map of my dying home. "If I defy him, he executes me. He executes you. And then he sends Vespera’s father to lead the fleet. He would be twice as cruel and half as efficient. At least with me in command, there is a chance for survivors."
"Survivors in a cage?" I rasped, pulling myself up by the edge of the desk. "Survivors for the jars?"
I grabbed the map, my fingers tearing the parchment. I wanted to shred it. I wanted to erase the red lines.
"Give me that," Klaus commanded, reaching for the paper.
"No!"
I lunged at him. I didn't have a weapon, but I had the fury of a dying world in my blood. I scratched at his face, my nails catching the skin of his cheek. I wanted to see him bleed. I wanted to see if his blood was still red, or if I’d left enough black in him to match the ocean.
Klaus didn't strike back. He grabbed my wrists, pinning them to my sides. He used his weight to shove me back against the stone wall, his chest heaving against mine.
"Stop it!" he hissed.
"I hate you," I whispered, the tears finally breaking through. They were hot, heavy, and I knew they would be pearls before they hit the floor. "I wish I had let you drown. I wish I had let the rot take every bit of you."
Klaus froze. His grip on my wrists tightened until it was bruising. He looked at me, his face inches from mine. I could see the scratch I’d left on his cheek—a thin, red line that was already starting to heal.
"I know," he whispered. His voice was broken, a jagged rasp. "I wish you had, too."
He didn't pull away. He stayed there, pinning me to the wall, his heartbeat thudding against my ribs. I could smell the ozone on his skin, the scent that used to mean safety. Now it just smelled like the air before a massacre.
"You're going to the Rift," I said, my voice hollow. "You're leaving tonight."
"The fleet sails at midnight," he said.
"Then take me with you."
Klaus pulled back, his eyes narrowing. "No. It’s a war zone. You're too weak."
"I'm the Voice of the Empire," I said, leaning my head against the cold stone. "The Emperor wants me to be an asset. Let me speak to them. Let me tell my father to surrender so you don't have to kill everyone."
"Surrender is a death sentence in this Empire, Nerissa," Klaus said.
"And what is this?" I gestured to the room, the tower, the black lines on my arms. "I’m already dead. Take me home, Klaus. Let me see the water one last time before you turn it black."
Klaus looked at the map, then back to me. He reached out, his hand trembling as he touched the black pearl veil I was still wearing. He tucked a stray midnight-blue lock behind my ear.
"You'll hate me forever if I take you there," he said.
"I already hate you," I lied.
The silence stretched between us, heavy with the things we couldn't say. Outside, the sound of the marching boots reached a crescendo. The iron gates of the Citadel were grinding open.
"Get your cloak," Klaus said. His voice was cold again, the General returning to the front. "We leave in ten minutes. If the Emperor asks, you are there to provide 'moral suppression'."
"I'm there to see what you are," I said.
Klaus didn't answer. He turned and walked to the door, calling for Rook to prepare the carriage.
I stood in the spartan room, looking at the torn map on the desk. A single, black pearl had fallen from my eye and landed right on the Southern Rift. It looked like a grave marker.
I walked to my room and grabbed the heavy velvet cloak. I didn't look at Sulla. I didn't look at the shell on the desk.
I followed the monster down to the ships.
The air at the docks was thick with the smell of tar and coal smoke. Hundreds of iron-hulled ships sat in the water, their black sails unfurled like the wings of giant bats. Thousands of vampire soldiers in silver armor stood in formation, their red eyes glowing in the dark.
Klaus led me to the flagship—the Obsidian Star. It was a monstrosity of iron and bone, a cathedral of war built to survive the crushing depths.
As I stepped onto the deck, the wood felt wrong under my feet. It was too dry. Too solid.
I looked out at the horizon. The smog of the city gave way to a vast, dark expanse of water. The Sapphire Sea.
My home.
Klaus stood at the prow, his hand on the railing. He didn't look back at me. He stared out at the dark water, his silhouette sharp against the rising moon.
He was the Grand Admiral. He was the man who was going to drown my world.