Chapter 58

Chapter 58

Matilda's POV

The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Kerena's unreasonable tantrum and baseless accusations had made me lose my head. Maybe I really should have listened to Kerena and not trusted Wellington so easily.

But everything that happened tonight made it impossible for me to connect the Wellington I'd seen with the devil she described. Some reckless impulse made me want to refute her absurd theory that Wellington was some cold-blooded revenge maniac, to prove he wasn't like that, to prove I hadn't said anything inappropriate to Wellington out of some ulterior motive.

But how could I just blurt it out like that? My second loss of control with Wellington should have been my deepest secret, the most forbidden topic that should never be broached!

Kerena's shouting suddenly stopped. Her pupils dilated sharply as she stared at me, her lips trembling. She took two steps back until her back hit the wall.

"You... what did you just say?" She pointed at me in disbelief. "Are you serious? When did this happen?"

I was dying of regret inside. But words once spoken were like water spilled—impossible to take back. I closed my eyes and nodded reluctantly. "It's true. The night we were kidnapped by Caspian. After we got back."

Kerena's face instantly turned ugly. The next second, she lunged at me. "Matilda!" Her hands grabbed my collar in a death grip. "Did he remember who you were when he woke up? Are you sure he actually remembered, and wasn't just trying to trick you? Why didn't you deny it? As long as you denied it, as long as you refused to admit it, how could he be certain? Why did you throw yourself at him? Did you do it on purpose? Have you been trying to get close to him all along?"

"Kerena, let go..." I was being strangled until my vision went dark, gasping for air, only able to explain in fragments. "There was no way to hide it... He came to my apartment, asked me detailed questions about the kidnapping... That night we were locked in a separate room together. When he went in, he had no idea we'd been drugged! Everything happened so suddenly. Later he had a high fever and passed out. I couldn't not call a doctor... How was I supposed to deny it?"

"Excuses! All excuses!" Not only did Kerena not let go, she became even more agitated. "If you wanted to hide it, to deny it, there were plenty of ways! You could have said you didn't remember either. You could have said it was someone else. You could have said it was all Caspian's trap! It's you! You had a guilty conscience. You wanted to use the opportunity to latch onto him! Matilda, I was so wrong about you! You kept saying I was your best friend, but behind my back you were pulling this kind of dirty trick! You've wanted to get close to him all along, haven't you?"

I stared at Kerena in shock. What was she saying?

In that instant, all the grievances I'd been holding in, the anger, the doubts about her contradictory statements—it all finally crushed my rationality. I used all my strength to violently knock away her hands gripping my collar. "Kerena! Put your hand on your heart and ask yourself! Why would I want to get close to Mr. Learmond? You made him sound so terrifying before—I was too busy avoiding him. How would I dare? Now you're turning it around on me, saying I did it on purpose? Then you tell me—are you really afraid I'll get hurt, or are you afraid something might actually happen between him and me?"

Kerena was stunned by my outburst. Her expression froze for a moment, and I clearly saw something like guilt flash across her face. But suddenly, she let out a cold laugh. "Matilda, have you no shame? Slandering me again and again, throwing dirt on me! I was clearly trying to protect you, afraid you'd be deceived and hurt by that terrible man! You're the one who didn't listen to my warnings, who insisted on getting close to him! Now look—you've slept with him, something's happened, and you want to push the responsibility onto me? Are you blaming me for not warning you? Or are you blaming me for not throwing myself into his bed in your place?"

I was shaking all over with anger at her twisted version of events, tears stubbornly welling up again. "I didn't! Kerena, it was all an accident! We were set up! I never thought to blame you! But what about you? How much of what you told me was actually true?"

I stared into her eyes, enunciating each word. "You said Wellington arranged for you to move out of the apartment, that bodyguards were watching you. But why did Uma and the others say that Wellington probably didn't even know you were living in the same building as him? If you were really so afraid of him, trying to avoid him, why would you live in the same building? What really happened with your move?"

The color drained completely from Kerena's face. Her lips moved several times, but no sound came out. She avoided my gaze, her eyes darting around, her fingers twisting the ties of her robe tightly.

After a long while, Kerena finally seemed to find her voice again. "I... everything I did had a reason."

She looked up at me again. "Matilda, everything I've done has been for your own good. You don't understand now, but someday you will."

She paused, then suddenly gave me a cold smile. "Besides, what right do you have to question me? When I was kidnapped because of Wellington, violated by Caspian's men, lying in the hospital in agony—what was my dear friend doing? You were sleeping with a man! Matilda, what kind of friend does that make you?"

The moment those words left her mouth, most of my anger was instantly extinguished. I opened my mouth, wanting to explain that I'd had no choice that night either, wanting to tell her that I was filled with pain and guilt too.

But when her resentment-filled eyes bore into mine, all my explanations seemed so pale and powerless.

"From now on, we're not friends anymore." Kerena coldly dropped that line, turned around, and stormed out of the room without looking back.

Hearing the violent slam of the door, I remained frozen in place for a long time. My ankle was throbbing with pain, but my heart felt ice-cold, and tears silently poured out. I covered my face, finally unable to suppress my muffled sobs.

I didn't know why things had turned out this way. The Kerena who had once extended a helping hand in my darkest moments, who had stayed with me through countless difficult days and nights—why had she become so unfamiliar, so frightening?

Of all the things she'd said, which were true and which were lies? What kind of person was Wellington really? Was what he'd shown me his truest self?

And why did my life feel like it was being pushed forward by some invisible hand, completely beyond my control? Of everything I'd seen and heard, what was actually real?