Chapter 1 - Sylvia’s POV

The sky’s darkening, and the sun’s setting from a distance. Some buildings start turning their lights on. I can clearly see the ad displayed on the LED billboard from my window. Its bright display contrasts from the darkening sky backdrop. Everyone’s day is almost ending yet here I am, my back still stuck my bed and looking at the ceiling. I clutch my cellphone on my chest. Every time I swipe it open to read and re-read the same message he sent almost a month ago, my tears still cannot help but roll down my cheeks in an endless waterworks.

How long have I been this way? I don’t know. I refused to leave my room and if was possible to not eat, I wouldn’t. It’s still difficult for me to come to terms with my reality. Everything seems surreal. It’s still beyond my imagination that a person’s world could crumble in a blink of an eye. It’s like an asteroid smashed my world. I did not see it coming. I was blissfully attending to our wedding preparations, then…. Bam! His text message came in and brought me my apocalypse.

Jared: Via, I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. I realized I am not ready for marriage, for a lifetime commitment. I’m sorry, please forgive me.

Yes, he broke up with me through a text message. A few keystrokes from his smartphone ended our three-year relationship. Don’t I at least deserve a call or a Facetime even? Shit, is that all I am and all we’ve shared amount to? He reduced all the time and love I gave him to a hundred and thirty-two characters, including spaces. He crushed my universe in a single text message.

Did I really suck so much as a girlfriend? I have been asking myself these questions since the day I received his text. Fuck, we were no ordinary girlfriend and boyfriend. We were engaged, for crying out loud. We were a couple for three years. He introduced me to his friends and his family. He bent down on one knee and popped me the question, ring and all. Fuck, we’re weeks away from sharing a surname, and he ended it with JUST a text message. How is that right?

I still cannot get over it. I called him and texted him despite knowing he has turned off his device or changed numbers. When I couldn’t get through him, I tried his friends and family, but they too could not get in touch with him. They, like me, are shocked and flabbergasted with what he has done.

My fingers have almost lost their prints from the messages I’ve sent him. All I want is an answer to my question, my only question: Why? Did I do anything wrong? What was wrong? Was I not enough? I begged him to see me, talk to me, and return to me. But all those questions fell into a bottomless abyss.

I finally got the infamous Jared Castro cold shoulder. He could really be an asshole if he wanted to. In my case, he won the Asshole of the Year Award. He deserved it.

So yeah, he left me undone just like that. And the icing on the cake? He left me with the responsibility of facing wedding suppliers. I don’t know where I got the strength to face them to let them know there will be no wedding. I apologized, haggled, and begged for refunds or, if possible, to no longer pay for our balance. That was only the easy round.

The challenging part was making the personal call to families and friends. I racked my brain to find the right words to say. How does one say to their friends and families that the happily ever after they wished us has fizzled out? I consoled people when I needed consoling, too.

But that’s only the beginning. After they’ve recovered from their shock, a string of questions would follow—their endless whys and what happeneds.

Why? I don’t know. That was my biggest question too. Only Mr. Asshole of the Year has the answer, but he’s missing in action. Argh, how I hated him!

And the boss round was talking to my parents. I got countless “I told you so”s from them when I told them what happened. They did not approve of him for me right from the start. My parents were intuitive people. Both are excellent judges of character. So, no matter how many and how expensive his gifts were, Jared never got their approval, especially my Mom’s.

They told me countless times Jared was self-absorbed and entitled. Jared, they said, loved no one but himself. They warned me if I were to continue my relationship with him, I’ll only end up hurt.

My father told me to breakup with him when I introduced him to them. Of course, I did not listen and disobeyed them. What could I do? I loved him.

I did not know how to face them. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed for disobeying them. And yes, their assessment of him was correct. Had I listened, this would not have happened. They did not say the words; their eyes said it all. I’d given them another disappointment.

Every time I want to prove to them I made the right choice, the universe slaps me with the painful truth about how right they were and how wrong I was. I hated seeing the disappointed look in their eyes, especially my mom’s. All my life, all I wanted to do was please them and make them proud. By the looks of it, it seems like it’s far from happening.

To relieve my stress, I sold everything that I could sell. The wedding gown I would no longer use, the wedding rings, the engagement ring, and a slew of wedding-related items I didn’t know existed six months ago. Everything except for the Malta trip.

So here I am, my eyes trained on my laptop’s screen and surfing the Malta Tourism page. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been on this site.

“Whether you’re a history buff, a night owl, an adrenaline junkie, or simply a rambler wishing to be bowled over by natural splendor, the list of things to do in Malta is endless.

Whatever you’re looking for on a holiday, with so much to see and do, a trip to the Maltese Islands is an unmissable experience for any type of traveler.”

“What about traveling to heal a broken heart?” I murmur as I browse through the pictures in their gallery. Malta’s turquoise beaches and renaissance architecture never fail to make my heart feel giddy. This is my only reminder that, yes, I am still alive. I cannot help but sigh as I click through the images in the gallery. We were supposed to have our honeymoon here, had not the Asshole of the Year called off our wedding.

I’ve always wanted to visit the tiny island. Two weeks of sun and sand is a small compensation for all the heartache and trouble I got from our breakup. So yeah, it’s the vacation I deserved.

Yes, I know it’s a honeymoon package. I do not give a shit. I am beyond caring about other people’s opinions. Nothing will stop me from having that vacation. Not even getting jilted can stop me. Who says I can’t use a honeymoon package on my lonesome? All I want is to get away from all the mess Jared Castro brought me. So yeah, solitary honeymoon vacation, if there’s such a thing, it is!

When my eyes got their fill of Malta’s picturesque views, I shifted to the shopping site. I add two bikinis and sunscreen to my cart before checking out. I will enjoy this vacation to the fullest. From all the trouble and heartaches I got, I know I deserved this vacation and so do the bikinis I added. Plus, they are on sale. Fifty percent off.

“I deserve this!” I mutter to myself as I punch in my credit card information on the shopping site.

I also do not forget to visit a couple of company’s careers pages and apply to their open positions. My career is another aspect of my life that fell victim to Jared.

I had a promising career in the BPO world. Yes, a call center. I get fulfillment from the work that I do and the people I work with there. My boss was a great mentor who encouraged my development. Not to mention my charming pay and benefits package.

But being the egotist that Jared was, he insisted I quit my job because he could afford to support me. It did not sit well on his ego, that he, the high and mighty Jared Castro, had a girlfriend who clocked in and out for a company like any ordinary employee would. Like my mother, he hated I worked for the BPO industry. It’s a dead-end job, he said. After a series of fights, I let him have his way. I gave up the job that I loved because I valued our relationship more. I could not bear the thought of him leaving me. So, I gave up the career I loved because I loved him more. Biggest. Mistake. Ever.

His financial support ended with our relationship. It’s a no-brainer; I need to get a job now more than ever. My bank account is drying. My savings are on the brink of depletion.

Being unemployed for a year is a resume buster. I’ve sent my applications to several companies already, and I have yet to receive an interview invitation. I’ve been in the Business Process Outsourcing world since I was in college as a part-time employee. Name a post in the call center world, I probably have tried it—supervisor, trainer, Quality Analyst, Real Time Analyst, and so on. So, despite being out of a job for a year, it is not an option to accept an entry-level post, which is the quickest way to get a job. I know my skills and market value.

My eyes dart at the time on my screen. It’s almost eight in the evening. I sigh. I’ve reached my quota of stalking, online shopping, and surfing the net all day. So, what now, Sylvia Kate Yabut?