ROSALINE
My encounter with Gerald in the garden left a bitter taste in my mouth throughout the wedding ceremony, and for some reason, I could barely wait for it to end. The sight of all these jubilating individuals caused my stomach to turn.
I needed time to process the humiliation and to have a full conversation with him to know why he said those things and possibly explain to me that this was some expensive joke. That I wasn't just a mere replacement and he hadn't made the decision to marry me with a faint heart.
He must feel something for me, definitely. No man would get married without it being on his own accord!
The party ended, and it was finally time to head to his house- my new home. Gerald hadn't said a single word to me since our last encounter, which only made the situation more tense and discomforting. It was like our stories hung in the air, and we both tried to ignore the elephant in the room.
I mean, I did. I said my farewells to my parents and his, although his mother looked way too delighted to have me gone.
I absorbed everything, faking the strength that I didn't possess just to live past the day. That was all that mattered. At least we had tonight to ourselves; we could work this out.
"You should be able to find your way around the house," Gerald broke through the silence as he suddenly suggested, leading me to the Limo assigned to take us home
We were surrounded by a lot of guests and unsolicited noise, which made it even harder to hear him talk. I strained my ears. "Where are you-"
"I won't be going with you right now. I have some unfinished business," He cut me off, opening the car and ushering for me to go in.
I paused in my tracks and eyed him, scrunching my nose. "No, we didn't talk about this. Why would you assume I can find my way around in... a house that's not mine?"
He sighed, seeming frustrated, and it made my heart shatter. Why did he seem so passive? There was a crack in his personality, and the affection that I caught a glimpse of when he proposed to me seemed to have suddenly vanished into thin air.
I couldn't recognize him; maybe I never did. "Are you going to throw a fit, Rosa? There are a lot of people here, so why don't you go? The rooms are well-lit and ventilated, and it should be quite easy for you to find yours."
"Mine?" My eyes bulged. Were we going to have separate rooms? I threw him a confused look, proceeding to ask the question.
"No, we don't share," He quickly added, and his response hit my delicate heart like a bombshell, twisting and biting through it. "Get in."
Gerald's voice and actions were void of any romantic emotions, and it slowly dawned on me that this day was becoming a nightmare. I stuffed down my response and settled in the car, sparing him one last glance before the driver sped off.
We arrived at his home about an hour later. It was nothing short of my expectations, but I couldn't deny how horrible it felt to be walking into such a mansion in a wedding dress, alone.
The weight sank into my chest, and I suddenly felt heavy, dragging myself into the home with my heart leaped to my throat. There was a strong urge to break down and cry. I didn't do well with confusion and all the condescending remarks I'd been swallowed by.
Just as he'd said, it was easy to find my room- probably because he had a sign with my name in it up on the door. I scoffed, surprised at his level of pettiness even though Gerald hadn't occurred to me as someone with such a personality.
Everything unraveled at the most unfortunate pace than I'd rather have. I grabbed the doorknob and twisted it open, allowing myself into a minimalist-designed room. It wasn't bad, but it didn't look like much thought was put into the interior designing as well.
Like something chosen at the tip of one's fingers. Lost in thoughts, I struggled my way out of the dress and sat at the edge of the bed in my underwear, getting pulled into another abyss in my head as I replayed the scene from the garden.
I stroked the necklace while in thought, unable to differentiate my expectations from reality. My head throbbed like I took a hit, and I sprang up immediately, heading into the shower to wash off all the stress I'd choked on.
The tub was marvelous, just as I wanted, and the water running on my skin gave me a sense of home that I hadn't felt in a while. I submitted to it, letting the pitter-patter sound of water distract me from the turmoil that went on in my head, and I patiently waited for Gerald to come home.
He must have a way to make this marriage feel like a marriage. Soon, I was out of the shower, and I picked out a PJ from the wardrobe in my room. A noise came from downstairs, and I raced to see who it was. A part of me desperately wished it was Gerald.
I wasn't wrong. Or maybe I was.
No, on the second look, I wasn't. It was him, just a more unkempt and disorganized version. "Gerald?" I breathed as I watched him lean against the wall for support, looking frailer than I remembered him to be.
His tie was slacked and tangled from his neck while his first three buttons were undone. He didn't look too good. I moved closer to him, concerned.
"You..." He slurred and said nothing else. I caught the strong whiff of alcohol from his breath. The almighty Gerald was drunk?
It didn't quite sit right with me. This man had spoken nothing but elegance to me since the day I met him. Seeing him like this made my stomach flip. "Are you okay?"
"You..." He mentioned again, killing the distance between us and standing directly before me, scanning me.
Despite the fact that he wasn't sober, his influence over me wasn't waned at all. A whirlwind of emotions swelled within me while I struggled to keep up with his intensely burning gaze.
My toes tingled, and I pinched my hands, getting red in the face again. Gerald was incredibly close to me, and the thought of him closer made my skin burn with excitement. "Let's get you upstairs."
"I can handle myself..." He said to me, jerking his hand away from my grip. There was nothing I could say, or do than follow him behind slowly and hope he didn't trip over a step.
We arrived at the corridor, and he turned to his room, fumbling with the knob. I brushed past him and opened the door instead, leading him in with my hand gently placed on his back.
Gerald didn't struggle this time. He just let me, until we reached his bed, and he crashed onto it. What could have happened to cause a groom to drink this much at his wedding?
Was it me? I climbed the bed, scared. "Let me help you," I muttered and tried to turn him over so he slept on his back.
Gerald turned over with ease. I took advantage of his sleeping position and reached for his tie to undo it. There, I froze. Mindlessly, I had straddled Gerald, whose eyes were wide open, staring into mine.
I shuddered against his thighs, but for some reason, I wouldn't move away. I liked it, what it felt like to be on top of him. My heart pounded in my chest, synced with the ticking sound of the wall clock, and Gerald continued to stare at me ferally.
I saw the desire ignite in his eyes, and I wondered if he could see mine. Unexpectedly , Gerald scooted over, trapping me under him! I might have died a little more.
My body spasmed, aching with want, and the heat from our bodies being merged almost drove me to madness. Was he going to-
My head went blank as he leaned in. "I love you, Julie..." He muttered, and my anticipation crashed to the ground hard.
Julie?
My body got cold with fear, stiff, and I struggled from underneath him, detesting his touch, his face, his words! My heart swelled, and my head throbbed. I heard the sound of my own heart breaking. Once again, I was just a sad, pitiful child.
I ran out of his room and entered mine, slamming the door shut. My head was filled with the loudest of thoughts, vile screams of shame and sheer humiliation filled me as I sat at the edge of my bed, desperately waiting for the tears to fall.
My vision was cloudy as my sense of reason and reality was slipping through my grasp fast. His voice stuck to the back of my mind, laying heavy. The way he called her name, like it sucked all the air out of his lungs.
Like it killed him, on our wedding night?
What was I expecting from a man whom the love of his life had died, not to mention she was my sister? I'd been seated at the edge of my bed, rooted to a spot while I replayed the scenarios in my head. None of those moments meant anything to Gerald. I was the one making a big deal out of it.
He was drunk, and I was pathetic, and available. Sadness clawed at my chest with malicious intent, and I caved, bending over when the pain started to turn physical.
"You're... so stupid, Rosa," I mumbled in a broken voice. "So stupid. What did you expect?" I couldn't even sob. My emotions were hanging by a thin thread, and I found that I couldn't even express them if I wanted to.
I felt so stifled and miserable. With a swift move, I got off the bed and shuffled downstairs. Perhaps a cup of water would help, plus I needed the walk. I peered into Gerald's room, which was directly opposite mine, but there weren't any signs of light.
I tiptoed past the corridor because I didn't want to see him. I couldn't afford to. Flicking the light on, I made my way to the kitchen but stopped at the counter after catching a glimpse of a series of papers sprawled at the top of it.
It wasn't any of my business, but my curiosity got the best of me. If it was anything related to Gerald, then I should know about it. I reached for them and pulled them into earshot. My eyes scanned the title, and I found my greatest fear printed on paper.
MARRIAGE CONTRACT. It read. A marital merger between my father's company and Gerald's. My heart stopped for a moment, and the paper slipped out of my grip while I found myself on the floor, giving in to weak knees.
I was only here to replace Julie. This was their intention from the beginning. How could I not tell?!
"No, no way. It's- it's not true!" I shook my head profusely as tears streamed down my face in torrents. No way. My mind went blank, and I ran my hands through my hair, almost pulling it out.
This marriage was... a sham?
I felt as though I was on the verge of insanity. None of this was out of care for me, at all. "How could they do this to me!?" I wheezed, out of breath. "H-how?!"