Chapter 147: You Have My Heart

Chapter 147: You Have My Heart

Justin

We spent the next couple of hours fucking, the entire conversation with Carol made Donald very on edge and it was like he had to make sure Amelia knew she was the only woman for him and as it seemed her also made sure I knew I was his too. He left the bed not too long ago to make dinner and told me to stay put until he called. Amelia had been sandwiched in between us. We had definitely planned on going out for dinner but I don't think Donald was up for that.

I couldn't imagine how hard it was for him to see her again. I know he doesn't love her but she is the mother of his daughter even if she was a crappy one at that. I wanted to go console him a little but I didn't want to leave Amelia alone either so I waited until she woke up and her sexy little moans as she woke up made my dick stir even though I don't think I could actually perform after the fuck fest we had just had.

“Hey, baby.” I said, kissing her forehead.

She moaned a happy little response, draping her legs over my body. Her eyes opened suddenly as she noticed it was only me on the bed.

“Where is Donald?” She asked almost frantically.

“Cooking dinner,” I replied and she sat up, looking down at me.

“You think we should leave him alone?” She asked softly.

“Not, actually but I didn't want to leave you alone either.” She smiled, leaning down to kiss me.

“I am a big girl, I don't need to be cuddled every time someone says something hurtful to me. I would never be able to function if the two of you always swooped in to protect me.” She said, I didn't respond right away as I watched her get up and find some panties and a bra.

I sat up, leaning my head against the backboard and watched her. I know she is not a child but I also know that she has been emotionally abused before and never wanted her to feel triggered by anyone.

“You are everything to me, you and Donald are my world. Nothing and no one is going to change that but baby girl, you have been through some traumatic shit and even if you say you are a big girl and can handle your feels and emotions, what kind of man would I be if I didn't give you the emotional and physical protection you deserve even if you think you don't need it.” I watched her stop to look at me. I climbed out of the bed and walked over to her, cupping her neck in my hands.

“Please don't deny me this.” I dropped my hand and placed it over her chest.

“I love you too much to let someone else come in and break what was mine to protect.” I said and watched the tears pool in her eyes as she took in my words.

I know our relationship didn't start off as well as it should have, we were overcome with lust all the time and over the past few weeks, I have realized I haven't given her the emotional stability I know she needs even if she claims she was fine.

“You have my heart, Justin and you always have. I have forced myself to be so emotionally disconnected in fear of being hurt almost my entire life that letting you in is hard.” She mumbled.

“You need to say that to Donald, I honestly don't think he has been himself before the accident. He was so worried about you.” I said, wiping the tears that have slipped down her cheeks. I kissed her softly and then on each cheek. She pressed herself in closer and my dick decided to wake up and I placed my hands on her hips.

“Baby, you know you are incredibly sexy and fucking irresistible but right now is not the time.” She pouted at my words and I smiled softly.

“I know you have not been in a relationship that had more emotional connected than physical but if all we do is fuck each other and never talk, we will continue to always be walking on glass.” She drops her eyes and takes a step back.

“In my past relationships, everything there was a fight or disagreement, we seemed to just fix it with sex. We didn't talk or communicate.”

I sat on the bed and studied her, it didn't help but that was what we did with her in the past few months and I sighed.

“You were with a boy but now you are with grown ass men. Yes, we love sex but sex will always just he sex if there is no emotional connection.” I say carefully, she bite her bottom lip, a serious expression on her face.

“Talk to me, babe. You have my full undivided attention.” I said.

She began to pace, her eyes flicking to me occasionally. There was a long gap of silence as she collected her thoughts and she finally stopped. She turned to face me.

“There is something about the beginning of our relationship that made me become a little closed off. I felt like I was more of a sexual addiction rather than someone you really wanted to spend your life with.” She started and my face fell but I tried my best to school my emotions and not bud in until she finished.

“I know deep down it is not true but up until the car accident, I felt that way. Then the accident, the way the two of you protected me even though both of you have so much more to live for than I do but you willingly risked your life to protect me. I knew for a fact you both loved me without a doubt but then in the hospital, I felt guilty that Donald protected me knowing his daughter is the most important person and for him to recklessly risk his life for me was eating at me.” She started to choke up, tears sliding down her face. She wiped at them, I saw movement behind her and realized Donald had come upstairs and was listening quietly at the door.

“I know he would have still done it but it hurt to know how torn up about it he was. Not because I wanted him to be proud of saving me but because he could have died and Emily would be all alone. He had every right to be guilty about his decision and then Emily asked if I was going to be her mother and it broke my heart. She was such an amazing girl and she deserves a mother but I don't know if I am stable enough to be. I have had such fucked past, I didn't even have a mother so how would I know how to be one? How do I know Donald would even want me to be one to his daughter?” She paused again and my heart hurt at her words.

This is what happens when we don't communicate with each other. How long would she have let these feelings go faster? Unless she ran away again? She seemed to be done so I began.

“Firstly, babe. No matter how hard it is to talk about what you are feeling, there is no way we can continue this relationship if you hide your feelings from us. If it is just a sexual relationship you want with us, it is not going to work out because Donald and I love you so much.” I paused, my eyes flickered to his. I could see the tears filling his eyes from across the room. She was still unaware he was there.

“But we want this relationship to work, we want you to be a mother to our children. I don't know how to be a father because mine was never present in my life but I know it is something I can learn and I know all new parents deal with that learning curve. I am sure Donald did and we will be together.” I paused and stood up, walking over to her.

“Secondly, baby. I never liked Donald more than you or vice versa. You two came into my life at the same time and stole my heart at the same time. Donald and I may be extremely touchy with each other because we have physical touch personalities but baby girl, there is no loving one of you more than another. I love you both so fucking much, I am sorry if you have ever felt like an afterthought.” I told her pulling her into my arms and my eyes met Donald's and I saw the pure concern on his face.

I know it was time for him to have a talk with her so I pulled back and looked down at her.

“Talk to Donald, baby and figure out what it was that is keeping you from him, this awkwardness needs to go away. We are a family and we really need to start acting that way.” I said and she nodded reluctantly.

“I will keep an eye on the food while you both talk.” I said, kissing her softly on the cheek before going to my closet and pulling on some sweats and leaving the room.

I prayed this approach worked because I honestly didn't know what else to do.