Chapter 10

Jen walked down the hallway, forcing herself to put her feelings for Charles away. He’d been a good man, a lovely man who pined for the day he’d have the nerve to go to a club, and she’d been lucky to have him.

She guessed today was that day.

Maybe she’d see him at Boots ’n’ Chains. She wouldn’t show she knew him, of course—it was a standing rule at HP when a client moved on, they weren’t to openly acknowledge knowing him if they met him or her in a social setting—but she’d be glad to see him happy and secure in his own skin.

Jen opened the apartment door and headed straight for the kitchen, feeling the familiar ache in her muscles.

The emotional crash after a session wasn’t a new thing for her, but this was much stronger, the combination of losing Charles and Nathan’s confession creating an internal roller coaster ride for her.

The harsh truth was she wasn’t heartbroken over losing Charles. It was almost as if she’d taken a step back from him, away from him during the past few weeks.

Jen wondered if it’d shown during her visits and if that was why he’d canceled their arrangement. Maybe her feelings for Nathan had come out, influencing her time with Charles. She was glad he’d found the strength to move on but at the back of her mind a niggling worry started—she’d pushed him out of the nest too soon because of her feelings.

The truth was she wanted to be with Nathan, loved being with Nathan, and he loved being with her.

The question was if she wanted to take it to the next level.

Was she ready to make more of a commitment? Was he? Just because he’d said so wasn’t a promise—and she’d seen and experienced many such statements while people were recovering, coming out of subspace.

She couldn’t hold him to it.

But there had to be something to it, and if she could build on that—

Jen dropped the pink backpack on the floor and began to set up the coffee machine.

Energy drinks might be fine for recuperation but there was nothing like a good cup of strong coffee. She had a small meal waiting in the refrigerator, fish and chips from a local fry shop that got the crispy batter just right.

Working nights had given her the usual problems with rushing to eat breakfast. To her stomach it was late in the day even after her appointment with Nathan.

Eggs and bacon seemed wrong.

Fish and chips sounded perfect.

She put the two pieces of fish and french fries on a plate and slipped it into the microwave, then set the timer. A flick of a switch turned on her coffee machine, and Jen left to unpack her toys and get changed, the routine helping to settle her thoughts.

It was sometimes a concentrated effort to leave a client and get back to her apartment, to settle herself down and deal with the desires and needs churned up during a visit.

Tonight the best recovery was a good strong cuppa and a good meal.

The coffee was ready when she stepped out of the shower, the thick, lovely scent drifting through the apartment. She liked her coffee like her men—strong and delicious.

The microwave beeped for attention, signaling the rest of her meal was ready.

Jen pulled down her largest mug and filled it. She added a dash of milk to the coffee and plated up the fish and chips with a squirt of ketchup on the side for dipping. A few steps brought her into the living room and the soft comfy couch she adored.

She swept the magazines on the coffee table to one side to make room for the plate and mug, focusing on the stone coasters. They’d been a present from her mother, and the full set of four rotated through the living room on various side tables. The Native Canadian images were supposed to be some spirit animals, but years of soaking up excess liquid had turned them into weak ghosts of the original images.

As her meal cooled, Jen picked up her remote control and clicked through the television stations. It was early in the day, and she’d try to stay up as late as she could to keep her schedule going.

Sunday night was her shift off from work, but she didn’t want to break her routine by going to bed no matter how tired she might be after her sessions with Nathan. Best to stay up as she would regularly and then go to sleep, waking up on time to spend her night with whatever movies or television series she could stream directly from her computer.

Jen lifted her mug to her mouth to drink.

The local noon news was finishing up.

The anchorman talked about the weather, the traffic, the crime blotter—

She almost jumped off the sofa.

The hot liquid sloshed over the ceramic edge and dripped onto her cream-colored robe as she stared at the screen.

The news report was short and simple, the reporter droning over the still images of Charles Litten, prominent Toronto business lawyer, who had been mugged last night. The images were horrifying enough; the fact she knew him sent her stomach into convulsions.

Charles.

Her Charles.

He lay in the hospital bed and tried to smile at the camera capturing every moment of his agony, failing horribly.

The list of injuries was short but powerful.

Concussion.

A black eye to go with his broken nose.

His broken left arm sat in a cast, fingers sticking out on the hospital sheets.

No suspects at this time.

As the news anchor skipped to the next report, Jen put the mug down before she dropped it, the strength gone from her hands.

She shook her head in disbelief, trying to match up the injured man on the phone with the sweet, gentle one she’d seen only a few days ago.

How horrible. I hope he’s better soon.

Jen sighed and finished off her meal, noting the news had changed to a cooking competition show. The variations on a grilled cheese sandwich diminished to a low murmuring as she replayed recent events in her mind, focusing in on Charles.

The timing was odd. Charles canceled his contract within a few hours of his being assaulted.

Coincidence or—

She carried the plate and mug into the kitchen. The coffee was still hot as she refreshed her mug.

It could be nothing.

Or it could be something very, very important.

You could call Wendy—

Jen pulled the milk from the refrigerator.

And how much do you tell her? About Nathan? About the two of you?

About—

Her mind began to spin sideways with the possibility she was somehow responsible for this.

Tanner’s ghost chuckled from the shadows of her mind.

Jen gripped the counter, refusing to give into her fear.

Let’s think this over.

Was the mugging an isolated incident, or had he gotten in over his head in some club? Had he thought he was ready to deal with another Domme and forgot his safe word?

This doesn’t involve you, her inner voice yelped. Once he canceled his contract, it was all over. You’re not allowed to contact him.

Bullshit, she snapped back. He might have cut you loose, but you were friends, good friends for almost a year. Charles doesn’t owe you an explanation for going his own way, but there’s nothing wrong with being concerned for his wellbeing. Nothing wrong with at least making contact and letting him know you’re worried and sending good wishes for a fast recovery.

Especially if it could be your fault.

She felt nauseated.

Could it be—

She shook her head in an attempt to banish the thought.

It didn’t work.

The only way you’re going to know is if you talk to Charles. Get more details.

Find out what happened.

Jen walked back into the living room and sat down. She tugged at her robe, unsure what to do.

I can’t go see him in the hospital. It wouldn’t be right—I could trigger something even worse happening to him. Family, friends, who knows who could be there?

I can’t call Wendy. She’ll tell me not to go and they’ll handle it themselves.

If they even know he’s hurt… What if they don’t? Would someone at HP make the connection?

I have to make sure he’s okay.

I have to find out what’s going on.

A wisp of an idea crept into her mind, slowly evolving into a full-fledged thought.

She picked up the phone.

There was one other option.

She just wasn’t sure he’d agree to it.

He’d enjoyed his drink and his bath and now lay on his living room couch in his underwear, wanting nothing else than to relax with his mind filled with lazy, dozy memories of his session with Jennifer.

The phone rang.

Nathan plucked it off the side table and brought it up.

Caller ID blocked.

He smiled. He was in the right mood to deal with some silly telemarketer.

“Hello?”

“Nathan?”

The familiar voice on his phone snapped his calm relaxed world to pieces.

“What’s wrong?” He sat up, the hairs on the back of his neck standing straight. “Are you in trouble?”

“No. Yes. Not yet.” Jen sighed. “I couldn’t think of anyone else to call.”

It wasn’t the most comforting thing he’d ever heard but it’d have to do.

“What’s going on?” Nathan knew this was against the rules, so against the rules as to shatter them into a thousand pieces. He stood up and headed for his bedroom. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” The words helped calm him as he reached for his jeans. “But I need your help.”

“Okay.” Nathan tapped the speakerphone function and put the cell down as he continued to dress. “Talk to me.”

“I saw a news report about a lawyer. Charles Litten. Got mugged pretty badly and he’s in the hospital.”

Nathan tugged on a black sweatshirt. “Okay. Bad thing to have happen, but he’s alive, and that’s a good thing. Hospital’ll take good care of him. Is he a buddy of yours?”

“In a way.” The hesitation in her voice dragged the sentence out for days. “He’s one of mine. Like you.”

Nathan froze.

Like you.

Another submissive.

“He canceled his contract with HP a few hours ago. I got the call driving back here from your place.” Jen paused. “He told Tracy it didn’t have anything to do with me.”

The pangs of jealousy dug deep into his skin. “He’s a fool for leaving you. He’ll never find a better Domme.”

Jen chuckled, and he felt the claws start to lighten up. “You’re not an unbiased source for these things.”

“And that’s not a bad thing.” Nathan cleared his throat. “But that’s not the problem. You’re wondering if one has anything to do with the other,” he said. “The mugging and his canceling the contract on the same day.”

“Yes. I’m not a big fan of coincidences. I’d go to the hospital myself, but I don’t know if they’ll let me see him, not being family and all. And I don’t know what sort of mood he’ll be in if he sees me.” Jen drew a shallow breath. “I don’t want to ask you to do this, but you’re my only option.”

“You think it’s connected to Tanner?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “But I know I need to find out more.”

“I understand. I can’t blame you—it smells a bit fishy to me.” Nathan reached for his shoes. “I assume this isn’t approved by HP.”

“No,” she said softly. “I don’t want to call the office when it might well be nothing. I’m already over the line by asking you to go see him. But the only one who can tell us is Charles, and I can’t think of any other way to find out the truth.”

“In for a dime, in for a dollar.” He couldn’t help chuckling. “But we’re going to be snapping the contract in half no matter what happens.” He listened to the silence on the line for a long minute before continuing. “Because as soon as I tell Charlie I know you, that we know you, it’s going to break the contract all three of us signed. Confidentiality gone.”

“Damn it,” Jen said. “But…” She fell silent.

“This doesn’t have to be as bad as it looks.” Nathan walked back to the living room and sat down to finish tying his shoes. “It might be exactly what it seems with no connection between the two. I hate to say it, but muggings happen all the time. Nothing more than bad luck on Charlie’s part.” His cop’s instinct blared full volume that there was something horribly wrong here, but he couldn’t burden her with a guess based on his feelings.

“Let me go and see what I can dig up. My badge will get me a whole lot further than most people. I’ll…” He paused and looked at the phone display again.

“I wanted to say I’d call you back, but your number is blocked,” Nathan said.

“Company rules.” Jen let out a half-laugh. “You’re not supposed to know who I am outside of the basement, remember?”

“Then how about you call me back?” He spoke without thinking, his mind already on the forthcoming interview and how to handle it. “Give me three hours to get the info. I should be able to get to the hospital and back by then.”

She hesitated for only a few seconds. “Okay. Be careful.” The line went silent.

He reached for his leather jacket hanging on a peg by the door.

It might be a total coincidence.

But if it wasn’t…

St. Joseph’s was a landmark hospital in the downtown area. The old main building had sprouted almost a dozen branches over the decades it’d been in existence. Nathan knew it well from his rookie days when he drove by it on patrol and visited it at least once a week to deal with bar fights or domestic violence calls. The little bit of green lawn in the front had long been trampled under by commuters, the attempt at gentrifying the area an utter failure and now home to a growing crop of cigarette butts. Nathan drove on by without pausing, the small lot already filled with vehicles from emergency patients and staff.

He found another lot a block away, the attendant watching television on a small set inside the ill-insulated booth. Nathan tossed him a handful of two-dollar coins and stuck the small fluorescent orange square on his dashboard before walking back to the street.

The cold air bit through his leather jacket as Nathan made his way to the front sliding doors. A burst of heat escaped as he walked into the bustling emergency room.

It had only taken a few minutes to find the initial news report online. Another click sent him to a short bio. The stern face glaring out from the screen along with his glowing credentials for being a tough lawyer made for interesting reading.

Doesn’t look like a sub.

Neither do you, he reminded himself.

He made his way to the information desk.

“Charles Litten, please.”

He prepared to flash his badge if she balked at his request.

The redhead gave a weary nod, her attention returning to the computer monitor in front of her. “Room 405. Please sign in here.” She tapped the clipboard in front of her and slid a laminated visitor pass across the counter. “Keep it in sight at all times. Thank you.”

Nathan nodded and moved off down the hall toward the elevators.

Charles Litten had gotten himself a private room, one of the few on the entire floor.

Good health insurance, Nathan muttered under his breath as he knocked lightly and entered, not waiting for a reply. Probably handed out business cards while they were fixing him up.

The lawyer was sitting up and tapping on a tablet with his one good hand, the computer gadget resting on his blanket-covered lap.

He looked up at Nathan, weariness pulling his injured features down like a sad clown.

“Can I help you?”

Nathan showed his badge. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’ve got a few follow-up questions.”

Charles frowned. “I told everything I could remember to Detective Fairfield. The smack to my head didn’t help much.” He gestured with his injured left arm, the fresh cast still pristine. “I’m taking care of some business. As long as I can get a wireless connection, I’ve got work to do.” He laughed.

Nathan approached the bed. “A few more minutes, if you don’t mind.” He summoned his best official voice. “We were thinking this might be a personal attack, someone targeting you. Is there any chance of that?”

Charles tilted his head to one side and eyed him as best he could with one black eye. “And what would make you come to that conclusion? I know I’m a lawyer, but I deal in business law. Company mergers, bankruptcies and the like. Boring as hell, but it doesn’t generate a lot of hate mail.”

“I see,” Nathan said. “It’s an angle we’re exploring. Can you go through the incident again?”

“Nothing much to it. I was walking to my car after a night of drinking with my friends. Guy jumped me, took my wallet, phone and ran.” He shrugged. “I’ve already canceled the phone and my credit cards. Only had about a hundred in the wallet.”

“He stomped you pretty well.” Nathan gestured to the bandages. “Broken arm, concussion—put the boots to you.” He paused. “Seems pretty extreme for a mugging.”

“Yes,” Charles conceded. “But I fought back. Not enough to make a difference obviously but I had a few drinks in me and wasn’t exactly thinking straight. Probably made it worse by making the guy work for it.” He focused on Nathan with a stone-cold stare. “And I know this is way more attention than I should be getting for a random mugging. So what the hell is going on?”

Nathan stuck his hands in his jacket pockets and shrugged. “Just doing my job.”

“Bullshit. If you don’t explain yourself in thirty seconds I’m going to hit this call button and call security on you. You might be a cop, but this isn’t a regular visit.” The middle-aged man glared at him. “Explain yourself.”

Busted.

Nathan lowered his voice to a whisper. “Danielle.”

The single word shocked the lawyer into silence. He placed his tablet facedown on the nearby table. His expression didn’t change.

“Who?” The smooth response didn’t surprise Nathan. He was sure Charles Litten had plenty of experience keeping his emotions hidden.

The man would be a lethal poker player.

“You and I have a mutual friend. Danielle.” Nathan chose each word carefully, aware of the minefield he was walking through. “She’s worried about you.”

Charles smiled. “I have plenty of friends who are worried about me. I expect when I get back to my office, there’ll be plenty of get-well cards.”

“I expect so.” Nathan strolled around the bed to look out the window into the night sky. “She asked me to drop by and visit. She knows you’re not interested in seeing her anymore but wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He felt the lawyer’s eyes burning a hole in his back and knew what he was thinking.

Because Nathan was thinking the same thing.

Him? A submissive?

Danielle’s?

It was impossible for him to imagine the feisty lawyer on his knees submitting to her, yet—

Charles spoke first, breaking the détente. “I’m pleased she’s concerned, but I’m fine.” He cleared his throat. “Tell her I’ll always think of her fondly.”

Nathan studied the skyscrapers cutting through the sunlight. Silhouettes shot across the windows, a thousand ghosts racing around in a silent dance.

“You recently decided to stop seeing her.”

He didn’t phrase it as a question.

“Yes.” Charles swallowed loudly. “It was my decision.”

Nathan didn’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to hear the stress in the man’s voice. Charles Litten might be one hell of a poker player, but there were some things, some emotions you couldn’t keep under wraps.

“It’s always our decision.” Nathan turned to look at Charles. “We’re the ones in control.” He raised an eyebrow. “Except when it’s taken from us.”

Nathan hated this.

He’d seen enough of this in court.

Talking in circles was something lawyers loved to do, twisting words to mean whatever they wanted them to mean and what they needed them to mean to win their case.

He was a street cop who wanted to hear straight talk.

Charles pressed his lips into a tight line before speaking. “If it wasn’t my choice, then it was because I had a good reason.” He lifted his good hand to brush against his bandaged nose. “I am a man who listens to a good argument. I was convinced by the strength of his—” He paused long enough to get the message across. “His words.”

You were threatened.

Nathan itched to say it out loud but knew that would get him nowhere. He could appreciate the need for tact, but there was nothing like plain talk.

“This discussion. Did it mention her by name?”

“No. It was rather one-sided but presented in a rather forceful manner. It suggested I stop seeing, and I quote, ‘that blonde bitch’. He didn’t elaborate on anything else. As I said before—my workload doesn’t include angry divorces or anything that would engender such anger so I can’t see how it was business-related.” He pulled on the sheets. “I’m not dating anyone right now and haven’t been for over a year, so it was pretty easy to figure out who he was talking about.” His good hand brushed the bruised and swollen eye. “I didn’t ask how much he knew about Danielle, and he didn’t elaborate other than by hitting me.”

“So you made the phone call.”

“Yes.” Charles shook his head. “You might think I’m a coward, but I can’t take the chance. I can’t take the risk he knew what—who I was.”

Nathan knew exactly what he was talking about. He might be afraid of the other cops finding out he was a submissive but it had to be nothing compared to the terror Charles had worrying about the public and the other lawyers at his firm.

Nathan could hide in the blue uniform, blend in with the other police. There was no way to call him out while he was at work.

Charles would be a walking target for any and all types of discrimination. He made his money by his name, his expertise.

That would be gone in an instant.

The jokes, the harassment—he’d be finished as a lawyer.

“Do you plan to call the company owners? Let them know someone may be targeting her or others like you?” Nathan hated the word dance but knew there was no way he could say Hooded Pleasures out loud.

“I thought about it.” Charles plucked at the sheets. “But I don’t know if it’d be a good idea or not.” Charles gestured at the paper-thin walls. “He knew about me, knew about her, about us. Something that wasn’t supposed to happen.” His eyes narrowed. “He could be a disgruntled employee. Think about that for a second. Someone on the inside.”

Nathan jerked back in shock as he followed Charles’s logic.

Holy—

He hadn’t considered HP might be a part of this.

Someone with access to the files could build up an impressive blackmail list of clients, not to mention going after the employees who might not want their families and friends to know what they did in their spare time.

“Now you know why I haven’t done anything more than what I was told to do. My head’s spinning, and it’s not only because I got stomped.” Charles ran his hand over the sheets, smoothing out the wrinkles. “I guess I’m sort of glad you came over—it’s helping me figure this out.” He gave a weak smile. “If you’re here, then she’s not involved, she’s not a part of this. I don’t know who to trust, but I trust her, and if she trusts you, then so do I. I’m not sure about anyone else right now.”

Nathan’s heartbeat jumped for a second as he ran the scenarios through his mind.

A rogue employee beating up HP clients?

No.

It didn’t feel right.

Why beat up Charles and then walk away?

“I know you’re scared.” He moved to stand next to the bed, keeping his voice low. “But even you’ve got to admit that doesn’t make any sense. Blackmail would be the logical thing if it were a pissed-off employee. He didn’t make any demands other than you stop seeing her?”

“None,” Charles reaffirmed. He rubbed the back of his head with his good hand. “Now that I’m going over this with you it makes less sense, in a way.” He chuckled. “Guess that crack on my head was harder than I thought. It doesn’t work, does it?”

“It doesn’t,” Nathan repeated. “You know the background checks we go through. You think their employees get anything less? They wouldn’t risk it. Too much to lose. If anything, he would have tried to shake you down instead of telling you to quit. You quit her, you remove the reason for the blackmail. No point to it.”

Charles cocked his head to one side. His eyebrows rose as he slowly nodded his agreement.

“I know I should have explained it to the cops, to the company. But I was in shock and pain, and I was so scared. I just—” He pressed his lips into a tight line. “I just had to call and cancel. I couldn’t risk saying anything more, doing anything more right now.” He bunched up the sheets with his good hand. “No matter how much I might want one thing, I have to think of the bigger picture. What I can’t afford to lose.” He locked eyes with Nathan. “You know what I’m saying.”

“I know.” Nathan nodded. “I know,” He repeated.

The two of them stood there for a long minute.

Nathan cleared his throat. “There’s another possibility.” He chose each word carefully. “There’s a man out there who might have a grudge against our friend.”

Charles’ eyes widened. “And I got caught in the backwash.”

“Maybe,” Nathan said. “I can’t say yes, and I won’t say no.”

“So what do you think I should do?” Charles asked.

Silence surrounded them.