Chapter 14
The memory of Kate wrapping the leather cuffs around his wrists flashed in front of his eyes.
He was hard in an instant, the heat burning up his spine.
He closed his eyes and pushed the mental images back into a corner of his mind.
Kate.
Katherine.
He forced himself to look at his bar companion. “Thank you, but I have to decline your offer.” Alex shook his head. “You’re lovely, but there’s only one woman for me. I’m waiting for her.”
She smiled and took a sip of her drink. “No problem. I didn’t know you already had someone picked out.”
Alex chewed on his bottom lip, trying to find the words.
“Hey. It’s okay. I appreciate the kind words—she’s a lucky lady to have a sweetie like you. I’m not surprised you’re already spoken for.” Her attention wandered down the bar. “Have a good night, and welcome to the club. Excuse me.”
She slid off her stool and walked toward a pair of men, both with white wristbands.
Alex let his breath out slowly.
Tempting.
But it wasn’t going to happen.
“Hey.”
Alex looked up to see William staring at him, a slight frown on the bartender’s face.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” Alex raised the water bottle in a salute. “I’m fine. Thank you.”
The bald man leaned in, resting his forearms on the bar. “I’m asking because I just saw you pass up a luscious lady willing to take care of you. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t speak up, but you said you were waiting for someone. If you tell me who it is, I can make sure she finds you when she arrives.” William winked. “I can call Jackie at the front.”
“Ah—”
Here’s where it gets complicated, Alex thought.
“My Domme doesn’t know I’m here.”
William raised an eyebrow. “I don’t understand.”
“She doesn’t know I’m here because—” Alex cleared his throat. “She decided not to see me anymore. Canceled our last appointment.”
“Interesting phrasing.” William nodded. “I’m going to guess here—it was a paid relationship?”
Alex didn’t feel embarrassed at admitting it here, in this place. “Yes. I found her through a company that deals in this sort of—” He gestured at the images in the mirror. “Alternate lifestyle. She thinks she can’t be in love with me because it’s the experience I’m in love with. Not her. Not Kate. Katherine.”
He felt better and worse by saying her name. It made it more real and increased the pain.
“Hooded Pleasures,” William said.
Alex nodded.
“We get quite a few of them here.” He nodded at the dance floor. “Works both ways. Some members come here when they leave HP, and some go from here to work for HP.” He grinned. “The circle of life.”
Alex nodded.
“But back to your Domme. She thought you’d feel the same about any Domme.”
“Yes.” Alex cleared his throat. “I can see why she’d think that. So I went with another woman, another paid Dominatrix to verify what I felt in my heart, in my soul. She was nice, but she wasn’t Katherine.” He took a mouthful of water before continuing. “It was good, but I wasn’t in the zone, not as far as I went with Kate. As far as I’d like to go.” He exhaled, not caring how it felt. “It’s got to be with her. Only her.”
“Hmm. So let me get this straight.” William pulled an unopened water bottle from under the shelf. He popped the top off and took a swig. “You think you love her—”
“I know I love her,” Alex interrupted.
William chuckled. “Excuse my error. You know you love her. So what was her reaction when you didn’t mesh with the other woman, the fill-in?”
“She told me I needed a Domme. Any Domme.” Alex rubbed his forehead. “I’m not sure if she believes it herself. I know someone hurt her in the past, something happened to mess with her mind. She doesn’t believe she’s good enough for me.” He licked his lips, remembering the taste of her. “She’s more than I deserve.”
“Okay,” William said. “So what, if you don’t mind me asking, are you doing here without her and turning down offers?”
“I—” Alex felt his chest tighten as he worked the words out. “I want to prove to her it’s not the experience, it’s her. I’m in love with her whether or not she’s got me tied up or down or sideways. I’d be in love with her sitting on the couch reading a novel or seeing a movie or playing video games—” He paused, out of breath.
“Okay. Slow down.” William gestured with his hand. “I understand part of this. So you’re here to prove something to her or to yourself?”
Alex took another swig of water before answering. “To both of us. I’m going to sit here all night and deny myself.” The words dried his mouth up like he’d been drinking sand.
“Really?” The disbelief in William’s voice cut deep. “You’re going to do nothing but watch?”
“Yeah.” Alex watched the two women from farther down the bar saunter off toward one of the private rooms, holding hands. “I figure if I can keep from going with someone tonight, it shows it’s not all about the sex or the domination. It’s about the emotions, the needs of the heart over the needs of the body.” He tried not to imagine what the two women would be doing behind closed doors and failed miserably.
It was a concentrated effort to force his mind back on his chosen goal.
Fantasizing about the women wouldn’t make his task any easier.
“Interesting theory.” William emptied his bottle with two long draws. “Of course, you punishing yourself by not going off with a Domme might be seen as masochistic behavior. There’s plenty of people into that, but—”
“All I know is if I can resist tonight and every night I come here, it’ll prove to me and to her that I love her,” Alex said.
“Hold that thought. Back in a minute.” William put up his finger before trotting down the bar to answer to a blonde wearing a tight black leather jumpsuit.
Alex glanced over to see the woman he’d been chatting to earlier moving away from the safety area with two men in tow. He raised his water bottle in a quiet salute.
Godspeed, fellows.
Just don’t forget your safe-word.
William moved back in front of him. “Got Jenny to cover me for a bit.” He grinned. “This situation is something that requires all my attention.”
“I don’t need—” Alex stopped, seeing William’s wide smile.
He held up a hand, silencing Alex. “I’m a bartender. Whether it’s here or in some Irish pub down on King Street or some high-priced rave on Queen, it’s what I do. And what I do is help people, sometimes just by listening and helping out if and where I can. Tonight, I’m trying to help you.” He leaned in. “So let me ask you this. What makes you think she’s in love with you? If it was a paid relationship and all, how do you know she wasn’t pretending to like you?” William reached out of sight to bring up a fresh cold water bottle and swapped it with Alex’s half-empty drink. “I don’t mean to insult you or her, but maybe you misread her. Happens every night to a thousand people in a thousand bars. Signals get crossed and assumptions made leading to wrong impressions.”
“She, ah…” Alex blushed. “We kissed the last time we were together. It was off the clock, nothing to do with our regular appointment. I asked her first and then moved in. It was—” He spread his hands, unable to find the words.
He shifted on his stool, feeling his arousal grow. Just thinking about it was pushing him almost to the edge of no return.
Show some control, he berated himself silently. Control yourself.
William raised both eyebrows, and Alex knew what the bartender was thinking.
“She wasn’t faking it.” The confidence in his voice grew the more he spoke. “I’ve seen women fake it, and I know the difference.” He rubbed the bottle with both hands, keeping them busy. “It was just a kiss, but there was so much in it, so much passion, so much—” He sighed at the memory.
“Wow.” William nodded. “I hear you, buddy. Those don’t come along every day. Few and far between.” He pulled a cloth out and wiped the bar clean of the condensation from their water bottles before motioning at the crowd around them. “But how would she know of your evening of denial? She’s not here.” He shook his head. “This isn’t the only BDSM club in town.”
“No she’s not.” Alex took a sip of the fresh cold water. “Tomorrow, I’ll leave a message with HP to tell her what I’m doing. I’m not a client anymore, but I hope they’ll pass it on to her.”
“You hope?” William shook his head. “No offense, but I’m not sure I would. It’s sort of personal stuff. Plus, with you not paying them—”
“I don’t have any other way to reach her.” Alex ran his thumb along the cool plastic bottle edge. “I don’t have her phone number.” He felt the rough edges of the cap and pressed against them. “Although I could hunt it down if I wanted to. She’s given me enough crumbs that if I put my mind to it, I could find out everything about her.” He tapped his temple. “I’m a smart guy. With the right technology, I could easily find her address, her phone number and probably her entire work and educational history if I tried. But I won’t.”
William frowned.
Alex rolled his shoulders back. “I don’t want to invade her privacy, scare her by showing up at her front door like some bad stalker movie. She knows where I live; she knows my full name and has my phone number. I’m placing this all in her hands, in her control.” Alex gestured at the mirror showing various couples arriving and leaving, some going through the exit door and some headed for the private rooms. “I know something about communities, and the BDSM community is the same as any other.” He ticked off the points on his fingers.
“There’s a one in three chance I’m at the same club she’ll eventually visit and hear about me. If not, word will spread.” He saluted William with the water bottle. “Courtesy of people like yourself and the lovely lady I turned down. You tell two friends and so on and so on and so on. I’m sure after a few weeks, my reputation will get back to her, either through online chats or word-of-mouth. Gossip travels fast, and I don’t doubt my story will generate quite a bit of chatter. The sub who’s waiting for his one true love, his one true Domme.” He sipped his drink. “She’ll be curious. Who wouldn’t be? Maybe she’ll come in here; maybe she’ll go to some other club and ask around. She’ll find out it’s me sometime. And I’ll be here waiting for her.”
Alex scratched his knee in a vain attempt to quell the desire in his groin. He was rock-hard and aching for relief.
It was going to be a frustrating night.
“It could be a damned long wait,” William replied. “She might not find out about you for weeks, maybe months.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Saying it out loud helped firm his resolve. “I’ll be here. Here until I prove to her that I’m only hers. I love her, and there will be no one else for me. Ever.” He shifted his hips as the woman leading her sub on a chain walked by, headed for the other end of the bar. She sat on a stool while the man knelt at her feet, eyes down.
“Hold on.” William moved down the bar. He nodded at the Domme and passed her a small dog bowl and a bottle of water.
The Domme placed it on the floor and poured the water in. She nodded at the sub, who dipped his head down to lap up the water.
Alex heard someone sigh and realized it was himself.
It was going to be a long, long night.
Kate snarled and pushed herself away from the computer, her mind tangled up with thoughts of Alex. She’d spent hours killing orcs and the occasional dragon who had wandered into the kill zone. All in a vain attempt to try to clear her thoughts.
It hadn’t worked. All she could think of was the decision she had to make.
To go back to work for Hooded Pleasures or not.
Her leave was almost up, and she’d have to make up her mind.
She could go back to work as soon as tomorrow. Make a phone call and bump Danielle or whoever had slipped into her spot.
Mentally, she flipped through her calendar.
It was Rick’s turn. Nice guy who loved her toes. She could wear a pair of those high-heeled silver stilettos, slap some nail polish on her nails and send him over the edge by simply walking across his threshold.
Kate sighed. The anticipated thrill of being adored and worshipped wasn’t there. The job felt like a grind, a case of watching the clock until she could finish up and come on home.
She wasn’t looking forward to going out on visits. Not just to Rick, to any of her other clients.
It didn’t appeal to her at all. Whatever was going on in her mind and her heart had totally screwed her up as far as working as a Domme-for-hire went.
She couldn’t do this anymore. She couldn’t pretend Alex hadn’t affected her.
Kate lightly slapped her cheeks, trying to snap herself out of her ennui.
She went to the couch and sat down, torn between picking up the remote and grabbing the nearby sketchpad.
The sketchpad won out.
Kate chewed on the end of the pencil and spat out bits of eraser as she drew with sharp, quick strokes. One of her art teachers had recommended this type of mental therapy, letting her mind conjure up the image without consciously dwelling on it.
She’d come up with quite a few interesting pictures using this technique. A few of them had been salvageable and incorporated into future projects, but for the most part, they were easy, throw-away sketches that cleansed her mind and soul.
The pencil jabbed pointy ears onto the page, cut a jawline that could slice paper.
It took her only a few seconds to recognize the elf from the charity event, larger and in more depth.
The puckish grin, the sparkling eyes promising a good time, the laugh hidden behind the curved lips—
Kate tossed the pencil to one side. She ran her fingers over the soft pencil imprints, tracing his cheekbone, his lips…
Fuck.
Alex.
She’d drawn Alex, albeit in fantasy garb.
Kate dropped the sketchpad on the floor as if it were on fire.
She didn’t know what to do or how to even start fixing herself. Everything she’d done, everything she wanted to do, had slammed into her like a stone wall and she couldn’t stay still.
Maybe it was time for her to climb out of the pit she’d thrown herself into after Carl left.
She felt the pain in her chest and clutched her hand over it. Her fingers tangled in her shirt, pulling it into a knot in her hand.
No.
She’d lost the right to be anyone’s Domme after failing him. She hadn’t given him what he wanted, and he’d left.
But she couldn’t shut off that part of herself, the part of her called to be a Domme.
That was why she’d joined HP. Get the thrill without the commitment, the emotional attachment. Get in, get them close to the edge and get off on her own. She didn’t need any man in her life. She didn’t need to open herself to anyone ever again.
The phone rang.
Wendy.
She paused before picking up the call.
She’s calling to ask if I’m ready to come back to work or need more time.
She steeled herself to make a decision. It wasn’t fair to Tracy, Danielle and the others at Hooded Pleasures to leave them hanging.
Maybe another week would do it.
She tapped the button. “Hello?”
“Kate? It’s Wendy.”
She relaxed at the familiar voice. “Hey. I’m sorry ’bout taking so long off work, but—”
“Listen to me.” The tone left no room for interruption. “I’m down here at Boots ’n’ Chains. It’s new members’ night, if you remember how the scheduling works. You know I like to be part of the welcoming group, keep the drama down among the regulars.”
“Okay.” She tried to tamp down the panic building at hearing the club’s name.
“Alex is here.”
The words slapped her hard, rendering her silent for a second.
“Did you hear me?”
“I heard you. So what do you want me to do?” Kate asked, forcing confidence into her words. “He terminated his contract with Hooded Pleasures. He’s free to go where he wants.”
“I know that,” Wendy said. “Why do you think he’s here?”
“He’s looking for a Domme.” A flash of jealousy burned through Kate’s veins hard and fast before dying out. “I told him he wanted the whip more than the whipper, like we said. So he’s moved on from needing me, needing a paid Domme. Why are you calling me?”
“Because he’s already turned down one offer. I’m sitting here in a private booth and just watched him wave Andrea off.”
For a second, Kate thought she was going to faint. She clutched at the arm of the couch. “What?”
“You heard me. She came on over and told me about it. Seems he’s sitting here waiting for his Domme to show up. Andrea was quite heartbroken—she’d quite taken to him in the few minutes they talked.”
Kate tamped down the jealous pangs twisting her gut. “So he’s waiting for someone. How do you know it’s me?”
Wendy snorted. “Please. Don’t be insulting.”
“So he’s going to sit there and get blue balls.” It came out harsher than she’d expected, startling herself. “He’ll give in and go with someone after a few hours, get his fun and decide to get on with his life.”
“You sure about that?” Wendy said.
“I can’t come to the club. You know I can’t,” Kate answered, avoiding the question. “Does he know you’re there?”
Wendy snorted. “Of course not. I backed off as soon as I recognized him from the file picture. He just canceled his contract—I didn’t want to make it look like I was pressuring him.”
“I played by the rules.” The words sounded foolish even as she said them. “He formed an emotional attachment to me, and I broke it off. By the rules.” The repetition didn’t dull the growing pain in her heart.
“Kate, the rules are there to protect both of you. To keep the professional relationship exactly that, professional. But it doesn’t work if the feelings flow both ways.”
Kate looked at the sketchpad lying on the floor. “What do you mean?”
“I’m asking if you feel the same about Alex as he does about you. From what I’m seeing here, he’s definitely in love with you. So the question is, are you in love with him? And if you are, what are you going to do about it?”
“That’s not—” Kate couldn’t take her eyes off the penciled image of Alex. “I can’t—”
Wendy pressed on. “I know you gave up on the club because of Carl. I get your pain. But are you going to let Alex go through the same cycle because you don’t want to talk to him about this?”
“What? Why?” Kate stood up despite the growing nervousness in her gut.
“Because he’s going to end up getting into trouble the longer he sits here alone and waiting for you. At some point, he’s going to meet up with a Domme who’s either going to bully him into going with her or plain talk him into it, and he’s going to have the worst experience of his life. And I don’t think you want that.” Wendy sighed. “You don’t want Alex to be hurt, do you?”
“No.”
“Then come here and claim him as yours. Do what you should have done the minute you knew it was more than an assignment, Kate. Come get your man.”
He’d put it off as long as he could but after all that water, Alex had to pee urgently. A discreet question to William had him heading to a washroom, still within the yellow lines.
He slipped inside the room. It was a standard layout with no surprises other than the large ceramic bowl of condoms sitting by the sink.
Not surprising.
He allowed himself a childish smirk before tucking three into his pockets.
Just like a Scout. Be prepared.
He stopped, catching his reflection in the mirror. A scared, nervous man looked back at him, sweat beading on his forehead.
He twisted the tap, sending cold water spewing into the sink.
Alex cupped his hands and filled them before dunking his face. The cool liquid didn’t help dampen the desire simmering beneath the surface.
He was in a club. A BDSM club. Where everything and anything he wanted was just a question away. All he had to do was ask, and his deepest dreams and desires would be fulfilled.
And he wanted none of it.
Not without her.
An image of Kate flashed across his inner eye.
I’m waiting for you. Waiting for only you.
He did his business and made his way back to the barstool, wishing for telepathic powers. The club had started to fill up, but his seat remained empty.
Alex assumed part of it was due to William keeping it for him. The bartender had moved off, dealing with the growing demand as more members arrived, new ones like him wearing disposable wristbands, and others, veterans who wanted to see what the night would offer.
The bravado he’d shown William in announcing he’d stay at the bar for the entire night was beginning to fray as he saw more couples and threesomes wandering off, heading down the halls and disappearing behind closed doors.
And more than a few curious gazes landing on him, weighing him, checking him out.
Studying his wristbands.
Studying him.
A woman strolled by him. She stopped and frowned before spinning on outrageously high heels and turning back.
She stopped far inside his personal space, leaning in toward him.
“I’m Veronica.” The redhead offered her hand to Alex. “You’re new here.”
He shifted on the barstool, his body reacting automatically to her presence. The woman gave off dominance in waves, her black leather pants and matching corset only adding to his runaway imagination. Her red hair was cropped short off her shoulders and her eyes were a cool blue, trapping his attention.
He didn’t need to check her wrist to see what color she wore.
“Alex.” He shook hands with her, noting her strong grip.
“So what are you interested in?” She raked her eyes over him.
Alex resisted the urge to drop one hand into his lap, cover his crotch. It was as if she was already stripping him naked.
“Nothing tonight. Thank you for your offer.” He tried to sound nonchalant, as if he always hung out at a BDSM bar as a casual observer.
It failed.
She tapped his white wristband. “This tells me you’re looking for a Domme.” Her left eyebrow rose. “Or do you prefer men?” One edge of her mouth curled up in a smirk. “I can find you someone, if you’d like. If you don’t mind me watching.”
“I like women,” Alex said. “I’m a new member. My first time here.”
He felt like he had pebbles in his mouth.
“I understand that.” She ran a finger along his other wristband. “But you’re not seeing much of the club from here. Wouldn’t you like to go for a walk?”
Alex’s gaze darted to the yellow line on the floor, the imaginary fence keeping him safe and sound.
“I can take you past that,” Veronica purred. “Just say the word.” Her hand stroked the underside of his wrist. “Consider it a test run. Let me take you to the back room and show what options are open to you. With me.”
Alex couldn’t hold back the shiver running down his spine, the delicious thrill pooling in his groin.
Veronica caressed his skin with her long sharp nails, the red polish flaring in the dim lighting as if flames danced at the edges of her fingers.
Her touch ignited the invisible lines left by Kate’s cuffs, reminding him again of their last experience together.
Torn between desire and his promise to himself, he said nothing, letting his silence hopefully speak for him.
“I understand. It’s a little intimidating the first time here. Tell you what.” She pulled her hand back slowly, tugging on his index finger at the end. “I’ll find someone to occupy my time for a bit, let you finish your drink and get more comfortable with the club. When I’m done, I’ll come back and see what you’ve decided.” She studied him again. “I’d love to tear you down and build you back up again. I can promise you one hell of a night.”
Without waiting to hear his response, she strutted away.
Alex went back to his drink, needing something stronger than water. He gestured at William, who came down the bar to see him.
“Whiskey neat, please.”
William shook his head.
“The rules.” He placed a fresh water bottle in front of Alex. “Although I understand why you’d like a stiff drink.” He nodded at the retreating woman. “She’s a handful and a half. Wouldn’t advise breaking your vows for that one—you might not be tall enough to ride that ride, if you get what I mean.” William smiled. “Consider it free advice from your friendly bartender.”
“Thanks.” Alex turned to watch Veronica as the Domme strutted around the lounge, seeking out a companion.
Finally, she stopped and crooked her index finger at a man leaning against the wall, a young blond fellow wearing a white T-shirt and jeans. He had his arms crossed in front of him and looked slightly bored at the goings-on around him.
He saw Veronica’s movement and stepped forward with a wide smile. His hands went behind his back as he stopped in front of her, eyes downcast.
Veronica ran her hand along his chin and whispered something.
He nodded in response, staying silent.
She walked down one of the halls running off the main lounge with her newest acquisition in hand trotting behind her.
Alex grabbed at the fresh water bottle.
He had never been so thirsty.
Kate stared at the cell phone as Wendy cut the connection without waiting for an answer.
Damn it.
She glanced down at the sketchpad. The black-and-white Alex smiled at her.
They’ll tear him apart.
She ran into the bedroom and pulled the closet door open as she stripped, her mind running a mile a minute.
Okay, they won’t kill him. But he’s going to have a hell of a different experience with any of the women there than he had with me.
He better remember his safe-word.
She mouthed the phrase, reliving the emotional rush she’d had on hearing it from his lips that single time.
Kill switch.
Kate grabbed her clothing and focused on getting dressed, trying hard to avoid getting sucked into a memory well.
Carl—
Kate shook her head to banish the name, banish the man from her thoughts. She forced herself to think about the club to quell the growing panic twisting her insides.
Boots ’n’ Chains had been around for years, catering to the BDSM scene. They had strict rules about membership, and woe betide the man or woman who pushed Matthew, the owner, to his limits. He’d built the business from the ground up and made sure the club was well stocked, from the bar to the rooms.
The private rooms had everything.
Everything a good Domme needed to give her submissive the best experience. Spanking benches, St. Andrew’s crosses…
She couldn’t hold back a sigh as she remembered the almost limitless choice of toys. Whatever you wanted or wanted to try, they had it.
Kate stopped, remembering one lovely flogger she’d adored. Broken in with multiple uses and users, it was at that perfect point of worn leather—enough snap to keep stiff, and enough bend to wrap around a hot, sweaty body.
It was hell and gone from what she dragged from appointment to appointment in her duffle bag, the frayed leather almost worn out on some of her toys.
Alex—
She snatched up her cell phone and called a taxi. In this emotional state, there was no way she trusted herself enough to drive.
After placing her request, Kate turned her cell phone off and tossed it onto her bed. The club might allow them, but she didn’t want to take the chance anyone would call and disrupt what might be the most important night in her life.
She studied herself in the full-length mirror before reaching for her leather trench coat.
Yes.
Kate went into her kitchen and wrestled open a tea tin she’d placed at the back of her cupboard. The single locker key inside fell into her hand, and she pocketed it.
It’s time to go back.
The cabbie didn’t bat an eye when she gave him directions on how to get to the club. Given the industrial area, she was sure he’d been here more than once to either pick up or drop off partiers.
When she stepped out, Ed and Eddie were in front, waiting. Arms crossed and alert to anyone who came near, the pair stood as straight as soldiers on guard duty.
Their usual stoic looks disappeared upon seeing her. Wide smiles split their faces, helping calm her nerves.
“Mistress Kate,” Ed said with a slight bow. “So glad to see you again.” He kept his voice low, although there was no one nearby. “We were worried about you for some time, until Wendy informed us you had taken a break from attending.”
Eddie nodded his welcome.
He’d never been one to waste words.
“Good to see you too.” She flinched inside. These men had been her friends, and she’d walked out without saying good-bye. “I had some personal matters to deal with.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, most of all to us. Welcome back.” Ed held the door open for her.
Kate hesitated, her fingernails digging into her palms to help her find the strength to continue.
She hadn’t been forced out of the club, her membership terminated because she’d done something wrong. She’d exiled herself because she didn’t feel she could ever share the same space with Carl again, the very air tainted with her failure.
Now she was back.
To save someone from hurting himself.
Alex.
He needs me.
I need him.
Her stomach curled into knots.
Ed kept the door open, staying silent.
She thought for a wild second about cutting and running, bolting into the night.
Alex.
“Thank you.” Kate stepped into the hall and headed for the front desk, forcing herself to walk slowly.
She couldn’t get to where she needed to be by running.
Jackie, sitting behind the desk, frowned for a second, and Kate knew she was busy mentally flipping through the membership files, using her photographic memory to figure out who this new arrival was.
Kate slowed her pace, giving her extra time to recognize her.
Jackie’s face showed equal parts of shock and happiness. “Kate?” she whispered. “Is that you?”
Kate found herself smiling despite the situation. “Matthew has you working the door? I thought he would have let you take over as assistant manager by now.”
“I am the assistant manager. I like to sit here and see the new kids sweat their way through the front door on these nights. One of the privileges of seniority.” Jackie jumped to her feet and ran around the desk to grab her in a tight hug. “Kate. God, it’s been so long. How are you doing?” She pulled back to look at her. “I’m so sorry. When I heard—”
Kate put up her hand, cutting off the conversation before it had a chance to get started. “I’m just making a fast visit. Planning on only staying for a short time.”
Jackie paused for a minute before responding. “I understand.” From the tone in her voice, she didn’t but wasn’t going to pursue it. “Your locker is still there. Matthew decided, due to the circumstances, he’d keep it open for you as long as you wanted it.” She shook her head. “He wanted to toss them both out, but the rules…”
“Yeah, I know. The rules.” Kate fought to keep the concern out of her voice. “You tagged in a man not too long ago. Alex Hanson.”
Jackie picked up a clipboard. “Yes. New member. First night here, clipped him white and green.” Her eyes went wide as she looked at Kate. “Yours?”
The single word held a thousand questions.
“No. Maybe. I’m not sure.” She gestured toward the two doors. “I’m here to see.”
Jackie nodded. “Okay to tell Matthew you’re here? I know he was worried about you. He didn’t want to call and bother you at home.”
Interpretation: he didn’t want to get caught in a fight between you and Carl.
“Sure.” Kate had already stepped around the desk and now stood in front of the locker room door. “Do whatever you want.”
“It’s good to see you again,” Jackie said as she unlocked it with a flick of her finger. “I think you’ll find nothing much has changed.”
Everything’s changed, Kate thought. Everything.
The room was much as she’d remembered it, a series of lockers that could have been part of any gym. The black metal closets stood there waiting to hold secrets safe for the members of Boots ’n’ Chains.
A twist of her key, and the locker door swung open. She’d taken all her gear on her last visit, not wanting to leave any reason behind for her to return. Only one item sat on the top shelf, waiting for her to put it on.
The gold bracelet.
Alex.
She hung up her trench coat and reached for the thin gold band.
Alex.
Kate slid the bracelet over her hand and shut the door, leaving the key in the lock.
She strode toward the door at the far end of the room.
The full-length mirror stood beside the entrance to the lounge area. She’d spent more than a few minutes there in the past, checking herself out. Kate couldn’t help thinking about the outfits she’d worn in the past before, after and during her time with Carl.
Tight leather-and-lace corsets propping her breasts up and accentuating her cleavage. Fishnet stockings that would be inevitably torn by the end of the night. Her favorite pair of boots, knee-high and polished by adoring hands.
She wore none of that tonight.
Now she was going back to—
Kate paused, her hand on the doorknob.
To do what? Save Alex from his desires?
She’d seen the way he’d reacted to her touch, to the feel of leather on bare skin.
Her hands on his chest.
The taste of his lips.
The memory sent a warm rush through her body.
Kate closed her eyes, reliving the moment.
Damn.
She clenched her thighs together in an effort to pull herself back from the brink. A few minutes in the club, and she was already more than halfway to coming.
Alex was out there, waiting for her.
Kate wasn’t sure what she was going to do or say to him.
But she wasn’t going anywhere standing in the locker room.
She gripped the exit-door handle and pulled.