CHAPTER 18

I stare out the window as a light rain falls onto the glass, and water streams off into long rivulets. I follow one with my fingertip until it drops out of sight. It disappears, just like Sam and Amy. I sigh as I pull myself away from the window and start pacing the room again. I want to scream. Punch the shit out of something. Anything to ease this damn ache in my chest.

I stride back and forth in the empty room, my mind firing on all cylinders. The storage room is filled with chairs and old lab equipment and enough dust to choke a horse, but it’s quiet. A place to get away from everyone. Just what I need. I’m well aware I’m unraveling at the seams.

My mood shifts with every step I take. Anger. Disbelief. Fear. Grief. It all jolts through me, boiling into one unstable cesspool of emotion.

How had I failed so badly again? How had I not seen this coming? Amy was in danger, and I just let her slip through my fingers. Sam took her right out from under my nose. Then there’s Sam. He wasn’t infected. He was so sure he was disconnected from the hive. So sure he was able to resist them. He was a fool. So was I. Wanting him to be the old Sam so badly clouded my judgement. I should have seen through it. Even the damn dog had known something was wrong.

“Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!”

I tear at my hair as the screams rip at my throat. I hate this. This waiting. This not knowing. This feeling of total helplessness. We need to move out already. To be on the road and going after Sam and Amy. But we had to wait. Wait for the docs to come up with some sort of… what had he called it? Ultrasonic weapon. Wait for him to test it on the damn hybrid. And what if it doesn’t work? What if this whole idea of his is utter and complete nonsense? Where would that leave us? Up shit creek without a paddle, that’s where we’ll be. Waging a war with half a dozen against hundreds of leeches, hybrids, and the super mind. A suicide mission.

“I figured that was your elegant speech I heard echoing down the hall.” Luke slips into the room on silent feet, and I whirl in fright.

“Shit, Whitman.” I glower at him. “You trying to give me a heart attack?”

He shoves his hands in his jeans’ pockets as he stares across the room at me. “Sorry, thought you heard me coming.” His dark eyes are filled with worry. “You okay?”

I run a hand over the shaved side of my head. It’s prickly and rough. Just like me at the moment. “Do I look okay?”

“No. You look like you could use a friend.”

My grin is void of humor. “Well, then I guess I’m shit out of luck since the only two I have are missing right now and possibly dead.”

“They’re not dead. Sam is the super mind’s lackey. He needs him alive. Amy too. It knows we’ll come after the girl. If it wanted her dead, it would have had Sam do it here.”

I take a deep breath. Luke’s right.

“And as for having no friends, that’s not true and you know it. You still have us.”

“Us?” I snort. “As in the crew? As in Robyn and Dom who can’t stand my guts, and Gordo, Mike, and Badger who most likely blame me for all this since I convinced you all to let Sam stay? Yeah, I don’t think ‘friend’ is the word they associate with me right now. Not to mention you…” I drop my gaze from his as I start pacing again.

“What about me?” Luke’s tone is questioning.

I throw my hands up in the air. “Never mind. Nothing. I’m not even sure what I meant by that.”

Before I know it, he’s across the room and in front of me. I halt abruptly, almost slamming my chin into his chest. His fingers grab my chin before I can step away, forcing my face up, so my eyes connect with his.

“You don’t think I consider you a friend?”

Our faces are close. So close I can smell his familiar scent and see the fine, blond whiskers covering his square jaw and the top of his lip. It takes all my willpower not to reach up and touch those lips.

“How could you?” I whisper. “You’re a good man, Luke, and I’ve hurt you so much. I’ve lied to you. I’ve turned my back on you. I treated you horribly. How can you even stand to be in the same room as me? I can’t even stand to be in the same room as me.”

He raises a blond brow as the right corner of his mouth lifts. “Some days it’s an effort; I’m not gonna lie. You don’t make it easy for people to like you. But what you seem to forget, Emma Bixby, is that I know you better than you know yourself at times. I know that behind that foul mouth and harsh exterior beats a heart of gold. Beyond the brashness and snark is a woman who loves fully and completely. A woman who’s not afraid to do what it takes to protect those she loves. A woman who is loyal, passionate, and fearless. Someone I’m proud to call my friend.”

He wipes at the tears gathering in the corner of my eyes.

“I know you’re scared right now for Amy and Sam. So am I. I’m scared for all of us. We have no idea what we’re walking into or if any of us will make it back out alive. I’ve been thinking about that. A lot. And I’ve concluded that life is way too short. That’s why I came looking for you. I just want you to know in case something does happen to us, you made me happy in our time together, and I don’t regret a single moment of it.”

The tiny laugh drops from my lips as I put a little distance between us, so I can look him in the eye. “You know, you really do need to work on your pep talks. There is such a thing as too much honesty.”

He shrugs. “I’m a simple guy, Bix. I believe in being honest and upfront. I’ve never hidden that from you. Or my feelings.”

The intensity of his chocolate-brown eyes as they devour my face heightens every single one of my senses. Every hair stands on end. Every nerve ending quivers as he runs his fingers down my cheek and collarbone. I lick my lips and clear my throat, swallowing hard. My heart hammers in my chest, and I’m sure he knows by the way my pulse throbs in my neck.

“No matter what’s happened or what may happen, my feelings haven’t changed, Bix. I want you to know that. I care about you. I have for a long time. Don’t ask me why. You’re about as lovable as a fucking hornet. But little by little I saw the real you, and it reeled me in, hook, line, and sinker.” He runs his two thumbs along my cheeks, over my lips, and my knees go weak. All I want to do is lose myself in the love I see shining in his eyes. Fall into his arms and let him hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay. He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel at peace. But it’s all an illusion. Those two things don’t exist anymore. Instead, I grab his two hands, stopping his perusal of my face and break the beauty of the moment.

“You shouldn’t,” I whisper.

“I shouldn’t what?”

I swallow again, trying to stop the tears blocking my throat. “You shouldn’t care about me. I’m a fucking jinx. A bad omen. Anyone who’s ever cared about me, well, bad things happen to them. My mom. Liv. Coop. Amy. Sam. I think it’s the universe’s way of telling me I’m no good. That I’m rotten. That I don’t deserve anyone’s concern. And you sure as hell deserve better than me.” Just not Robyn.

I keep that last thought to myself. I don’t want to mention her name.

He sighs, his warm breath tickling my cheek. “Bix, you need to let go of this self-hatred. And fuck the universe. It doesn’t know you like I do. I love—”

“Don’t.” I press a finger against his lips, even though my heart feels like it’s about to burst. “Don’t say it. It’s bad luck. I don’t want anything to happen to you, too, by saying that.”

His eyes reflect his confusion. “Too?”

I flush under his gaze. I didn’t mean to reveal that, but I explain anyway. “Sam. Just before the super mind took him over, he… he did the same thing. Revealed his heart. Told me how he felt. Then he became one of them. I told you. I’m a curse to anyone who cares about me.”

“And I told you before, I’m not Sam. And I don’t believe in curses. Besides, we’re already destined to fight a super alien and its army. A fight we probably won’t survive. The universe can’t throw much more shit our way, can it?”

My tiny laugh is tinged with hysteria. This is so not the right time for this conversation. Sam and Amy missing. A super mind and its army waiting to tear us to shreds and take over the earth. Yet being in Luke’s arms feels right. Like it’s where I’m supposed to be at this exact moment in time.

“I. Love. You.” He glances up at the ceiling. “And up yours, universe.”

This is the Luke I remember. The one who’s honest. Open. Warm. Funny. The one who broke through my walls and made me care.

I don’t say anything, but maybe Luke sees it in my eyes. He sucks in a deep breath before his head dips toward mine. The moment our lips touch it’s like a spark igniting a powder keg. My skin sizzles. My stomach folds in on itself. My heart feels like it doubles in size. But still I can’t bring myself to say those same words back.

Instead, I focus on the moment. The feel of his lips on mine. The way my skin quivers at his touch. It makes me forget. I want to forget. I don’t want to think about the shit world we live in. About how those I love are in so much danger. About how most of us will probably not make it back alive. I know it’s selfish and self-centered, but I don’t care. Right at this point in time, I want to lose myself in the oblivion of satisfaction, and Luke is the one to deliver it.

Luke goes with my response. He grabs my ass, lifting me, and I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me to the dusty desk. Plunking my butt down hard, he nestles between my thighs and grinds against me, causing everything below my waist to short circuit and send me over the edge. I gasp in pleasure as his tongue strokes mine with the promise of more to come. I know if I wasn’t already sitting, my knees would be too damn weak to keep me from sinking to the floor.

He tears his mouth away from mine, and I moan in pleasure as he drops tiny kisses over my cheek, my earlobe, down my neck. Goosebumps erupt as a shiver jolts down my spine.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers, the bulge pressing between my legs tells me he’s not lying.

“Then fucking show me how much,” I whisper back, reaching between us to unbutton my pants.

“Luke? Bix?” The muffled voice echoes down the corridor outside our little sanctuary, and I know who it is without a doubt. Gordon.

“Are you kidding me?” Luke growls, pressing his forehead to mine, both of us breathing heavily with arousal.

“Don’t answer. Maybe he’ll go away.”

“It’s Gordo. He won’t give up until he finds us. You know that.” He shifts away from me, and a whine of protest falls from my lips. I reach out to pull him back. No. He can’t leave me hanging like this. He grabs my hand and kisses my knuckle.

“We can’t. Not with him out there prowling. I swear to god that little dipshit has cockblocker radar.”

My grunt of laughter is mixed with disappointment. Luke zips his hoodie and pulls it down to cover the bulge in his jeans and leans back against the desk, arms crossed.

“In here,” he answers to Gordo’s second round of bellowing. Footsteps echo down the corridor moments before the door swings open, and a red head comes into view.

“What the hell you guys doing down here in the basement?”

Luke cocks a brow. “Would you believe trying to get a little privacy?”

“Why?” Gordo glances back and forth between our flushed faces. Understanding sets in, and he turns the same color as his hair. “Oh, geez. Sorry, dudes. Didn’t mean to interrupt, but Doc H sent me to find you guys. He’s ready to test the hybrid with his frequency theory. I figured you guys would want to be there for that.”

I leap from the desk, putting my need for Luke on the back burner. “Damn right we do. Lead the way, kid.”

# # #

They had moved the hybrid since our last visit here. The thing has been upgraded to an isolation room with a viewing window and all. The room is sturdy and solid. The fiberglass window has steel moldings reinforcing the glass at every junction. They aren’t taking any chances.

Through the window, I see the hybrid lying unresponsive on its steel bed, straps hanging loose at its arms and feet, and an IV drip at its head. It appears smaller than I remember. Emaciated. Like it’s shriveling up from its captivity. I almost feel sorry for it.

All three docs await us, plus the rest of our crew. Barclay and two of his men are also there, something akin to freaking elephant guns attached to their shoulders. The sight of the weapons makes me feel better than just depending on the glass to keep us separate from the hybrid.

Robyn looks up from her study of her nails at our entrance. “Nice of you two to join us.”

Her eyes examine me like she’s looking for evidence of what we were up to. I wonder if my lips look as swollen as they feel? Like I’ve been thoroughly kissed to hell and back. I think they do because her eyes fill with a mixture of anger and jealousy before turning away. I fight to keep the tiny grin off my face. God, I’m such a petty person. Luke doesn’t seem to notice at all as he joins Doc H at the equipment laden table underneath the window.

“Update us, doc.”

Doc H nods, getting down to business. “Okay. We’ve stopped the subjects drip and loosened its restraints. It should wake up soon.” He must sense how we all tense. “No need to worry. It can’t escape the room.”

Hmmm. Really. So why the need for restraints in the first place? I edge a little closer to Barclay.

“Nice gun,” I mutter, and he shoots me a grin of agreement.

The room goes silent as the thing on the other side of the glass gives a couple of jerky flops on the table, like a fish out of water. It lifts an arm, and the claws on the end of the overly long fingers causes the scar on my back to twitch in pain. The memory of a similar claw creating that scar is still fresh.

A tremor starts in its legs and seems to crawl up the gray-skinned body. Its eyes open, and the mouth stretches into an unheard howl. Anger? Pain? There’s no sound.

“Why can’t we hear it?” I ask and Doc H startles.

“Oh, dear. I forgot to turn on the two-way speakers to the room.” He flips a couple of switches on the table of panels, and a low-pitched shriek fills up the room.

The sound chills me to my core. It sounds like a combination of a short roar or growl, combined with a huffing and snorting. Its agitation is obvious. It’s pissed off. It reminds me of a very angry lion.

Suddenly, it leaps from the table and smashes itself against the glass, and not one person in the room fails to pee themselves a little. I’m positive of that. I’m frozen, unable to exhale as I stand inches from the glass, watching the terrifying thing. It doesn’t appear as emaciated anymore. It swells with anger and its obvious need to tear us apart. The sympathy I felt for it earlier disappears under my wave of fear.

Even though it still has the eerily human eyes and face, there is no trace of humanity visible in its primal glare or shriek. It’s a killing machine. I can’t stop the shiver as its claws scrape down the glass with a jarring sound. It presses its mouth up against the glass, displaying the long teeth and leaving a disgusting trail of slime that drips slowly down the window.

“Any time now, doc,” I hiss at Howarth. He tears his eyes from the monstrosity’s show of malevolence.

“Yes. Of course.” He moves to the piece of equipment on the table that reminds me of a circuit board connected to a boxy shaped radio. “We will start at a barely audible spectrum and work our way up the frequency level. Hopefully, we will get the reaction we require. But this is an alien life form we’re dealing with. I have no idea how this will go.”

The doc fiddles with a button on the box, and a low hum fills the room. More of a vibration, really. I find it quite unsettling, although the hybrid stops its antagonistic behavior and stares out at us.

“This is 18Hz. This is the range I believe they communicate—”

“Doc, we don’t need a play by play,” Luke interrupts. “Just find the damn frequency we need.”

Howarth ducks his head and goes back to fiddling with the buttons. The hum progresses into a low tone, and the hybrid tilts its head, as if trying to figure out what we’re doing. I think doc’s found the “I’m interested” frequency.

He increases the tone slowly. The sound rings in my ears, becoming damn annoying. The hybrid shows no reaction.

“Fuck,” Gordo whines in my ear and I jump. I didn’t realize he was so near. “I don’t think it’s working.”

I don’t answer, but the damn fear in my gut agrees with him. It’s not going to work.

Doc H keeps going. The sound increases.

Movement from the glass catches my attention and I look back. The hybrid is no longer staring at us. It’s pacing its enclosure like it, too, is irritated and affected by the sound.

“Higher,” Kasina orders and Howarth complies.

The hybrid shakes its head and increases its pace, practically leaping about its cell. The sound is almost unbearable now. I put my hands over my ears. I want to turn and run from the room. I’m not the only one since most of my crew have their ears covered, too.

But none of us move. We’re too focused on the hybrid. It stops its stumbling, and in a very human-like move, places its hands over its ears just as I did earlier. It steps toward the glass and growls at doc H like it’s well aware he is causing its discomfort. The docs stare back in fascination.

“Increase the decibels,” Kasina urges. Doc H adjusts his machine.

The hybrid falls to its knees, wailing in pain. Black blood pools in the eyes staring daggers at us. It leaks out, carving crimson lines down over the gray flesh. The hybrid jerks, shaking its head like a colony of bees has taken up residence inside its skull. The palms covering its ears curl up as the claws start digging into the sides of its head like its physically trying to rip the pain out. Bits of torn skin and hair splatter the glass as its head shakes from side to side.

I swallow the bile in the back of my throat. I want to look away, but I can’t. Like the docs, I’m utterly fascinated with the thing’s morbid dance. Is this damn idea actually working?

Finally, the creature emits a wail that resonates through my bones before crumpling to the floor. We wait, but it doesn’t get back up.

“Is it dead?” Gordo whispers. All of us move as one toward the glass window. I brace myself, expecting any moment for it to jump back up and make us all shit our pants. I peer over the ledge. The creature lays on the floor, a pool of blood surrounding its torn ears. I study it closely. Its chest moves up and down. Slight, but there’s motion. Incapacitated, but still alive.

Doc H clears his throat. “Well. That worked a little better than anticipated.”

“No shit, doc,” I say. “How the hell did a sound do that?” I point to the pathetic creature behind the glass.

Doc H turns off his transmitter. “To be honest, I have no idea. They communicate at such a low frequency; audible ability at that high of a level shouldn’t even be possible. But again, I’ll reiterate, they are an alien life form. God only knows what bits and pieces of other life form DNA its picked up in its voyage through the universe. Their heightened auditory sense played to our advantage here. Just don’t ask me to explain it.”

“Who the hell cares how it works.” Luke’s words carry excitement. “It works. Do you realize what this means? We actually may have found a way to defeat these bastards once and for all. After all these years.”

Luke’s right. The implication finally starts to settle in and excitement buzzes in my gut. We can take them down. All of them at once. A whole horde without having to battle them. Well, those within range.

“What’s the range on that machine of yours, doc?” I ask.

He looks at his circuit board of bits and pieces. “Not sure. Will depend on what we can use to transmit it. It will have to be made portable. Just need a battery and tweeters basically.” He glances to Barclay. “Do we have anything like that on hand?”

Barclay nods. “I’m sure we can salvage the audio equipment in the basement. I’ll get right on that, doc.” He hoists his gun and heads toward the door of the isolation room. “But first things first. Let me put that poor bastard out of its misery.”