Chapter 29—Maria

He was the first man that I’d spoken those words to and meant it.

I actually meant it.

I told Luc once in a roundabout sort of way. At the time I thought I meant it, but I knew he wasn’t mine. It was just something I said so he knew he could trust me. It was during a time when it was hard to trust anyone. Friends and enemies were practically the same thing.

I also told Franco I loved him, but I said it because I was supposed to.

I fell for him, and part of me loved him. Still there was something missing.

I didn’t realize it at all until earlier when I told Dante.

I didn’t realize that the thing that was missing in my life with everyone else I’d ever been with was they weren’t him.

None of them were Dante, and somehow he completed me. He was everything for me.

I was too late though.

Too late and I was packing.

Packing again to leave Chicago. This time I thought I’d travel light. Just a rucksack for me and Flynn with the essentials. I’d buy everything else when we got to where we were going.

I thought this time we’d head west. To Iowa and then maybe on to Idaho. Just get lost in the mountains somewhere. Maybe that would be better than a city. It would certainly be better than coming here had been.

God, I didn’t know what I was going to do, but that was the plan.

It was my plan.

Flynn was playing with his little soldiers and he had a little bag packed too.

Donny and the other guys were still here, but I was going to slip out the back hopefully unnoticed. They thought we were up here asleep.

I’d booked our bus tickets for eight. It meant we’d be travelling through the night just like last time.

“Mama where are we going?” Flynn asked.

“We’re gonna go somewhere fun. Lots of mountains with snow in the winter.”

He frowned. “Why can’t we stay here? I like it here. Uncle Dante said I could live here.”

I couldn’t break his heart and let him know his mother had managed to fuck everything up once again. Yet again I’d screwed up.

I’d ruined it all with thinking I was doing the right thing keeping secrets, but I wasn’t.

Dante was so right. I should have told him. I should have said something to him all those years ago.

I should have left it to him to decide what he wanted to do with the information. In my pursuit to protect him, I ended up damaging everything. In the end none of my reasons were valid.

He saw it as me withholding information specifically from him. He didn’t get my point and I guess it was understandable. Even though I didn’t know for sure until today that Elliot was Christina’s killer.

The fact that I had a name incriminated me.

“Things change baby. Things happen.”

Things happened and I wouldn’t want to be here when Dante got back. I didn’t want him to throw me out or ask me to leave. It would be worse than him looking at me the way he did with so much disappointment in his eyes when I’d told him I loved him.

The thing was I almost knew what was down this road. I almost knew what would happen. It was why I had never wanted to work with him.

My guilt over Christina’s death was always there, because I knew I couldn’t save her, and this thing today just made me feel worse.

“It’ll be an adventure.” I added picking up the bag.

We managed to slip out the back door. Once on the road I called a taxi that took us to the bus station.

The good old bus station where I’d come in from Florida weeks ago. I didn’t think I’d be leaving so soon. This time with my heart broken in so many pieces. It would have been better if I’d gone somewhere else.

It had just gone seven when we arrived so I thought it would be best to get Flynn something hearty to eat so it would hold him for the journey.

We went into McDonalds. I ordered a happy meal with extra-large fries and ice cream.

“Do you need the toilet?” I asked him and he nodded looking sleepy. I was glad, because that meant he would drift off as soon as we boarded the bus.

I took his little hand and led him to the ladies.

He’d gotten to that age now where he didn’t want me helping him so I allowed him to go in the cubicle by himself.

When he came out to wash his hands someone came in, a man.

A man in the ladies’ room.

I instantly tensed. The man came in and looked at me. I was about to ask him what the fuck he was looking at when Franco came in from behind him.

Franco …

He was here. Shit, he was actually here.

God in heaven I couldn’t breathe.

“Maria, Maria … why have you been avoiding me?”

“Is that another friend Mama?” Flynn asked much to Franco’s disdain.

“Flynn, Daddy’s home. I am definitely not a friend. I’m your father and I’m back big time.” He laughed and continued laughing like he’d said a joke. No, he was laughing at me. “Maria, Maria you think you can just get away with what you did? I think it was amusing to see you try, more amusing to watch you believe you could escape me.”

“How did you find us?” I had to know, how he’d figured it out.

“Friends in high places. Names pop up even if you use cash. Cameras everywhere. The biggest thing though was Flynn being taken in by the police. That was a dead giveaway. Names in systems and friends in higher places. You can’t escape me. You will be punished Maria. For everything. Everything.”

I started to shake and my soul shivered.

He was going to kill me.

He was going to kill me just like I knew he would.

Franco was going to kill me.

“Come here Flynn.” Franco said crouching down.

“No Flynn stay here.” I winced.

My worst nightmare was happening. Us being found, having nowhere to run, and no one to save us.

Franco walked up to us and grabbed Flynn.

Flynn started crying and tried to reach for me. When I tried to take him back Franco backhanded me so hard I slammed into the wall and fell on the ground.

Flynn started screaming and crying when he saw that.

“Give him back to me!” I cried. “Give him back.”

I couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t.

Franco looked to me and gave me a wicked, evil smile. His dark eyes darkened the way they used to before he’d beat me, or before he planned to do something to teach me a lesson.

It was so strange I remembered when I was at the Crowthorne and I saw Elliot grab Christina up by her arm. I didn’t know why that memory decided to pop into my mind, but it came. I’d thought at the time that I would never allow any man to treat me that way. I’d thought I’d leave if ever I happened to fall into a relationship where the guy was abusive. Look at me now still taking it.

So Pathetic.

Franco looked down at me and that smile of his grew wider with a promise of death.

“Flynn, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m booking a one way ticket back to Florida. It’s up to your mama to decide if you come with me alive, or in a body bag.” He chuckled.

Dark dread filled me.

Jesus …

Jesus no …

What was he saying?

I never factored in the possibility that he would hurt Flynn.

Looking at him now, I saw the pure evil in him—insanity and evil.

How could I have been so wrong? Why couldn’t I see it before? Way back when, when we first met, why didn’t I see it then?

He’d kill Flynn too. He’d do it to hurt me and then kill me.

Terror like a steel weight dropped in the pit of my stomach, immobilizing me, and my mind became a vast expanse of desolation without hope.

There was no hope.

I saw now there never was to begin with.