Chapter 130 Chapter 130
Serena's Pov
I woke up with a heavy feeling in my chest.Not the type you shake off with a stretch or a yawn, but the type that clings to you like wet clothing, heavy and oppressive.
My head throbbed but I managed to open my eyes.
I slapped my hand against my temple and groaned. The room was too bright, the air too still everything was strangely disturbing. I shoved my legs off the bed and sat up. My throat was dry and my body was heavy, as if I hadn't slept in weeks. Fact was… I barely had. The night had been restless, my mind reliving pieces of thoughts that refused to come together. Today is the final hearing and my mind and peace had suddenly become sworn enemies.
Caffeine. I needed caffeine desperately. So I pulled myself out of the room, running to the stairs. My bare feet pounded on the wood floor, my eyes half squinted and my mind already imagining the bitter taste of coffee.
I held on to the railing, horridly running down the stairs in desperation. And then suddenly, the slipper strap snapped with no warning and I slipped, tumbling down the steps. I gasped as the world spun right in front of me.
My shoulder scraped against the railing and my head slammed into the floor board with a loud thud. A crack ripped through my skull, followed by rushed noises so loud I thought the world had exploded around me. At first they were faint, muffled whispers at the back of my mind but then they began to grow louder and more urgent, screaming like a thousand radio stations tuning in all at once. My ears buzzed and my head burned.
I held the sides of my head and screamed as I tried to make meaning of the gibberish playing in my head. My nails dug into my head as the voices coarsened, hardened, ran into one another.
And then I began to see blinding flashes. I saw Dominic's face, his smirk, his raised hand, his grip on my wrist so hard it ached. I saw Liana's tearful face the night they had spoken about Elia in the dark café. I saw myself crying, begging him to stop but all he did was laugh.
Each memory struck me piercing the fog that had surrounded my head for so long. The voices yelled louder and louder until they were no longer voices. They were my voice. My screams. My silence.
I folded on the floor, my forehead on the cold wood, sobbing as memories kept flooding in. I remembered his hands, his smell, the way my body would freeze with fear when he walked into the room. I remembered Serena, the real me, the girl I once was before everything that happened happened.
I don't know how long I was at that spot. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? Only the time knew. But finally, the voices kept quiet. It was as if the person tuning the radio stations had decided it was time for a break. My skin was wet as tears and sweat mixed up and streamed down my face
But finally, there was silence.
I raised my head slowly. My eyes darted frantically around, as if I could still somehow catch the last shreds of the hallucinations before they were gone forever. But they were already gone.
Instead, I had real memories. Everything I had known now somehow began to come back to me. I remembered everything.
I staggered to my feet, supporting myself on the railing with one foot. I checked the time on the wall clock. Ten minutes past twelve.
I instantly panicked. The hearing. They had been in court since the morning. By this point… they'd be practically wrapping things up.
My heart thundered and my head banged but I knew I couldn't waste another minute so I dragged myself to the room. I ran into the bathroom, threw water on my puffy face, wiped dried tears from my cheeks and looked at myself. My face in the mirror was like that of a ghost. Pale complexion, bloodshot eyes and trembling lips. Such a disaster.
"No," I gasped, shaking my head. "Not like this. Not today."
I brushed through my hair, patted it high into a ponytail. I dusted powder on my face to counteract the redness and put on red lipstick with a trembling hand. I didn't want to look broken when I walked inside, I wanted to look untouchable.
I ran out the door, grabbing my handbag and off I went. My legs took me along the road until I was in front of the mall. I ran in there, grabbing the first fitted outfit I landed my eyes on, a navy blue blazer with a black tight little thing that hugged me like armor inside. Nude heels and pants. I paid cash, fingers fumbling as I did so, and I ran for the bathroom to change.
When I gazed at the mirror again, I hardly knew myself. My hair tied back in a ponytail, my lips a bright red, my body sharp in clean lines… I looked powerful.
I panted shakily. "You can do this, Serena. You have to."
Outside, I waved down a cab. The driver, a gray haired man with tired eyes, rolled down the window. "Where to?"
"The courthouse," I spat out, getting comfortable in the backseat.
He glanced at me in the rearview mirror as he blended into traffic. "Big case today, huh?"
"Yes." I heard my voice crack, so I cleared my throat. "Yes, very big."
He gave me a raised eyebrow, but didn't pry. "You look… nervous. First time in court?"
I laughed, acrid and nasty. "Something like that."
We drove in silence for a moment, the city unwinding behind us. My hands twisted in my lap. Red lights were agony.
"Are you… involved?" he finally said, his tone careful.
My eyes flashed to his in the backseat. "Yes. More than I ever wanted."
"Then you're doing the right thing," he whispered. "Better to seem than to keep silent. Whatever it is, you'll feel lighter afterward."
His words hung in my chest. I gazed out the window, buildings blurring together. He didn't know the impact his words had just had on me
"Don't know if lighter is the word," I whispered. "But I gotta do this. For her… For me."
The driver nodded, like he understood more than I'd explained even though I knew he didn't.
When finally the courthouse did come into view, my heart began beating so forcefully I couldn't hear myself breathe.
"This it?" he asked.