Chapter 25 - Mayhem

There were three reasons why I became an actress. One was to follow the legacy of my mother who was a star in her own generation. Two was because I wanted to become a person who was worthy of my first love. The last reason was so my father would finally notice me. Now that I knew that he wasn’t really who I thought he was, my mind was full of questions.

Who was my real father? Why did my mother lie to me before she died? And more importantly, would I ever become whole again? Plagued with these thoughts, I packed my bags and went to the cabin that my mother owned, deep in the forest. I haven’t been to the cabin in years. But I needed the escape and comfort it gave me.

Dulce, Eris, and their friends kept on calling me. The problem was I wasn’t fit to talk to them. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I was emotionally and mentally unstable and I would surely hurt them by saying or doing something unpleasant. That was the reason why I went to the cabin- to escape.

My mobile phone rang for what seemed to be the hundredth time. Burning it or tossing it in the trash bin crossed my mind, but my concern for my girlfriend prevented me from doing so. If an emergency happened, I wanted to be in the loop. For the moment though, I just stared blankly at the lumber wall, ignoring the annoying buzzing sound of the phone. It didn’t take much to make me fall asleep to the white sound.

As I awoke, I decided to explore the small yet cozy cabin. My mother used to take me here. When I was six, I had a vague recollection of my mom and me going on a trip in this place. It was just the two of us and we had a blast. She made s’mores for me, ingeniously using the fireplace in the living room to heat the mallows, singing the campfire song as we ate it together near the warmth of the fire.

My mom was the complete opposite of Rick. She exuded warmth and gentleness, while Rick was always cold and harsh. I should have seen the signs early on. If he was my real father then he wouldn’t have treated me like that. But why did he hate me so much? Lots of adoptive parents were good to their children. Maybe he saw something in me that didn’t go well with him. Or maybe he was just an ass.

Going to one of the three rooms in the cabin, I saw the familiar wooden bed that my mother used to sleep on when we were here before. Sitting down, I placed my palm on top of the dust covered white sheet, gliding my hand smoothly, wanting to feel her presence somehow. But I was only kidding myself. No amount of wishing would bring her back. She has been dead a long time ago so she couldn’t answer the question about my dad. My real one this time.

Taking a deep and shaky breath, I got up from the bed and walked towards the closet. Pulling it open, I saw that it was bare, save for a wooden chest that was intricately carved with swirling patterns. My mother used to open this chest. I sat crossed-leg on the floor, tugging the trunk to me, curious as to what was inside.

Dusting it off with my hands, I yanked it open and saw a lot of pictures and letters. It must have been from her die-hard fans. Checking one of the letters out, I saw my mother’s handwriting, thanking the fan for writing her. These were unsent letters that should have been mailed years ago. My mom was so busy that she must have forgotten to send it.

A ring from my mobile phone jerked me away from my thoughts. The ringtone was different, it was the one I assigned specifically for Andrea. Hurrying to the living room where I left it, I grabbed the phone from the table and swiped the accept option.

“Hello Andrea? Why are you calling? Did something happen to Dulce?” My heart thumped wildly against my chest. Why else would she call?

“Don’t worry about Dulce,” she said calmly from the other line. I breathed a sigh of relief. “But we need to talk Glace.” Her tone was serious. It wasn’t scolding though which I expected her to do after I ruined her announcement.

“I can’t go to your house,” I said hurriedly. “I can’t see Dulce yet.” Andrea sighed from the other line. “I understand Glace. Let’s meet-up somewhere. A coffee shop perhaps? I know a hole-in-the wall one where you won’t get recognized. I’ll text you the address.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you in an hour.”

After the conversation, I drove to the meeting place that Andrea suggested. She was already there in the corner, drinking her espresso. I sat in front of her in the booth without ordering my own drink. Adjusting my sunglasses and cap, I started to apologize. “I’m so sorry for doing that in front of your relatives, but I had no choice. Believe me Andrea, it was all a misunderstanding that got out of control.”

She sipped her coffee silently, studying me with her brown eyes that eerily reminded me of her daughter’s. God, she looked like Dulce, especially when she was deep in thought. Although she was more of the wiser-looking one while my girlfriend was the smoking hot sexy version. She placed her cup gently on the table.

“I know what happened Glace. Dulce told me everything after everyone left.” I opened my mouth to speak but she cut me off. “Don’t worry, I’m not mad at you. If anything, I’m angry at Rick. Not only did he make a fool out of me, he said those harsh things to you too.”

My eyes lowered to the table. “He’s a cruel guy. I really thought he was my dad.” I quickly swallowed the lump in the back of my throat, silently praying that tears wouldn’t fall. Embarrassing myself like that in front of Andrea, Dulce’s mom, was not in my bucket list.

Andrea reached out and patted my hand sympathetically. “I can only imagine what you’re going through. He hurt me too. But I know that what he said to you was more unbearable. Tell me, do you want me to kick him in the nuts for you?”

Despite my foul mood, her statement made me smile a little. Dulce got her wacky sense of humor from her mom. “No,” I mumbled. “I want to do that myself.”

“Of course,” she said while leaning back to the chair and sighing audibly. “Glace. . . Why are you avoiding my daughter? She’s concerned for you. She keeps on calling Eris to ask where you are but your friend didn’t know either. Are you mad at Dulce?”

I removed the sunglasses from my eyes and placed it on the table before looking at her. “No I’m not. It’s just that I can’t talk to her yet. I have so many things in my mind right now.” Andrea nodded understandingly. “I get that Glace, but she loves you. Give her a chance to comfort you.”

“I need time to myself,” I told her truthfully. “When I’m ready I’ll talk to her. I promise.”

“Okay,” she muttered before taking her cup and sipping from it. “And when are you planning to talk to Rick? I understand that you hate him and you want to avoid him right now, but you need to learn about yourself.”

“I’ll visit him after this.”

“In that case, I don’t want to keep you here any longer,” she said while standing up from her chair. Handing my sunglasses to me, she ushered me to the front of the shop. “You should have told me earlier about Rick. Even though he was dear to me, I would have done everything for you and Dulce.”

My heart melted when she said that. Not meaning to, something wet and warm dropped from my eyes, trailing all the way to my cheek. I have always yearned for parental affection and here she was giving it freely to me like my mom used to do. “Aww sweetie,” she said, hugging me tightly to her. The people in the shop minded their own business so we were free to do that. Besides, we didn’t care.

“The moment I saw you, I knew that you’d be perfect for Dulce. That’s why I loved you as a daughter from the start. From now on we’re your family. Don’t carry the burden by yourself. When you’re sad, tell us why so we can comfort you.” She smiled and leaned back so she could wipe away the tears from my eyes. “I’d be very happy if you marry Dulce someday. And please call me mom.”

“Thank you,” I said shakily. “I’m so happy you’re a cool person.”

“Yes I am,” she replied. Pushing me to the door, she said “Go get em tiger.”

I nodded to her and tried to collect myself before making my way out and straight to my car. Several minutes later, I parked in front of the large house. It was where I used to live before I bought my property at a young age from my own earnings. At that time my father treated me like a ghost, as if I wasn’t there. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I purchased a house and moved there. Squaring my shoulders, I got out of the car and walked to my old home.

The maid greeted me with a gasp. “Miss Glace!” she said with wide-eyes, her hair tied in a bun bobbing up and down as she shook her head. “I haven’t seen you in a long time.

“I missed you too Martha,” I mumbled before coming in. She knew me by my real name because she was my nanny, even before I got famous. “Is dad home?” Martha nodded eagerly, happy to see me. “He’s in his study.”

“Thanks.”

Walking to the study, I knocked three times before entering the room, shutting the door gently behind me. I cleared my throat to grab his attention. Frankly, I had no idea what to call him. Dad? Rick? It was like I was in an alternate universe. He looked up, closing the book he was reading in a snap. “So the prodigal daughter returns,” he smirked. “What do you want?”

“Can you tell me who my real father is?” I opened and closed my palm, waiting for his reply. Yeah I know. I wasn’t one for small talk. He cocked his head to the side and considered. What it was he was considering, I simply didn’t know. “Why should I tell you?” he said after a while, his face forming into a deep frown. “You ruined everything for me. Andrea canceled our engagement making me the laughing stock of our friends and her family.”

“Because it’s the right thing to do,” I answered as patiently as I could. Rick was playing with me. He was enjoying my discomfort, the evil dog that he was. With a small smile, he placed his palm together and leaned down so his chin was right above his entwined fingers. “I want you to do something for me first.”

“What?”

“I don’t know, maybe go to your knees and beg.”

I stared incredulously in his direction. “You’re out of your mind if you think I’d do that.” Amazingly, his smile didn’t vanish. He got up from the leather chair he was sitting in and walked in front of me, leaning back on the oak table, letting it support his weight. “How about you say the words, I’m not really a lesbian, I’m just a lonely girl waiting for a man.”

“Fuck you!” I hissed in contempt. “My sexuality is none of your business. You know what, forget this. I used to think that you were a person deserving of my respect seeing that my mom loved you, but you clearly aren’t. I didn’t know what she saw in you. You’re an ass Rick. I’m glad you’re not my father.”

Watching his face fall, I turned around and stomped out of the room. He didn’t follow. It spoke volumes about how little he cared about me which surprisingly hurt a lot despite my hate for him. “Where are you going miss Glace? You just got here,” Martha said as I opened the front door and slammed it behind me loudly.

Once in my car, I angrily whacked the steering wheel over and over with my palm. “You sick, sick bastard!” My jaw clenched in frustration, tears threatening to fall once more. But it wasn’t hopelessness I was feeling. It was hatred for the man that I once wished would love me. Placing my head on the steering wheel, I tried to calm myself by thinking of Dulce’s face. She was the only real thing in this world of make believe. I needed her badly. So bad that it was hard not to breathe without her.

Driving around in circles, I ended up in the place that always gave me serenity, the cemetery. Following the familiar path, I soon saw the small hill where everything started. Climbing up, I reached the top and gazed down on the rows of tombstone that was lined neatly beneath. The wind fluttered my hair back and I inhaled deeply, trying hard to capture the feeling that gave me hope before.

I sat down on the hill and continued looking at the tombstones in the distance. It was exactly as I remembered it, cold, silent, assuring. If only she was here with me then everything would have been like the first time.

“Glace,” she called out.

My eyes closed. I wanted to see her so much that I was imagining her here. But how could she have known this place when she has forgotten all about it? “Baby,” she said again. A soft hand stroked my back, prompting me to open my eyes and stare in her direction.

“Dulce? What are you doing here?” I asked in surprise. I saw the look of hesitation in her eyes as she sat beside me and grabbed my arm. I almost forgot that she hated heights. Although this one was just several feet away from the ground and had an almost flat top.

“I was so worried about you,” she said with a frown, her voice trembling slightly showing her unease. “You didn’t answer my calls. Eris didn’t know where you were so I thought something bad happened.” She stopped abruptly and squeezed her eyes shut. Once she opened it she said, “I searched for you everywhere. When I couldn’t find you, I ended up here. Please don’t ask me why in this place. I don’t know. My feet took me here.”

Her eyes darted downward momentarily before she glanced back to me, her face paling because of fear. I snaked my arms around her. “Don’t be scared,” I assured her. “I’m here.”

“But I don’t understand why here,” she said in confusion. “I don’t remember this place. But somehow it’s familiar. Have we been here before? Have I?”

I placed my palm on her cheek tenderly, noting how soft her face was and how great she smelled. “Yes you’ve been here before Dulce. It was a long time ago, back when we were kids. Don’t you remember this? Don’t you remember me?”

She shook her head and met my eyes. “I don’t.”

Standing up, I brushed myself from dirt and offered a hand to her. “Let me help you,” I said. She took my hand with hesitation and stood up. “Help me with what?”

“It’s about time that you remember Dulce.” I walked ahead of her, feeling a combination of depression and euphoria. Sadness because my father refused to tell me who I was, and happiness because Dulce would finally understand why I never told her anything. It was a bittersweet mixture and I didn’t know if my body and soul could take it one more minute.

Just as I was about to take another step, I heard Dulce yelling my name. Turning to her, I saw everything in slow motion. Her eyes were frantic as she slipped on a rock. Her arms shot forward as if trying to grasp something that wasn’t there. Her hair fluttered softly in the wind, so beautiful and horrific at the same time. Finally, I noticed her lips saying my name in a silent scream as she tumbled down below.