Chapter 35

He was walking so fast, lost in his thoughts, that he almost walked into his aunt where the paths connected.

“Jogging in the dark?” She smirked at him.

Konner blinked and looked down at her. “Uh...” He motioned in the direction he’d come from.

“How is Terah doing?”

“She’s uh...” He rubbed his hand over his forehead. “Doing good. Seems to be coping with it well.”

“She has a private pond to swim in, I’m sure she’s very pleased with that.”

“We’re you going to see her?”

His aunt nodded her head slowly, and that’s when he noticed her long hair wasn’t braided. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw it down. The brown was streaked with more grey than he recalled.

“Yes. As the alpha, I thought it was my job to check in on new clan members.” She smiled up at him. “And as a female, I understand what she’s going through, although I haven’t missed it these last fifty years.”

He watched her carefully, wondering if she still regretted that she never had children of her own when she was still able.

“You’re all mine,” she told him quietly as if she’d been able to read his thoughts. “Since when do you visit women at the pond?” She raised one accusing eyebrow at him.

Konner jammed his hands in his pockets, trying to focus past the way that Terah looked while floating beside the dock. “I, um, just thought I’d see if she needed anything.”

Alviva chuckled quietly. “And did she?”

He shook his head as a caught child would. “No. So we talked a bit.” He frowned. “Did you know she uses the tablet to find out what words mean?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “You know I’m not much for all the technology gadgets, but it seems to be helping her.” She leaned on her cane and looked up at him for a moment. “She’s very intelligent, I have no worries that she won’t be up to speed in a short time.”

“Yeah, she’s picking up on everything really fast.”

“What’s worrying you now?”

He blew out a breath. “She wants to use her profits to help others, even one-forms, abducted children...”

“I can see her wanting that, she’s very giving.”

Konner couldn’t deny that. “The logistics of it is just... I mean, I understand why she wants to, but with the way things are right now in our world...”

“Give her some time to understand fully, then talk to her about it again.”

“Yeah.”

“There was a time we did co-exist without issues.” Her tone told him she was remembering simpler times, as she did often.

“I know, but times have changed.” He glanced back along the path for probably the tenth time in the last minute. “It’s dangerous now.”

“She’s just trying to find her place, Konner.” She motioned around them. “In this new life she’s been given, in the clan.”

“I didn’t think of that.” She smirked at him. “Did you expect her to just spend her days swimming around? That’s fine until she’s adjusted, but she needs a purpose. Everyone does.”

“I don’t—I don’t know what she could do.” He rubbed his forehead again and wished for a swim instead of talk. “Maybe once she understands more.”

“Don’t underestimate her or try to fit her in a box.”

He gave her a blank look, “I wasn’t. I’m just—”

“Your head is so full of her you can’t even think straight.”

He scowled down at her, she wasn’t wrong, but he wasn’t ready to admit it out loud to anyone.

“I see the way you look at her and how she sees you.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’re already half in love with her...”

He shook his head. “I thought she’d died, when they found her.” He didn’t even know her, how could he be in love with her? “When they told me she was alive, I-I...”

“I know you feel you have to watch out for her, you feel that for all of us, but that’s not what I’m seeing now.”

He frowned as he looked down at her. “She could have a mate out there somewhere.” He clamped his mouth shut, not wanting to say it. “I’m not making the same mistake again...”

“You weren’t in love with Olanna, you were lonely and randy, and she was a female.”

“Randy? I don’t think that’s a word anyone uses anymore, Auntie.” He thought of how to distract her from this conversation.

“When you live as long as I have you can use any words you want, even if they’re not cool anymore.” She looked up at him, thoughts going through her gaze so fast he couldn’t figure them out. “You need to swim with her, nephew.”

Eyebrows high, he motioned in the direction of the pond.

“I didn’t mean right now, during her cycle, I mean after it’s gone.”

“I just want her to...”

“Adjust, adapt, settle in.” She nodded her head slowly, “it’s going to take some time and you know that.” Reaching up, she patted him in the center of his chest. “I know you put it off, every time, I don’t know why you do, but this time I think you should sooner than later.”

Looking over her head, he wished he could see the lake from here. The moonlight would be reflecting off it now and casting its spell of peace and serenity throughout the Sanctuary.

“I know you’re too noble to have a child without your mate, but she’s having one regardless.” She shook her head. “Never met a female more determined than she is to bring new life into the world.” She grasped the front of his shirt, drawing his attention back to her. “How are you going to feel if she does this with someone else? Have you thought of that?”

He scowled down at her, not really seeing her. “A bit,” he admitted.

“How did that bit make you feel?”

“Not good.”

“So maybe you should do something about it before it happens.”

He now understood how Lucus and Paxton felt when he was dragging answers out of them. “What if...”

Alviva grinned, “What ifs tend to take care of themselves when you stop procrastinating.” She patted his chest and stepped around him. “Go swim off your overthinking, Konner, then get some rest, your angst is wearing me out.”

Konner watched her walk along the path leading to the pond. His angst? When she went into the trees and he could only hear the click of her cane on the stones, he spun around and walked, no, basically stomped toward the lake.

The level of his stress was higher now after that conversation. He knew Terah wanted children; everyone knew that. Reeves wouldn’t agree to it, that he was certain of, he was pretty sure she scared the hell out of him. He stripped his shirt over his head and carried it clenched in his fist. What Reeves had shared about Nolyn still shocked him, they were going to have a child if no mates were found. He tossed the shirt to the ground and bent down to take off his boots.

What if a mate for one of them was found before this? They’d just walk away and not look back? He of all people knew how hard that was. One boot hit the sand after the other. No, he hadn’t loved Olanna, but he cared about her, still did. Straightening he frowned at the water, he cared about all the others here. Taking his jeans off he dropped them like they were trash, not caring about the phone in the pocket. Terah having children with someone else, there was no one if not Reeves. Well, there was Paxton, but he was too young. He walked out into the cool lake, normally it would settle him, just the water touching him, but that wasn’t the result this time. Paxton would be more than willing to try in a few years. He blinked and rushed further into the water, diving in with hopes the lake would wash that thought right out of his head.

There was no peace, no serenity as he moved with swiftness to the deepest part of the lake. He’d been caught in the draw of Terah’s magic when he’d left her, in the memory of her lips under his and now after his chat with his aunt, it felt like there was a storm moving through him.

He stopped swimming and let his body drift through the water. Why hadn’t he seen it? He did love her. How was that possible? It had been right there this whole time, while he’d been thinking it was her beauty, the ethereal way about her that drew him to her, it had been his heart all along. Turning, he looked around, like the water held some answer he just couldn’t see. What the hell was he going to do now? What if the next trip out, he brought back a male and he was hers? Then what?

Konner rushed to the surface, like he couldn’t breathe, which was insane, he could breathe under the water better than he could air. Gasping as the air hit his face, he wiped his hand over it and looked up at the stars. Snapping his head around, he looked back to the shore, had she known her little talk was going to push him to the brink of insanity? He glared at the empty space along the water’s edge, knowing his aunt, she’d be smiling to herself because she’d planted the seeds of suggestion in his head.

He rubbed his hand over the smooth ridges of the skin covering his chest as if it would comfort him. This is what he didn’t need, his mind distracted, his head filled with Terah. He had a lot of pieces moving right now and if things fit together the right way, he’d soon know where to find members of the water clan that needed his help. Not to mention the babies were coming and that was going to stir up everyone here. A new life tended to do that, making everyone look around and find a new purpose.

Closing his eyes, he let his weight pull him back beneath the surface, focusing on the water as it moved over him. When he opened his eyes, he saw a few fish swimming away from him. Normally, he’d be after them without thought, right now he couldn’t even find the motivation to do it.

It was crazy. Pure insanity, was the next thought that surfaced in the muck of confusion inside his mind. Terah would be through her cycle within the next day, likely. He could swim with her then and put it all to rest, the not knowing. Twisting to move along the water on his back, he looked up to the surface and was able to see the moon’s beams of light hitting it. Swimming with Terah was not going to change how he felt about her. Flipping backward, he moved toward the bottom of the lake, which meant he had to decide now, before any of it if he was willing to have children with her mates or not. Images of her carrying a child flashed through his mind like they were slides on a screen, she’d be breathtaking with the glow of motherhood.

He stopped like he’d hit an invisible wall. He couldn’t be thinking about her being pregnant, her health was improving, but it was far too early to take that risk of losing a baby and possibly her.

Several fish went past him, coming close to hitting him, and it shook him out of the muck of thoughts in his head. He looked in the direction they were fleeing and smiled, there was something in the lake that was a predator. He grinned, normally he’d look the other way, but right now, he needed a task to take his mind off things. Dipping down until he was almost touching the lakebed, he watched and waited.

A good chase and execution would suffice to get his thinking back on track.