Chapter Seventeen ~ Surveillance-1

Friday night turned to Saturday morning which turned into a day nestled between Felix's sheets. There was no class or phone calls to interrupt us this time—in fact, I was pretty sure both of our phones were still downstairs—instead our only focus was each other and the sound of rain pattering on the roof. My fingers traveled down Felix's jaw, my thumb softly tracing his lip before kissing him again. "I'm glad you stayed last night," he murmured, a huskiness to his voice from sleep. Even though I was hungover, I still felt euphoric as I nestled into his chest again, a smile on my face. "Me too." "You don't think we're rushing things by doing this again?" The tightness in my stomach that had started to build after Penelope's blackmail twisted. "I wish it were that simple." "Who hurt you, Preston?" he joked, rolling over so I had to face him again. I screwed up my nose. He knew half of the answer. My family. But he didn't know that I was trying to keep my distance so I didn't hurt him. Trying. It was so selfish that I was here, clinging to this tranquility so I didn't have to worry about all the other stuff tearing my heart apart. "Who hurt you," I said back. But it was less of a joke, more of genuine curiosity. I wanted to hear more about what he'd told me the other night. Understand him better. I felt his fingertips roll up my back, bringing goosebumps to my skin and making me shiver. He chuckled lightly. "You really want to hear about that?" I kissed his chest with featherlight gentleness, prompting him to continue. "It was actually about a year ago. It was the first time—well, the only time—I've really felt... love? That's lame. I know—" "No, it's not," I said quickly. As if it were even possible, Felix had just grown at least ten times hotter. I'd never met a guy competent in talking about his feelings, it was always blown off in some deeply ingrained masculine insecurity. "Anyway, I got really busy in senior year. I was trying to get a photography portfolio together, and I was working for Penelope to help build hers. She was dating my best friend, and Jada and Poppy were her best friends, so we were all spending heaps of time together. Paisley—that was her name—she didn't like Penelope." To be honest, from whatever my relationship was with Penelope, I didn't find her particularly likable either. I laced my fingers with Felix's, giving his hand a squeeze. "Anyway, long story short, I was waiting for her to come out of the shower one night when her phone went off with all these texts. Turns out she had a guy from Penelope's modelling agency on the side." "Shit," I said. I didn't know what else to say. The pain in his eyes was so raw. "It's part of what made me so happy to move. And for Penelope to go off and be famous, or whatever. She just reminds me of everything that happened. What I did." "It's not your fault," I said, frowning. "What she did isn't your fault at all." "It's just, I felt like I really trusted her, you know? That even though it was a rough time, she still felt the same..." He shook his head, his eyes closed. "Anyway, it was a year ago now. I've moved on." "I'm glad you can talk about it," I said. I was feeling a harsh swell in my chest, the kind I got when I knew I was falling deep. Why did Felix talking about his ex make me want him more? "You know, it doesn't feel the same now. It's like a memory. I've barely thought about her this semester. Especially since..." His voice trailed off, he didn't have to say it. He caught a ringlet of my hair and smoothed it from my face, kissing me again softly, his hands tight around my back as they pulled my body onto his. "Drugs." Penelope's pixelated figure moved so her clasped hand was beneath her chin in thought. "You think Cole does that stuff?" I asked. I'd just recounted my version of Friday night to her. Though it wasn't much, the fact I had something was such a contrast to our last few conversations that I swear she was relieved. "I mean..." she looked away. She had an iced tea to her right, and judging from the background it looked like she was somewhere much sunnier than here. "It's none of your business, but this could be typical of him. He's not very good at dealing with things, maybe..." She trailed off. I thought again at how impressed I was at Felix's ability to talk to me. It made me so guilty, I wished I could be as honest with him. Maybe I could be. Would he understand? The reality was, he wouldn't. I'd be just another girl betraying him because of Penelope Aldgate. Besides, I was meant to be married. The thought had me turning cold. "And the girl, tell me more about her," Penelope said, taking a sip from her straw. "She had bright purple hair. And they laughed together. I know she was trying to be subtle, but they got pretty close for her to exchange the... you know." "Huh," she said. "And then he disappeared." "Yeah, he wasn't there when Jada was upset and we had to leave." "What do you mean Jada was upset?" I filled her in on the rest of the night, Jada crying on the pavement outside. "Shit. I should have been there," Penelope said with a long sigh. "Okay. Forget Felix or whatever you're doing with him. I want you to follow Cole the whole day tomorrow." "Um, how am I supposed to do that?" "Follow him. From class. See where he goes, what he does after. Wear a hoodie or something, I don't know." I picked at my nails beneath my desk. "Seriously?" "Unless you want the whole world to know about your marital status, then you have to do it. Cute husband by the way, I found him on Facebook." I tried to disguise my horror. The last thing I wanted was Penelope digging into my past by going through him. Nic. "Fine," I said. I got to campus long before class started on Monday. Felix had offered to pick me up, but I'd declined under the pretense that I was running errands on my way in. I waited on the edge of the building, wearing a black raincoat. I felt horrible.