Chapter Thirteen ~ Roots-2

"His girlfriend?" I pressed. I had to take a slow breath to stop myself from sounding too desperate. I didn't want to come across as nosy, after all. "It's not really your business." My stomach sank. "I'm sorry," I said quickly, but too quickly. My heart was racing fast. Had I ruined this? Was doing Penelope's dirty work going to push whatever fragile comfort I had in this thing with Felix away? I couldn't lose it now. Not when I'd just lost Sebastian. Felix didn't say anything, he just stepped out of the car and I did the same. We walked to class in silence, and I kept trying to think of ways to start conversation again, to test whether things were okay or not. But nothing seemed right. There was only one seat left on each aisle occupied by his friends. I shuffled into the one beside Poppy while Felix chose Cole and Professor Malcolm muttered something about locking the doors after ten-am. "Cute jumper," Poppy said knowingly, pinching my sleeve. I smirked at her and opened my notebook, aware of Cole and Felix's hushed whispers in front of us. I was starting to scribble ideas for the final semester project when the doors opened again. I looked up from my paper only half interested, until I saw who it was. It wasn't a fellow student or even anyone I'd ever expected to see at college. Penelope Algate practically took command of the room the second she opened the door. I lost grip of my pen and it fell to the floor. I looked to Poppy and Jada beside me. Poppy's mouth was agape, but curled in the corners, like she was amused. Beside her, Jada's face had paled. Cole and Felix had already risen to their feet in front of us, and Professor Malcolm was looking pretty damn pissed. "Are you a student here? I don't recognize you." he said to Penelope. She gave him a dazzling smile. "No, sir, sorry. I'm just here because I forgot something that was mine." The professor narrowed his eyes, but her words were enough to have Cole slam his laptop shut and storm down the rows towards the door. "I'd suggest watching your grades, Mr. Kensington," Professor Malcolm muttered as the door closed beside them. I was gripping the fold out table tightly, my knuckles turning white. "That was Penelope," Poppy whispered, as if I hadn't already worked it out. "I can't believe she's back." That made two of us. I couldn't concentrate for the rest of class. I kept watching Felix fiddle with his phone in front of him, like he was waiting for something. I couldn't stand the thought that I'd pried too far this morning and now he'd lost interest. It was like that for him, wasn't it? From what Penelope said. He liked to keep things casual, after all. By the time the professor had ended the lecture I'd already packed my things, the inside of my lip raw from biting it. "Well, that was something," Felix said with a sigh. His eyes were on Jada and Poppy. I stopped myself from saying something—asking another probing question that would make Felix dislike me. I shoved my things in my bag and made my way down the aisle. "I need to go home," I said over my shoulder at Felix, whose figure I sensed following me. I waited for him to stop me, to try and reconcile whatever tension was now between us. Why did I have to pry this morning? Why did it have to be when Penelope was here? She should see me be on the ball, keeping a good watch on Cole so she could keep paying me. What if she fired me after this and I had to find another shitty job? Would Felix still like me if he really knew how I lived? The bus ride home was miserable. I kept wondering if Penelope would want to speak with me, or if she was too busy devouring precious time with Cole. I buried my head in my hands, wishing I could fall asleep and escape the buzz of thoughts through my mind. My brother. My mother. Felix. It was starting to feel like I was in too deep. But, I'd managed worse. By myself. I could do it again. I kept thinking over my financial situation. How, without Penelope's money or Sebastian to fall back on, I was in a pretty bad spot. I didn't like asking Seb for money, exactly, but there had been a few patchy months where I needed a few hundred dollars extra for rent. He'd easily sacrificed it, of course, always offering more, but I knew it was dirty money. It was money from my parents. I was such a hypocrite. Sebastian had called me several times, twice last night and already three times this morning. I'd muted his calls, instead choosing a moody playlist and turning my cell over in my hands. It stung bad that he'd tried to trap me with mom. I thought he was on my side. The familiar odor of alley trash and mildew told me nothing had changed in the apartment in my absence. It had felt so nice to sleep in a bed that wasn't falling apart last night, and to not worry about balancing the cold and hot tap on the shower this morning. I found myself daydreaming of the way it felt to wake up in Felix's arms, the scent of his sheets, the way his fingertips had bitten into my back as our bodies intertwined... I dozed off into the afternoon, and spent a while lying there afterward trying to convince myself to catch up on the college work I was missing. But I was too stressed. I kept checking my phone, waiting for something—anything—from Felix. I started writing out notes, my eyes checking the screen every so often, until it finally did ring. My heart swelled in relief as I lunged for it, until I saw the number on the screen. It was too late. I'd already pressed answer. "Joselyn," Penelope said. "Where are you?" "Oh—I'm at home," I said, trying to gauge the cause for the urgency. "I'm coming by. We need to talk right away. I'll pick you up in a half hour."