Chapter 54 The Silence of Sorrow pt1
The dancing flames in my fireplace entrance me.
They flicker and lick the bricks above them, turning the wood they feed off into bright red coals. Hearthfire is comforting and warming, something all people need to survive. It’s so different from dragon fire, almost as if it’s harmless. I feel like if I were to reach out and touch it, it wouldn’t burn me. It’s a dangerous thought, an intrusive idea that I know would cause me pain, but don’t I deserve it?
Nothing burns hotter than the flames of betrayal, except those flames don’t leave a mark. Not on the outside. Those flames burn and fester inside my chest, turning me black and dead and burning every desire within me until there’s only one left, one that beckons me with hatred hotter than any fire.
One forged in one moment. One choice.
Revenge.
I have to do what I came here to do and stop letting distractions get in my way.
I’m here to learn how to kill dragons, to avenge Elsie.
I stare into the flames until my eyes burn with the need to blink. I haven’t thought about the events of that day in so long. Just held on to my desperate need to fix what I did. But now, unbidden, the memories flood back and threaten to drown me.
“Psst…Anara? Did you get it?”
Elsie is leaning close to me, her golden hair brushing my cheeks as it blows freely in the warm afternoon wind.
Today is a rare day for Stormcoast, the skies are clear. The sun is out and warming our backs as we walk arm in arm to the secret grove in the woods we go to every time we’re here. Zaries found it for us and told no one. It’s our place, our secret, where we can all be ourselves without any guard or king and queen to judge us.
I can’t stop myself from grinning wider with every step. I know Zaries is waiting for us and I’m eager to see him again. Over the years the letters we’ve written to each other made me feel so close to him. I know things about him that no one else knows, and Elsie doesn’t care to know what he says. Zaries is completely in love with Elysandra, as I am in love with him..
“I got it,” I tell her quietly, shifting my skirts so she can see the heavy outline hidden beneath them. I was able to sneak into the private cellar and steal a bottle of the finest wine that Queen Serena could afford. At my princess’s behest, we’ll be drinking in the grove with the prince. I try not to imagine if it was just he and I alone…what might happen?
“You’re a legend, Anara.” Elysandra giggles, wrapping her arms around me and hugging me tightly. “I’m going to need all the liquid courage I can get to act like I know anything about him!”
“I’ll help you, Elsie. He won’t ever realize.”
“I love you, Anara. You know that, right?”
“I know it, and I love you too.”
Elsie pauses, pulling me close to her and pressing her forehead against mine. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Ana. You’re the closest thing to a sister I’ll ever have.”
“I feel the same, Elsie. I always have.”
We stand there, embracing, breathing in each other’s oxygen for a moment before Elysandra finally breaks the silence and grabs my hands. “Let’s go see what trouble we can get in before the guards realize we’re gone!”
Elsie starts to run, pulling me behind her. I revel in the moment, watching her golden hair fly behind her, adoring the way it reflects the summer sun and seems to make her glow. Her pink gown brushes the wildflowers as she floats through them effortlessly. She turns, smiling at me brilliantly.
She’s so beautiful.
She’s everything.
I love her more than I love myself.
We break through the last few trees and stumble into the grove, laughing. It’s shaded here, the clearing dappled with daylight that dances through the fragrant blooming trees surrounding us.
Zaries stands in the center in front of a blanket that’s spread over the grass. It’s covered in various treats from savory to sweet, but my eyes long for only one thing; his eyes to be on me. They aren’t, of course, they’re on Elsie, and the love in them makes me grin from ear to ear. He really loves her, truly, and that means he loves me. I’m okay with that, despite how much I wish his gaze was on me alone.
Zaries rushes forward and wraps his arms around Elsie’s waist, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around in a circle. They’re both laughing when they stop and as he slowly lowers her to the ground, they share the most beautiful kiss I’ve ever seen.
I watch, enraptured, touching my own lips as I study the way their tongues brush and the way Elsie’s cheeks flush with heat.
Zaries breaks the kiss first and presses his lips to her forehead. “Are you ready to marry me, Elysandra? There are mere days between us and the bed chamber…”
I swallow hard, imagining what lies ahead of them. I feel heat pool low in my abdomen, a feeling that has become more and more familiar over the years. It happens whenever I think of Zaries, and now it’s happening as I think of them together.