Chapter 43 The Shadow Barracks pt1
The honey-sweet burn of mead slips down my throat in a pained swallow. I let my eyes roam around the common room in the shadow barracks and watch all the slayers I killed only hours before drink and celebrate with smiles on their once-dead faces.
Yesterday, I wanted to see what was beyond Ember’s portrait. I wanted to know what the shadow barracks were like. Now? I wish I never knew. My hands still shake as I set my copper cup down on the table in front of me. I fold my legs underneath me seeing as the black cushions all over the floor serve as the only seating.
The whole room looks like the inside of a large black tent. Pillows and rugs are strewn between plates of food and drink. Slayers mill about, some lounging, some…kissing…
I avert my eyes, unable to keep watching the jovial people celebrate this first day of training. Apparently, it’s like a holiday for them. Every year they get to do this to the new trainees, except if a trainee dies they don’t get healed by Felonious. Nor do the ones who survive.
I touch my cheek gently, marking the scratches as if taking the toll of the damage. The cuts on my body have been bandaged with cotton wraps, but the pain lingers.
I can see Oberon from across the room talking to a group of very loud, very strong men. He’s bandaged even thicker than me, looking more like he’s been wrapped for a funeral than bandaged after battle.
Our eyes lock and he smiles before dismissing himself from the crowd and slowly making his way over. I watch him, staring without a care as he grows nearer. When he stands over me and holds out his hand I take it willingly, squeezing it gently as he pulls me to my feet.
“Let me show you my room?” he asks.
I can only nod. After the events of the day, all I want is quiet. I want to think, I want to study everything that happened today. All the lives I took… My body feels like it’s still stabbing, still slashing, as if I’m still there. As if I’m still killing people in the dark.
Oberon leads me down a narrow hallway and no one stops us. There's some snickering as we leave, some people elbowing each other suggestively, but we both ignore it. Whatever they’re thinking, it’s the last thing on my mind. He leads me to an unmarked heavy wooden door and pulls me inside a dark room.
The walls are stone, with one thin window that has a view of a rock wall on the outside. There’s a rickety bed and a small round table beside it with a lone candle in the center.
Oberon releases my hand and lights the candle before sitting on his bed with a sigh.
I watch him as I let my back hit the door with a thud. Tears are coming to my eyes, I can feel the burn. I suck in my lips and try to hold them back, try to be the warrior I was trained to be, but they spill down my cheeks, regardless.
“Oh, Ana,” Oberon murmurs as he stands up and walks over to me.
I watch him, vision blurred, as he braces his forearm on the door above my head and lifts my chin with his other hand. I can feel my chin shake against his fingers, feel my body wanting to give in and sob, but his eyes are calm. The blue of his irises reminds me of the sky over the ocean in Stormcoast, which makes my gut clench with homesickness.
“We survived, Ana, not only that, but we thrived. We harnessed the power quicker than anyone ever has, the other slayers told me. We’re legends, Ana.”
“We killed them, Obie, all of them,” I whimper. “He let us kill his whole squad to teach us. It’s… Oberon, it’s fucking monstrous!”
“He brought them all back, Ana. He knew the whole time that he could.” He sighs and settles his chin on top of my head. “It’s real monsters we have to face, Ana. The captain showed us a taste of that cruelty today.”
I nod, pressing my hands to his bandaged chest.
“Will they all be this awful?” I ask, my voice small.
“For your sake, I hope not.” He sighs, placing a kiss between my brows. “Sit with me?”
Blindly, I follow him, settling beside him on his bed and letting him wrap his strong, familiar arms around me.
“When they took you,” his voice cracks as his chest rises with a deep breath. “I thought you were dead. I thought you were gone for good this time.”
I look up at him, wiping tears from my face. “You said you couldn’t lose me again, Obie. What do you mean? I never left you.”
“You did leave me, Anara,” he says, his voice growing harder. He tugs me closer until I’m practically in his lap and then cups my face. “You left with my cousin for her wedding and you never came back. I had to hear about everything from Obsidian Reach. I couldn’t come to you, couldn’t help you. My father said we had to keep the kingdom stable while Avarica mourned. In the span of a day, I lost my cousin, my uncle, and then…the girl I was in love with.”
Before I can think to reply, Oberon’s lips are on mine. Hot and needy, desperate.
“Anara,” he whispers against my lips.
My mind goes blank, the sensation of his mouth bringing me back to the trial when he stole a kiss at the barrier. I thought it was just goodbye, that it meant nothing, but as I feel his own cheeks wet with passionate tears, I know better.
My hands shake as he kisses me, lost between wanting to wrap around his shoulders and climb in his lap and wanting to push him away. I think of Zaries, of my love for him for all these years. I never even looked at Oberon this way before, but his soft lips tempt me with a desire I don't understand.
“Obie,” I try to say between his kisses, but his name comes out garbled.
“Anara, I’ve loved you since we were children. Now we’re here, we’re together. Anara, I—”
“Oberon, stop,” I say, pushing him gently away.
I watch his face go from shock to dismay and then crumble into despair.
“I’m too late, aren’t I?” he asks, letting go of me and running his hands through his thick blond hair.
I scoot away a little and touch my lips, still in shock and tingling from the passion of that kiss. “Oberon—”
“It’s Zaries, isn’t it? He’s the one you want, right? You can’t tell me it’s Malachi, I couldn’t handle it,” he laughs, trying to hide his heartbreak.
“Obie, please?” I beg, taking his hands in mine.
“Ana, if you tell me I don’t stand a chance, I’ll back off. But you need to know I joined the slayers for you. I’d die for you, Anara. I’d kill for you. I’d kill Zaries if it wouldn’t start a war, just to have you as my own.” He chuckles wryly, his thumb stroking the back of my hand. “But if there’s a chance, Anara, I’ll love you better than anyone else ever could.”
“Oberon, I just can’t… It’s not Zaries, it’s destiny. I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve happiness. The only reason I’m still alive is because I have to avenge Elysandra. I’m only alive to kill the silver dragon and I’m meant to die with him. Die for what I did.”
“No! What happened to the princess is not your fault!” Oberon shouts, cupping my face in both hands. “How could you have faced a dragon alone? Dying for her is not your destiny. Your destiny is for you to choose!”
I tug away, breathing hard, and lick my lips. My body wants nothing more than to sink into the warmth he’s offering and forget everything, but my mind won't let me. “It was my fault, Oberon. It was my fault.”
He shakes his head, leaning in again, but I slip out of his grasp and stand.
“I need to get back to my room. It’s late,” I say shortly, turning and walking toward the door. I have to get out of here, get away from him, before my body surrenders to the passion it’s craved for so long. I can feel Oberon’s desire like a physical touch and while I want to fall into his arms and discover where this could go, I know I can’t allow it. I’m only here to learn how to kill dragons and avenge my friend. That’s it.
“Anara, if you change your mind, I’m here. I’ve always been here, always in love with you,” he says quietly.
I glance over my shoulder, holding my tears back so he can’t see my distress. “Goodnight, my friend,” I whisper.
I stumble up the stairs of the tower blindly, the events of the day replaying in my mind. The death, the shadows, Oberon’s desperate kisses… Too much happened in one day. Too much for anyone to handle. I want to collapse in my hammock and pass out, forgetting it all.
When I push through the door I stop in my tracks, blinking in confusion.