Chapter 44 Something soft in a violent world (second half)
Lina’s POV
“No,” I breathed.
And then I repeated the test. Again. Again. Again. But it all came out with the same results.
The fourth one, I grabbed it, like maybe closer inspection would change it. But It didn’t.
“No, no, no…”
A knock sounded at the door and I nearly dropped it.
“Lina?” Bella’s voice, soft. “Are you all right? You're taking too long.”
I couldn’t answer.
She opened the door a crack, then froze when she saw my face.
“It’s positive. Four of them came out positive,” I said, but it came out like a confession.
Bella stepped in slowly. Her eyes dropped to the test in my hand. She exhaled, not surprised.
I laughed once, shaky and hollow. “Of course it is. Because why wouldn’t it be?”
She moved closer but didn’t touch me. “Sit.”
“I don’t want to sit,” I cracked. The tough shell I had finally began cracking.
“You’re swaying again.”
“I’m fine,” I shattered, as the tears burned my eyes, my vision becoming blurry.
“You’re not.”
I sank onto the edge of the tub anyway, the cold porcelain seeping through my clothes. The last test rested in my palm like it weighed a hundred pounds.
“I can’t,” I whispered.
“You can,” she said gently.
“In this house? In this life?” I shook my head. “You know what happens around here. You’ve seen it.”
“Yes,” she said quietly. “I have.”
“And you still think this is a blessing?”
“I think it’s a life,” she replied. “What you call it comes later.”
I pressed my lips together, fighting the burn behind my eyes. “He can’t know. Not now, not ever.”
Bella hesitated. “Donna—”
“No.” I looked up at her. “If he knows, everything changes. He’ll lock this place down even tighter. He’ll stop sleeping entirely. He’ll start killing people just for breathing wrong. This would draw in more enemies, Kailen would put in everything to end both of us. He has been trying, but with the news of me carrying Carlino’s baby, everything would become worse. I don't want my child to grow up in this kind of environment.”
“That might happen anyway.” That was a brutal truth, blunt, no sugarcoating.
“Firstly, because of Kailen’s flame to get revenge. Then because of me,” I shot back. “And now because I handed him another thing to lose.”
Bella fell quiet.
“I need time,” I said. “To think. To figure out… what this means. For me. Not for the empire. Not for the men with guns and blood in his hands. For me.”
She nodded slowly. “All right. We say nothing.”
Relief and terror hit me at the same time. I looked down at my stomach, still flat, still giving nothing away.
“There’s a heartbeat in there already,” Bella said softly. “Whether you’re ready or not.”
I let out a shaky breath. “I don’t even know how to be ready.”
\~~~
That night, the house was louder than usual. Men coming and going. Doors opening. Low voices in the halls. Carlino was back from his meetings.
I stayed in the bedroom, lights dim, the test hidden deep in the trash beneath tissues and cotton pads like it was something shameful.
The silence was devouring my thoughts and feeding me with something hollow until my phone buzzed.
Carlino: You still awake?
I stared at the screen for a long time before answering.
Yeah.
A pause. Then:
Can I come up?
My hand drifted to my stomach again. This time, I didn’t pull it away.
Not yet, I typed.
Another pause.
Carlino: Is everything okay?
I swallowed.
Yeah. Just tired.
The lie came easier than I wanted it to. I set the phone down and looked around the room—the heavy curtains, the guarded gates outside, the distant echoes of men who solved problems with bullets and cash.
A few months ago, life was easier. I never thought I’d get caught up in something this complicated. I’ve always wanted kids. That dream started with Ruciano. I used to imagine holding my own baby — tiny hands, little feet, small, soft features. Something so delicate it almost didn’t feel real.
Now I’m finally having one.
Just not with the man I thought it would be.
It’s with the last person I ever expected — a Mafia king, a man whose life is ruled by blood, power, and guns.
“How,” I whispered quietly, “am I supposed to raise a child in a world ruled by blood, guns, and drugs?”