Chapter 134 The cruelty of finally letting go

Chapter 134 The cruelty of finally letting go
Lina’s POV

As he walked farther away from me, he continued fading, until I lost sight of him.

Not literally because I could still see the outline of his back disappearing into the distance, tall and composed like he hadn’t just ripped my chest open. But everything around me blurred slowly after that. The sounds of children laughing. The evening breeze. The rustling leaves above us.

All of it became distant.

I could only hear my heartbeat. Loud. Painfully loud.

It echoed inside my ears like something breaking apart over and over again. My chest hurt so badly I almost pressed my hand against it to make sure my heart was still there.

Because it genuinely felt like Carlino had taken it with him again.

Years later…

And he still had that kind of power over me.

My throat tightened painfully. I tried swallowing it down. Tried forcing myself to breathe normally. But God… How was I supposed to breathe after hearing him say there was no “we” anymore?

How was I supposed to stand there pretending I was fine after seeing the love in his eyes while he walked away anyway?

That hurt the most. Not the rejection. Not the distance. But the fact that he still loves me and believed leaving was somehow the right thing.

“Mama!” Rotha’s voice snapped through my thoughts loudly.

I blinked quickly, forcing myself back into reality just as she came running toward me at full speed. Erla followed behind her, slower and more cautious like always.

“Mama, Grandpa is here!” Rotha yelled excitedly.

The moment she reached me, I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around her tightly. Too tightly. Because suddenly I needed something solid to hold onto before I completely fell apart.

“Mama?” Rotha’s voice softened immediately. “What happened?”

I buried my face briefly against her shoulder. And that was when I realized tears were already rolling down my cheeks.

Warm.

Endless.

I hadn’t even noticed when they started falling.

“Mama…” Erla’s small voice came this time. Worried.

I pulled back quickly, wiping my face with trembling fingers before forcing out a smile.

“I’m okay, babies.”

Both girls stared at me unconvinced. Rotha narrowed her eyes dramatically. “Did that uncle bite you?”

Despite everything, a weak laugh escaped me. “What?”

“The serious uncle,” she clarified confidently. “The one you were talking to.”

Erla gasped. “Rotha!”

“What?” she defended instantly. “Maybe he did! Mama is crying.”

“No, baby,” I said softly, cleaning my cheeks again. “He didn’t bite me.”

No.

If anything, it would have hurt less if he had.

Instead, he had stabbed straight through my chest with calm words and tired eyes before walking away like he was forcing himself to survive it too.

“Are you sure?” Rotha asked suspiciously.

“Yes.”

“Because Uncle Lucy’s neighbor bit somebody once.”

“Rotha,” Erla whispered in horror.

“What? Mama should know dangerous things.”

I laughed again despite myself, shaking my head.

“Of course I’m sure. A thousand percent sure.”

Rotha studied me for another second before nodding seriously. “Okay. But if he bites people secretly, tell Grandpa.”

“Noted.”

I stood slowly, taking a deep breath before reaching for both their hands.

“Come on. Let’s go meet Grandpa.”

The moment I turned around, my steps halted instantly. Dad stood only a few feet away from us. Watching me. His expression alone almost broke me again.

Because fathers know.

No matter how old you become… somehow they still know when something inside you is hurting.

“Pumpkin,” he called softly.

I immediately looked away. “I’m fine, Dad,” I lied quickly with a bright smile that even I knew looked terrible.

Silence.

Then he sighed quietly.

“Lina,” he said gently, walking closer with his arms slightly open. “I saw him.”

My chest tightened.

“You don’t have to lie to me.”

That was all it took for me to completely soften. I walked straight into his arms before the tears returned fully.

This time I couldn’t stop them.

I hugged him tightly while sobs clawed their way out of my chest, ugly and shaky and humiliating.

Dad didn’t say anything immediately.

He simply held me.

One hand patting my back slowly while the other rested protectively against my head like he used to do when I was little.

And somehow that made me cry even harder.

“Mama is leaking everywhere,” Rotha whispered loudly.

“Rotha!” Erla scolded.

“What? Tears are technically leaking.”

Dad actually laughed softly above me.

I covered my face in embarrassment.

“I hate all of you.”

“No you don’t,” Rotha replied proudly.

\---

Later that night, after the girls had finally fallen asleep, I sat outside on the balcony wrapped in one of Dad's sweaters.

The night air felt cold against my skin. Or maybe the coldness was just inside me already. Dad walked out quietly holding two mugs before handing one to me.

“Tea,” he said.

“Please tell me there’s wine hidden in it.”

“Tempting. But no, I wouldn't risk taking your Mom's theatrics this night.”

I sighed dramatically before taking the mug anyway.

For a while, neither of us spoke. The silence between us wasn’t uncomfortable though. It never had been. Dad leaned back in his chair before finally speaking.

“So,” he said carefully. “Tell me everything.”

And I did. I told him about how I saw Carlino again. About the school. About the girls saying he was the one who had protected them from Ruciano. About the bar. About Ace Rodriguez. About the throne.

And finally…

About the way he looked at me while telling me to let him go.

Dad stayed quiet through all of it. Only listening. By the time I finished, my throat hurt again.

“I don’t understand him,” I whispered tiredly. “If he left that life already… then what’s stopping him now? I would have accepted him if he wanted us back.”

Dad exhaled slowly. “Guilt.”

I looked over at him.

“He genuinely believes he destroyed your life, Lina.”

“But he didn’t.”

“But in his head, he did.” Dad’s voice remained calm. “And men who carry that kind of guilt don’t know how to accept happiness easily.”

I looked down at my tea silently.

“He still loves me,” I whispered.

“I know.” The confirmation nearly shattered me again.

Dad reached over, squeezing my hand gently. “But love alone doesn’t always fix damaged people.”

I swallowed hard. “That sounds unfair.”

“It is.”

I laughed bitterly. “Great.”

He smiled faintly before becoming serious again.

“Pumpkin… if Carlino truly wants to stay away from you, even after walking away from that world… then maybe you need to respect that decision.”

I immediately shook my head. “No.”

Dad raised an eyebrow slightly. “No?”

“He doesn’t get to decide everything alone,” I argued quietly. “He doesn’t get to love me and push me away at the same time like I’m some fragile thing that’ll break. Even though he always treated me like I was fragile..”

“You are breaking.”

The words hit directly. I looked away instantly.

Dad sighed softly. “I know you still love him,” he continued gently. “I’ve known for years.”

My chest tightened painfully.

“That’s why no other man ever stayed in your life long enough to matter.”

I stayed silent. Because he was right. Every date. Every attempt. Every man who tried getting close to me. None of them ever stood a chance. Not when part of me still belonged to Carlino. That's why I still can't accept Victor, even after knowing he loves me so much.

Dad looked at me carefully.

“But you can’t spend the rest of your life waiting for someone who is choosing distance.”

The tears returned quietly this time. Not dramatic. Just painful.

“What if he comes back again?” I asked softly.

Dad gave me a sad smile. “Then let that be his decision to make.”

I stared ahead silently. Deep down… I hated that he was right. Because what else could I do?

Force Carlino to stay? Force him to believe he deserved happiness? Force him to stop punishing himself?

No.

I couldn’t.

And maybe that was the cruelest part of loving someone. Sometimes all you could do was let them walk away even when every part of you wanted to hold on.

Dad stood slowly before kissing my forehead.

“Get some sleep, Pumpkin.”

“I’ll try.”

He paused before adding lightly, “And please don’t let Rotha convince you that Carlino is secretly a vampire.”

I blinked. “What?”

“She asked me if the serious uncles who appear from shadows and smokes drinks blood.”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“…I’m raising chaos, Dad.”

“You absolutely are.”

\~~~

The following morning felt strangely normal. Too normal. Like I hadn't just walked through pain last night. Perhaps it was because I decided to make peace with my pains, to just live for my daughters.

I got the girls ready for school while pretending my chest didn’t still ache. Mom couldn't because she complained of migraine. Rotha somehow wore two different socks. Erla complained about it for ten full minutes.

Rotha argued it was “fashion.”

“It looks ridiculous,” Erla said.

“It looks artistic.”

“You said that last week when you colored Aunt Ana’s dog blue.”

“He looked happier.”

“Girls,” I warned tiredly while grabbing the Dad's car keys to hand it over to them.

Both immediately quieted.

“…Sorry, Mama.”

Dad drove them to school while I headed toward work alone.

The morning traffic wasn’t terrible yet.

Soft music played quietly through the speakers as I drove down the familiar road, one hand resting against the steering wheel.

And for the first time since yesterday…

I allowed myself to think about him again.

Carlino.

Ace.

Whatever name he wanted to hide behind. I thought about his eyes. His voice. The way he looked at the girls. The way he said Tesoro like the word still belonged to me. My grip tightened unconsciously against the steering wheel.

God.

I missed him. I missed him so much it physically hurt. My vision blurred slightly as tears gathered again.

Stupid.

I quickly blinked them away.

Focus, Lina.

I inhaled slowly before reaching toward the radio—

Then suddenly—

A loud horn blasted violently from my left. My eyes widened. Everything happened too fast. A truck. Speeding. Too close. Far too close.

My breath stopped instantly.

The world jerked sideways violently as tires screeched against the road.

And then—