L Y O V
What the fuck have I done?
I sit in the bar with a glass of untouched scotch, battling with the demons in my head. Milana’s face is all I can see.
She was petrified, and I was the reason.
One glance at the clock tells me I’ve been sitting in this bar for about four hours. The bartender doesn’t seem too happy about it, but I can’t find it in me to care.
Milana is alone in the cabin, waiting for my return. What the hell am I going to say to her?
I fucked up. The way I snapped at her was unwarranted, but the text from Andrei panicked me. It’s part of the reason why I’m sitting in this bar. For the first time in ten years, I’m on the edge of caving.
Andrei wants a photo of Milana. When I saw the text, something inside of me snapped. He detailed how he wanted her to look. I pull my phone out and reread it, clenching my jaw as I do.
Tie her to a chair, naked, and beat her up. I want her bloodied and bruised. You know what to do. I need those photos in the morning.
The mere thought of her seeing that text or believing I’d do that to her made me snap. Instead, I hurt her anyway. When I saw the blood run down her neck, it snapped me out of it. The shame I feel for treating her that way is unbearable. I couldn’t say anything.
Milana deserves better than me. It’s been a week since I kidnapped her from the club. A week since I first punished her over my knee. Andrei will kill me when he finds out I have no intention of sending him those photos. The problem is, I’ve got no idea what I’m going to do.
Milana won’t want me after what I did earlier.
“Buddy, are you going to drink that?” the bartender asks.
I meet his gaze and narrow my eyes, which is enough to scare him.
He steps back and pales slightly, holding his hands up. “I was just asking.”
I glance back at the drink, staring into the liquid I haven’t touched for ten years. The smell is goading me to taste it. I shake my head and push it across the bar. “Nah, I’m out of here.” I throw a ten-dollar bill down on the counter and get down from the bar.
It’s about time I faced my demons. It’s about time I got my life back on track. Pain has been my companion for too long, and I need to make things right with Milana. She’s the first good thing to happen to me in the last decade, and I don’t intend to throw that away.
AS THE CABIN comes into view, my stomach sinks. There’s not one light on in the place. I sigh heavily, wondering if Milana is okay. The way I snapped was wrong, and it scares me. I could have killed her in a fit of rage.
I pull the van up in front of the cabin and turn on the engine, staring it. The afternoon is drawing to a close, and the temperatures are rapidly dropping. I unlock the front door and step inside.
Milana isn’t sitting in the living room watching television like she usually is when I run errands. The place is eerily quiet.
My brow furrows as I make my way toward the bedroom. Before I even get there, I know something is wrong. An ice-cold breeze gusts through the hallway from the bedroom, making my heart rate spike. I rush into the bedroom, and my stomach dips.
The window is unlocked and open. Milana has escaped me. A mix of so many emotions hit me all at once. I feel rage, sadness, and panic.
I can’t blame her for taking the opportunity—not after what I did.
Fuck.
I punch the cabin wall, cracking the wood and forcing a splinter into my knuckles. The pain grounds me and clears my mind. It is what I need. We’re miles away from any civilization, and she won’t make it to town on foot.
Even if she left just after me, she’d be wandering the damn forest alone and cold in the dark.
This is all my fault. I’ve been so distracted by Milana that I didn’t check the locks on the windows.
I’ve let down two people—Milana and Andrei.
I rush for the front door, dashing out into the cold dusk. Darkness is drawing in on us quickly, and the girl I’ve come to care for could die out here.
“Milana,” I shout her name, hoping beyond hope that she will reply.
All that returns to me from the trees is the howling of the wind. I rush to the van and grab out a flashlight, turning it on and walk toward the window. Milana’s footprints are evident in the muddy ground, and there’s a trail leading into the forest.
I glance between the van and the tracks, wondering what option is best. If she’s been walking for almost four hours, she could be too far away for me to find.
I’ve got no option but to follow her trail and hope she didn’t go far. The tracks are clear for a good mile through the forest as I jog alongside them. It’s faster and keeps my body temperature up, despite the plummeting winter temperatures.
I grunt as the trail goes cold. Milana’s footprints are no longer visible as the terrain turns rocky. I grit my teeth, searching the area for any more signs. Milana could be anywhere from here. It will be like searching for a needle in a haystack.
“Milana,” I shout her name again, shivering as the wind picks up through the trees.
A flake of snow drifts down and lands on my nose, making more panic rise inside of me. Milana is going to die out here if I don’t get to her quickly. The temperatures tonight are supposed to drop way below freezing. The crunch of a tree branch close by draws my attention to it, and I follow the sound. Only to find it’s a fox that scuttles away as I come into
view.
A scream rings out over the howling wind, and it makes my heart race. I rush in that direction, praying Milana’s alright. If I lose her, life won’t be worth living.
“Milana, where are you?” I shout.
A muffled yell calls out from my left. “Here.”
I follow her voice, feet pounding hard through the muddy ground. My body tenses as I find her, gripping hold of a branch and half-submerged in water. She’s fallen into an ice-cold river, and the branch is the only thing stopping her from being swept away by the current.
“Fuck, hold on. I’m coming.”
I step down toward the bank of the river, making sure not to slip myself. I anchor myself with my back foot and then lean toward her. “Can you pull your other hand up and grab mine?” I ask.
She tries, but her hand is a couple of inches too short. “I can’t reach.”
“One moment.” I pull my jacket off and fling it out toward her. “Try and grab my jacket.”
She does as I say, gripping hold of my jacket. “On three, I’m going to try and tug you out.”
She nods and swallows hard. The fear in her emerald eyes is striking. “One, two, three.” I use all my strength to pull her up onto the bank.
She falls to her knees, gasping for breath. Her lips are blue, and she is shivering. I need to get her warm and quick. I grab her shirt and rip it from her body. “Trousers off, quick.”
She’s shivering too much to get them off. I unbutton them and force them down her hips, leaving her naked. I pull off my shirt. “Put this on.”
She does as I say, wrapping the shirt around her. “And this.” I pass her the jacket.
She doesn’t protest, wrapping the jacket around her too.
My arms go around her waist, and I hoist her over my shoulder. “Come on. We need to get you back and warm.”
A part of me regrets not having the van. She needs to get back quickly, and it’s over a mile walk. I break into a jog, knowing we haven’t got much time. She will die if I’m not quick. The mere thought fires me up and forces me to push on harder. It’s tough. Milana isn’t light, and the cold is getting to me, but the only thing I can think about is getting her warm.
I can’t lose her.
It takes too damn long to get back to the cabin. Once there, every limb in my body aches, and I can hardly catch my breath. I set Milana down inside the cabin, and she stumbles slightly. I pull her into my chest and try to warm her with my body heat. Her lips are blue, and she’s as cold as ice. After a short while, I have an idea. “I need to run you a warm bath.” I grab her hand, pulling her toward the bathroom.
My heart is racing as I turn on the faucets to the tub, cursing the water for not being instantly warm. Once it starts to run warm, I plug it with the stopper. This girl almost scared me half to death with her escape attempt.
Luckily, despite walking over a mile, she hadn’t gone too deep into the forest. Much further and the chance of saving her would have been slim. I can’t bear thinking about it. Milana stands by the sink, shivering with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Come here,” I order.