Chapter 19 A man's touch
I gasped lightly, instantly let go of his hand, and sat up. He was sitting beside me with a towel in his hand and a bowl of water on the nightstand.
When did he even get here? And what was he doing?
“Why are you surprised to see me?”
I couldn’t even form words in my head to say. My brain was in disheveled and in chaos.
“I’m sorry, Alpha. It’s just…” An ache hit my head. It was so strong that it made me stop talking and hold my hand. It felt as though someone was hammering on my head with something.
“Lie down and rest.”
I didn’t object. I laid back on the bed, looking everywhere but his face.
Yes, I was scared of him. I couldn’t afford not to be, not after what had happened in the afternoon. He chopped off a man's head for goodness' sake.
I still remember how slowly the head rolled and stopped right in front of me.
I covered my mouth when I felt the urge to throw up.
“Tara, look at me.” He commanded but I couldn’t. I feared him greatly, I couldn’t stand his gaze. He lifted my chin gently until our eyes met.
“Are you afraid of me?”
Without hesitation, I nodded. A small smile appeared on his lips. He left my chin, dipped the towel in water, squeezed out the water, and continued rubbing my head with it.
“That’s it. You should be. I’m not who you think I am. I am the wicked, soulless, merciless, and ruthless man you’ve been hearing about. I kill without reason and I don’t regret it.”
There was a saying that people who claimed to be wicked were actually the ones with the best kind of heart.
“Would an evil person take care of a sick person? Or save their life?” I asked in a low voice.
“Everything I do is for my benefit. I have never cared about anyone else. I’m a selfish person, you know.”
I guess that was true. He wouldn’t have saved me if it wasn’t beneficial to him. Besides, I was just a ‘property' of his. He had made it clear. Even Mason told that Eron man that I belonged to the Alpha. I was nothing but a pawn in the grand scheme of his.
When he was done, he dropped the towel. My eyes darted to the clock, it was just nine in the night. How had I slept for so long?
The Alpha stood and walked to the decorated mirror. He stared long at it. For a split second, I saw an emotion—sadness—cross his face but it didn’t last before it regressed to the cold one.
“Do you know why I asked you to stay here, despite not wanting anyone around?”
“Ma Rose and Sir Mason mentioned the same thing. But I don’t know why.” I managed to sit up. I was so thirsty and hungry.
He gave me a funny look.
“It’s beta or gamma. Not ma or sir or whatever you address them as. And yeah, it’s because I wanted to monitor you closely. The outside world is a major distraction. Take Mason for example.”
Let the poor guy breathe… I almost laughed. Mason wasn’t a distraction as the Alpha made him out to be. He was just someone who wanted me to be comfortable. But of course, I couldn’t tell him that. He knew him better, in and out.
“You don’t need that. All you need is me.”
My eyes fell on my fingers.
“I have people looking into the murder case. Nolan knows you didn’t do it and is trying to cover up the real culprit.”
“What?” I immediately stood up from the bed. “That bastard!” I exclaimed, but I regretted my decision to stand because of the ache that ambushed me.
“Do you know who the real murderer is?” I asked him, holding my head from falling off. Because it felt like it wanted to.
“Whoever it is, they’re hiding them well. But nothing is hidden forever. I will find out eventually.”
Thinking about it, nobody goes into the pack house except the maids. I’ve never seen Nolan or his Luna or any stranger there before. It was just us maids. That means…
“Don’t think too much about it. Allow me to do my job. Your job is to make sure they all pay for accusing you wrongly. You need to get strong and show them that being an omega isn’t a weakness. That said,” He turned to me. We were only three feet, I guess, from each other.
“We have pack trainings every evening. There, you will learn how to fight and protect yourself. Everyone in this pack, contributes to something. And you, Tara, won’t be exempted just because you’re new. You will be attending the evening training, going for pack runs, and pack patrols.”
“Alpha, I don't think that will be possible. I—”
“Whether you have a wolf or not doesn’t matter. You can skip the last two but the training is necessary.”
What? How did he know I was now wolfless?
I once had a wolf, and that was how I knew Alpha Nolan was my mate. After the severing of ties, I stopped feeling her presence totally. I used to heal before—slowly, but surely—but after that humiliation, it stopped. None of my wounds healed. I was nothing short of a weak, fragile human being.
“She’s probably hiding her presence but she’s somewhere in you. You have to show her a reason to come back to you.” He sounded like he was encouraging me.
“I will do my best, Alpha.”
He nodded at me and brushed past me. I caught a whiff of his scent. He smelled like cinnamon. I basked in the scent long enough before he went to the door.
“Try not to dream about me tonight again. You won’t like what you’ll see.” He shut the door. I quickly moved toward the door to hear his retreating footsteps.
Was that a threat or what?
I pinched myself, hoping I'd wake up but nothing happened. All I felt was pain. I was about to go back to bed when I noticed a package on the floor. I picked it up and examined it.
“Food!” My mouth began to water at the sight of well-garnished rice and eggs, not like the plain ones I used to have back home.
The Alpha may be a ruthless man but he took care of me and even brought me food. He wants me to be strong and defeat my enemies. I won’t disappoint him. I swear on my life.
After eating I was feeling much better. Since I couldn’t sleep, I started arranging the things Rose had gotten for me. I wasn’t really interested in the shopping but I admired the beautiful clothes she had picked out for me. It was my first time having such beautiful dresses. I carefully unpacked and after I was done, I picked out that book again.
I promised myself I wouldn’t read it again but I couldn’t resist the urge. I had a wild imagination so I could picture the words of the author. The intimacy scenes were out of this world, well-detailed and arousing. It was later on that I understood why my undergarment—panties, as called in the book— was damp.
I was wet as a result of my arousal.
As I read further in, I began to feel myself dripping with desire again. This time, I craved a touch. I'd read a scene where the female lead touched herself. I had to go back to find it. I wanted to live the feeling.
So I followed the directive of the author through the female lead. I spread my legs a bit, locating the surface of my panties. It felt so good rubbing in circles like that. But why do I feel like it would be better if I rubbed myself without the cloth?
I pulled it off, slowly approaching the soft flesh. Once my hand came in contact with it, I breathed. I was finally doing it. I kept the book aside and proceeded to rub in circles. It was better than I expected. Heat rose to my chest, extending throughout my body.
Is this what I had been missing out on?
“Ahh…” I moaned as I rubbed harder. I threw my head back and parted my lips as I enjoyed the sweet feeling below.
“Oh my…” I was left breathless. I could feel myself getting slicker by the minute.
But something broke inside of me. For the first time, I yearned for a man's touch.