Chapter Thirty-five – Losing Control 🌶️
BLAINE
Fuck! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!
I stormed out of the room without saying anything. There was nothing to say. Nothing, at least, that wouldn’t have utterly terrified Malia. Nothing, that wouldn’t have screamed out what this girl did to me and my control.
Losing control was not an option, I reminded myself. In my line of business, it was never an option. Not in the Mafia and not in my legal company. Once you lose control, you bare your insides to be ripped out.
Because if the other person learned what brought you to lose control, they would use it against you. Giving control over. This is why someone like me always needs to show icy calm. Not react to anything or anyone. Like that, nobody would ever know what you thought. What you cared about.
And I needed to fucking learn to stay in control when she was around. It was fucking hard. Maybe it would be different once I had her. Really had her. When I could act on all those impulses that ran through my mind whenever I saw her. Whenever she defied me.
Everyone else would die for it. Why wasn’t it the same with her? Why the fuck would my cock start twitching whenever she looked at me the wrong way?
I stormed to my office and slammed the door shut behind me. They would have heard it in the kitchen. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that she would come after me. She probably thought I was pissed.
Knowing Claire and Isabella, they had warned her about not taking that cup. Because they knew that nobody was to touch it. Not even Claire was allowed to touch it to clean it. I had always done that myself. I didn’t trust anyone else not to break if accidentally. If anyone would ever dare, they would die for it.
Everyone … apart from her, maybe. Probably. Fuck. Instead of killing her for it, I would probably enjoy punishing her for it instead.
I looked down. My length pressed against my pants uncomfortably. All because of one look. Of one fucking look. What the fuck was wrong with me? Never in my life did I have problems with this sort of thing. Not even as a fucking teenager.
As a teenager, I had better things to do than lust after girls. I had been busy training. Had been busy not caring for anyone or anything. Being in constant control also means being in constant control in those matters.
Women were sneaky things. Especially the power-hungry vipers in my industry. Most of them thought they could seduce the right people to climb the ranks. Often, those tricks even worked. I had known many men who had fallen prey to pussy. Few had survived it. For one reason or another.
I slammed down in my chair and unzipped my pants. Closing my eyes, I saw her lips wrapped around the edges of my cup. A vicious smile on her lips. A mischievous glint in her eyes. She had taken it on purpose to get a reaction out of me.
And she had won.
Though she did not know what kind of reaction that had been. It was not about the cup, but about the look she had given me. That sly smile. Those curved lips…
Lips that made me imagine something completely different between them. And that’s what I was thinking about while I closed my fist around my hard cock and started to stroke it up and down.
Fantasizing about her lips on me. How did those lips taste? How would they feel on mine? How would they feel around my dick?
My breath became staggered, while the pace of my fist increased. I found release at the mental image of my dick being all the way buried down her throat. With an animal like grunt, I shot my cum all over my mahogany desk.
Not once in my life had a woman managed to seduce me. Hadn’t even managed to turn me on. I hadn’t let myself feel that way. Because it would have been a form of control.
But since our first encounter after all these years, I had felt it. Lust. Craving.
As a kid, I had seen the fire in her eyes, and I wanted her around me to challenge me. To lead this world by my side.
Now that fire in her eyes… It drove me mad. Fucking insane.
Was it because I couldn’t have her? All the other women had always thrown themselves at my feet to get my attention. Or they had avoided me out of fear. None of them had ever challenged me. Denied me.
I knew she felt it, too. She was denying it to herself. Not allowing herself to be attracted to me. But her body was being honest about it. The way she had reacted to my touch. To my closeness. Just thinking about it made my dick hard again.
“Fuuuccckk”, I groaned out in frustration. Then I opened my laptop, ignoring the splatter of cum on it, and started my research. I had liked the idea of punishing her for disobedience. So I started a shopping spree of all the things I would use to do precisely that.
If I were ever to get to use them on this wildfire… That was written in the stars.
Not just because she hated me, even though she wanted me. Maybe she hated me even more because she wanted me.
But even if by some miracle she would want to be with me… I would still not be able to lay a fucking hand on her. She was a minor… And as far as illegal activities went, this was one I would not participate in.
I had waited for years to get close to her. What would a few months be in comparison?
A few months… A few fucking months. Instead of playing this ridiculous Marcello game, I should have just buried myself in work and stayed away from her.
Fuck. Valentina had been right.
Not that I would ever admit it, because I would never hear the fucking end of it.
It was not too late to avoid her now.