Breaking the News

Breaking the News
“What the fuck are you talking about you can’t have children?”
Arianna ruefully chuckled as her hands tightly gripped the steering wheel.
“That was the exact reaction I had when the doctor told me. I guess I’ll take it from the top, and all of it will make sense. When I left, I sought help from Jynelle and Dallas Stevens.”
“What the hell, Arianna? Why would you go messing with those people?!”
“I just wanted to get away from it all and knew they would be my best chance. I tracked them down in California and showed up at their doorstep. Surprisingly, they welcomed me with open arms, helped me change my identity, gave me a place to stay and a job. Honestly, the Stevens are family to me.”
“What did you change your name to, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Ava Wilson.”
“I hope I don’t offend you, but you don’t look like an Ava.”
“So I’ve been told.”
“Anyway, things were going great. I was no longer stressed, I had a job at the Stevens’ movie theater, and I enrolled in design school. I graduate in a few months, by the way,” Arianna added.
“Wow. I’m proud of you, Arianna.”
“Thank you,” she smiled through her tears.
“I met someone not long after being in California, and we hit it off. You’ve actually met him.”
“Who?” Pierce curiously asked, flipping through his mental Rolodex of acquaintances.
“Reginald Miller.”
“Reginald Miller, Reginald Miller, Regin-the guy who owns the car dealerships?” Pierce asked in disbelief.
“Yeah, him. I was actually on the lot that day. I had flown into town to surprise him, but I received the biggest surprise when I saw you and Patrick on the lot perusing the cars.”
“Damn, Arianna. I want to hate the bastard, but he was honestly a really nice guy. Is he always that nice, or is it a front to sell cars?”
“I can see how you can get that impression, but Reggie is actually that nice, and he treated me extremely well.”
“Treated? As in past-tense?”
“We broke up a couple of months ago.”
“Because of your infertility?”
Arianna nodded. “And I know what you’re thinking, he’s an asshole for leaving me because I couldn’t have natural children, but it didn’t go down like that.”
“I’m all ears,” Pierce said, taking Arianna’s hand in his for emotional support. The young woman looked like she was about to have a mental breakdown in the driver’s seat.
“I was considering freezing some of my eggs because you never know what might happen in the future. I go to the appointment, and they run all the necessary tests. I get a call a week later, and I’m asked to return for a follow-up. Thankfully, Reggie was in town that week, and he accompanied me. The doctor told me I suffered from Premature Ovarian Aging. Basically, my egg quality and reserve were so poor that I was on the same playing field as a woman in her late 40s or 50s. I was told by the physician it would be a “waste” for me to freeze my eggs because of the quality. There was a 99.99% chance I wouldn’t get pregnant. IF I did become pregnant, there was a very high chance I would miscarry, or there was a much higher chance my child would be born with a chromosomal disorder, such as Down Syndrome.”
“Shit, Arianna. Did the doctor recommend fertility treatment?”
“She said there were options such as IVF, but again, poor egg quality means poor embryo, and it likely wouldn’t take. We’d pay all that money for nothing. I went to see another doctor for a second opinion, but the diagnosis was the same. Reggie and I had been dating for well over a year at that point, and honestly, I could have seen myself marrying him and settling down, but I also knew he wanted natural children with me. I tried to give Reggie an out several times, but he didn’t want out of the relationship. Despite the therapy and support groups, I couldn’t get out of my head. It was so ironic to me that it was children that led to our breakup, and I couldn’t even fucking have them.”
Arianna began laughing at her predicament, but her laughter was cut off by her crying.
“I was a fucking mess after my diagnosis. I ended up getting my own apartment because I couldn’t stand being in a house with a toddler. If a pregnant woman came to the movie theater, I found myself rushing to the storage room and crying my eyes out. No one could even say the word “baby” around me without sending me into a tailspin. My therapist insisted I attend a support group. It helped seeing how other women overcame their insecurities regarding their infertility, but it also didn’t help that I was the youngest one in there. I would receive pitying looks from the others. They all found out their fates much later in life, but there I was, 19, almost 20 among women in their 30s and 40s. A lot of them went the adoption or surrogate route, and while they loved being mothers, it still felt like they were missing something.”
Arianna paused to accept the tissues Pierce offered.
“Reggie and I began being less careful in the bedroom. You know, when someone says you can’t do something, you want to do everything you can to prove them wrong. All of a sudden, a timeline didn’t mean a damn. A year passed...nothing. I sat Reggie down, and I suggested we end things. He didn’t want to. He said we could work it out, but I didn’t see how we could. Not when he spoke so excitedly about having his own children one day with me. He agreed to break up. He made it perfectly clear that he did not want to break up because I couldn’t give him children, but because he could see how my mental health suffered by being with him. My self-blame was eating me alive, and he didn’t want to be the reason something happened to me. We mutually agreed to go our separate ways but remain friends. He still calls to check on me every once in a while, but I wish he didn’t. It’s too painful.”
“So, yeah...that’s how life has been going for me. I’m not alright, but I’ll find acceptance one of these days.”
The ex-lovers remained silent after Arianna’s confession. Pierce knew Arianna didn’t want to hear how sorry he was. She just needed to share her pain with him. After a few minutes, Arianna wiped away her tears and gathered herself.
“Let’s get you back home, Pierce.”