Chapter 21 Loathsome With Luscious Lips

Hibernation Mode and Serena??? That was the first question that lurked right in my mind as soon as I stepped out of my room on the third day morning. The last day was one hell of a day for me, but a more curiosity-raising fact was Serena was unusually calm and quiet. It was so not her type because the girl I knew was a ball of kinetic force running from one place to another; it was certainly impossible for her to go on no conversing spree.

But then what was going on in her mind? Surely, she was having some ulterior motives behind this strange charade. I was drowning in my own worries, without even realizing that Nathan and Serena were already done with their breakfast.

"Hey Dad. You are late!" Nathan began in a scolding manner with a frown on his forehead. It made him look absolutely amazing for a ten-year-old.

"Sorry baby. I didn't realize that I took too long in getting ready. So, what did you and your Mommy did in my absence here?" I purposely emphasized the word, Mommy, wanting to gain her attention but she was in her own world of thoughts. What can be the reason for it?

"Nothing much. We just ate. Mommy doesn't seem to be in talking mode today". His face fell as he took one look at Serena who didn't even meet my eyes until now. Seriously, was she ignoring me? Did I say something wrong?

I tried to run my mind to yesterday's events, and my eyes darkened as I realized that I might have scared her with my over-bold statement. Precisely, I warned her about no one being there to save her from me in the night. But it was just a joke of the moment. I wasn't serious at all. Did she take it in the wrong way?

Obviously, she took it that's why she didn't even enter my room in the night after we returned in the evening. She was cooped up in a corner of the living room, surfing her cell. Nathan too slept with her while as usual for me, I laid wide awake on my bed trying to gather myself.

Now I was sure that my words might have hurt her because she might think that I want her only for pleasurable sake not because I love her.

You are a duffer, Price. You should seriously cut your balls and hang them in Times Square. How do you even think that a girl will take that comment ecstatically? Serena might be an American, but her values were traditional always.

But what bothered me more was the fact that she didn't reprimand me for my folly? Why? She should tell me to mind my language, but she didn't?

Gosh!! If she doesn't utter a word from that sexy mouth of hers, I was sure I would go insane in no time.

Damn you, Waldorf! You drive me mad.

Frustrated, I didn't sit for breakfast but stared at Serena keenly. She was playing with her fork on the empty plate. I turned to peek a glance at Nathan who had ran to watch cartoons on the television, giving me enough time to talk to her.

"Get up!" I ordered meekly. For the first time in several hours, she raised her long and thick lashes to meet my eyes. Confusion filled in them.

"Huh!"

"I said get up. We need to talk". I repeated but when she didn't make a move, I angrily dashed towards her side not leaving her beautiful orbs for even a second. Standing right beside her chair, I gave her the time to follow my instruction, but when she didn't, I grabbed her through her elbows and dragged her inside my bedroom.

Irony: Our bedroom!!

She still didn't fight back nor whimper but waited for me to take the first initiative.

Closing the door behind me, with my one feet, I pinned her against the wardrobe. She was caged in between my muscular body and the wooden door but didn't make a sound.

"I will ask you only thrice. Tell me what happened to you since yesterday?" She didn't look in my eyes. I pressed myself more into her. My body was exploding in passion for her. The explosion was so intense that I didn't want to care about anything at that moment. I just wanted to make love to her but not this way. Loving her in my anger would be like insulting her especially when I haven't touched her in that extremely intimate way to date.

She deserved to be loved with all the right emotions and for me, anger was not one of them; along with the stressed past, she was helping me to deal with.

Raising her chin, with my index finger I was greeted with blank eyes.

"Tell me what is eating you? Stop testing my patience. You know your one worried expression makes me feel like a shit. Then why are you torturing me this way? Speak up!" I helplessly pleaded with her, resting my forehead against hers. Our breathing was uneven, but I can sense the tension between us.

It was like after smiling for a while, I was back to square one. My very world of stress.

"If it's because of that one statement I made yesterday, then I take that back. I didn't mean it like that. I was only teasing you. You very well know that I have issues with getting intimate on that extreme level. But still if you think I crossed my line, then I am sorry. But just don't stay quiet. Speak, yell, hit, or even kick me but just don't ignore me". I blabbered whatever came into my mind while her expression went on from confusion to realization to anger.

She pushed me away giving me a mad look which showed that she was serious, and not at all in a fit of anger that sidelined in a wink.

"Do you ever get over your self-loathing or not? Don't you feel that not always you might be wrong? You are not a monster who will always do things to hurt others! Why is it so hard for you to grasp it? Why can't you for once think that I might be in pain because you don't confide in me enough to show me your physical wounds? Why can't you understand that I deserve to see your wounds too? For two years. Two years Daniel, you hid your that wound on your leg from me? How can you do that?" Her outburst was so unexpected. Her body was shivering so terribly now that I was afraid that she might faint due to so much turmoil inside her.

Wound!! The wound keeps on reminding me of that horror-struck night. But how did she saw it?

Oh shit!!

"You saw it yesterday." I questioned but it was more of an answer to myself because I knew she did when I changed into my capris, for a while. After all, while drinking coke, Nathan spilled it on my jeans accidentally; leaving me no choice but to change in the short pant which left my half leg bare showing a lot of skin.

I made sure that I don't step out of my office like that, but I guess Serena saw it when she came to meet Nathan after she was done taking in the surroundings of the kitchen. I completely forgot about the wound, but then how did she saw it?

"Yes, I saw it when you were laying on the couch in the noon trying to put Nathan to sleep. Not wanting him to know about you, you very cleverly closed your eyes and laid there like you were resting along with him, but truth is something else. I came to check on you both that's how your ugly truth came out". She spat at me like she was so done with me and everything.

"Just tell me one thing Daniel. Don't you think I am worthy enough to know about your pains? I understand that you are afraid to tell me about your past, but this physical wound as well. In two years of our relationship, you hid it so well. Why because you were afraid that I might stop loving you, seeing your nasty truth or you thought that I am a worthless bitch who doesn't deserve one ounce of your trust? Tell me what you actually think about me and yourself?"

She had now moved closer to me. Holding my collar, she began shaking me through my collars. Her lips were trembling whilst her eyes were now shedding tears of anguish that she was feeling with my secrecy. I know I have hurt her bad with everything. She didn't deserve this kind of behavior, but I was afraid of her reaction.

That wound makes me cringe in my skin with disgust then how can I let her witness it?

"I am asking you something, Daniel Price? Do you have any answer or not? Or just like all the times, you will give me another ultimatum that I should walk out of your life because you will never trust me and you will keep on dwelling on this self-loathing?" She added with absolute hate in her eyes which shattered my heart. She loves me more than life itself, and what was I doing?

Breaking her at every single chance. And then what a stupid man I was to even accuse her of breaking up with me?

She pushed me away again, and holding her head, she took deep breaths. Wiping off her tears, she asked me in a mere whisper, "Just tell me did you or didn't you thought that I will despise you if I saw that wound? Didn't you think that I will hate your presence around me if I saw that ugly mark?"

I looked down ashamed at myself forever thinking of her in that way, but wanting to be honest with her, I simply nodded my head.

A gasp escaped her lips. I tried to move closer to her, but she showed me her one palm and moved backward hitting the wardrobe door again.

"Serena, please. Let me explain!" I took two long steps forward to pull her in my embrace, but much to my shock, she slumped down on the floor. This was the first time I ever saw her like this, and it was heart-wrenching. I wanted to beg her to look from my point, but I had taken her for granted.

All she wanted was my trust and love, and I failed in giving her that.

"You never believed in my love, did you?" Her sudden lifeless query made me froze in my place. She rested her head on the wardrobe wall, staring at me with her defeated eyes.

I didn't have an answer. I was numb seeing her bloodshot red eyes.

"What a terrible lover I am, isn't it? I couldn't win your heart or your trust even after two years, and here I was playing the game of seven days. How foolish of me?" She chuckled sadly now resting her head on her curled-up knees.

"When you don't consider me enough of a girl to accept you with your small wound, then how will you consider me a person enough to reveal your big secrets. I have failed even before I reached the midpoint, isn't it?" She was posing query after query, and it was riling me up now because she was demeaning herself so much in front of me.

And I won't let her do that.

Marching further in hasty steps, I pulled her from the floor and crushed her small frame in mine, showing her exactly that she was my lifeline.

She didn't wrap her arms around me like her usual self, but I could hear her sobs filled with immense pain.

"Stop demeaning yourself. You are that girl who can make any man's life beautiful, and you did it with me. Problem is not yours, but it is mine that I can't be perfect like you. I can't match up to the amount of love and trust you shower on me. You were always everything I needed but I was never what you needed. And see, apart from tears I don't give you anything else. Yes, I hid a lot from you, but it was my fear to lose you that made me act stupid. Because of me my family is already serving the punishment, now I didn't have the guts to see you aching for me every single second. For once I knew that I shouldn't have doubted you, but it wasn't you alone whom I doubt, I have issues with my own self. I have issues with every single thing in this world now. I don't know how to express myself in front of you, but I am a broken man who had done lots of sins and the most selfish one is to drag you in everything. You don't deserve this life of stress, but with me you are experiencing this only; yet here I am letting you rule and doing things which you want because I want your love to win. I want Serena's love for Daniel to win and beat Carolina in her own game of years. I want you to win, baby".

I put forth my heart and soul in those words because I just wanted her to consider herself worthy enough for me. Today, I have got a reality check of life that self-loathing doesn't only hurt us, but our closed ones too.

And in my case, I had done that with the girl who has always been my anchor, my support. But it was time to set things. I have to begin opening up to her.

Pulling apart from her, I was met by her swollen eyes which were pleading to me to end all this.

She rested her head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat. Her fingers stroked my heart over my shirt while I closed my eyes enjoying the moment. That soothing touch was calming me, but I need few hours to gather myself before I start to spill out things to her.

"Mom-Dad never shared anything with me, but it didn't hurt me because I knew that they thought I was too childish to know about their worries, profits, or any personal matter. But when you came in my life, I thought that I will have someone to share my all thoughts, and sorrows but after living with you, I always questioned myself that do I make you happy? Do I shower my love enough on you for you to open up to me? But till end I didn't got any answer but yesterday when I saw that wound on you suddenly, it made me question myself again that was I so blind in my own life to not notice such a big thing on your body? But then my heart mocked me that you didn't loved me enough to even ask me to heal your one physical wound then how would you trust me enough to give you freedom from the emotional trauma?" She started her own version of thoughts to me, while I just kept on holding her in my arms.

I was caressing her hair slowly as my tears cascaded down my eyes hearing her heart-shattering words. In my own assumptions, I have made her doubt herself. Can I be more pathetic than this?

Not wasting a single second, I immediately scooped her up in my arms in bridal style, carrying her to the bed. She just buried her head in my neck, as I felt her soft lips pressed against my skin. If there was a touch softer than this, then I would like to ban it at that moment because I wanted my Serena's touch to be on the top.

Laying her down on the soft mattress, I pressed a small kiss on her forehead. A smile touched her lips, but it didn't reach her eyes. And it worried me because now whenever she smiles, I miss that shine in her which was her usual companion.

Past

It was the winter night, as Serena snuggled closer to me on the bed. Her nose was red due to the cold while she had a little temperature as well but nothing serious that my Lady Bond couldn't handle.

She had been stressed lately because her semester results were hovering above her head, while she wasn't sure that she did enough or not. I was hating the fact that she was questioning her guts over a silly exam. But nothing was in my hand.

But what was in my hand was her smile. Her infectious smile makes me feel alive. Thus, I decided to ease her worry a little and now after midnight, it was the perfect timing.

"Baby, wake up." I cooed her cheeks with my fingers as she mumbled some incoherent nothing making me chuckle.

"Darling, I want you to see something. Come with me please." I softly whispered in her ears, brushing my lips against her earlobes.

She moaned my name softly making me ecstatic. Opening her tired eyes, she wrapped my arms around her neck placing her lips on mine. With a groan, I kissed her back fervently tasting her sweet nectar.

"Quite Impressive way to wake up but you should have told me before, I would have done the honors myself, love". I teased back pulling from her lips but still staying close in her arms.

"Don't you dare even think of that. Assaulting you with my lips, is only my right. Got that?" She warned grinning from ear to ear. Shaking my head at her reasons, I pecked her lips and got down the bed.

She sat up straight on the bed revealing herself in her short nightgown giving me full access to her mesmerizing white skin. I whistled earning a pillow smack from her. Forwarding my hand, I asked her through my eyes to come with me.

Stubborn as ever, she shook her head denying me my wish. With a smirk, I bent down a little picking up the overcoat from the couch that was kept near the bed. Her eyes were fixated on me as she was anticipating my next move.

Straightening myself, I grabbed her wrist authoritatively, pulling her towards me. Her smoky laughter echoed in the room, as I made her wear the overcoat which covered her from top to bottom. Then without another word, I lifted her up in my arms, as she shrieked literally damaging my ears. God!! She will be the end of me yet here I was one asshole, hiding so many things from her. At times, I so wanted to reveal everything her everything but then as soon as I will see her, words won't come out of my throat. "You know I am now getting jealous!" Her complaining voice brought me out of my trance. Her lips were puckered in a pout while her eyes held the mischievous glint in them, while I tried to comprehend her words. The sight was to behold. It was so simple yet elegant and we both just stood there in each other's arms watching the lanterns rise more and more, but still, the lamp was visible.

"It feels so ethereal".

"It's serene just like my Serena!" I whispered huskily, draping my one arm around her shoulder as she blushed and hid in my chest, kissing my heart.

"Every time you hold me, I fall in love with you, Daniel".

"And Every time you kiss my heart, I feel I took a new birth to fall in love with you".

Present

I opened my eyes with a jerk to only sit up straight on the bed. Staring at the clock, my eyes widened to see that the sun was about to set already. For how long I had been thinking about us?

I turned around to look for Serena, but she was nowhere in sight. How can I be so lost in my world to not even realize that she had left me on the bed? The feeling was unsettling. Panicked, I ran out of the room as fast as I can to only halt in my steps as the sight in front of me took my breath away.

There sat Nathan and Serena in the big balcony attached to the living room, holding my family photo frame.

"Mommy, where is everyone? Why doesn't Dad take us to meet them?" Nathan questioned and my heart started to hammer against my chest. It was constricting in pain, seeing his innocent query. Serena's eyes welled up as she stayed numb simply stroking his hairs, not knowing what to reply because she didn't know anything about my family.

In that second, I realized the folly of my self-loathing nature. I was hit by the reality, that in my own guilt I had been denying my family to know each other. Serena and Nathan both had the right to know, my upbringing. Both were an equally important part of my life, and both need to know the Price heirs.

Taking a deep breath, I walked a little ahead and hearing my footsteps, two pairs of eyes looked in my direction.

Sitting on the opposite recliner, I looked straight into Serena's eyes who was staring at me blankly. It seemed as if she was wondering about my reaction to her holding the family frame. A tear slid down my eye, as my lashes lowered to the ground, and with a choked throat, I confessed.

They are with God, Nathan.

My entire family Is dead.

For few moments, no one said a word while I could hear my heavy breathing in the surroundings. Opening my eyes, I saw both Nathan and Serena sitting on either side. Tears cascading down their eyes. Nathan hugged me tightly because he exactly understood the depth of my pain, but what he didn't understand that I was immune to loneliness but the pain that killed me every second, was the fact that I was responsible for their death.

"Nathan, you go inside and play. Can Mommy talk to Dad for a while?" Serena requested, stroking his hair softly. He pulled back from me, and giving us his charming smile, in understanding he went inside the room.

I didn't dare to remove my gaze from her, while she took hold of my one hand in hers, and kissing my knuckles, she stated, "You know you are not responsible for whatever might have happened with them; yet you blame yourself. Why?"

Present

I opened my eyes with a jerk to only sit up straight on the bed. Staring at the clock, my eyes widened to see that the sun was about to set already. For how long I had been thinking about us?

I turned around to look for Serena, but she was nowhere in sight. How can I be so lost in my world to not even realize that she had left me on the bed? The feeling was unsettling. Panicked, I ran out of the room as fast as I can to only halt in my steps as the sight in front of me took my breath away.

There sat Nathan and Serena in the big balcony attached to the living room, holding my family photo frame.

"Mommy, where is everyone? Why doesn't Dad take us to meet them?" Nathan questioned and my heart started to hammer against my chest. It was constricting in pain, seeing his innocent query. Serena's eyes welled up as she stayed numb simply stroking his hairs, not knowing what to reply because she didn't know anything about my family.

In that second, I realized the folly of my self-loathing nature. I was hit by the reality, that in my guilt I had been denying my family to know each other. Serena and Nathan both had the right to know, my upbringing. Both were an equally important part of my life, and both need to know the Price heirs.

Taking a deep breath, I walked a little ahead and hearing my footsteps, two pairs of eyes looked in my direction.

Sitting on the opposite recliner, I looked straight into Serena's eyes who was staring at me blankly. It seemed as if she was wondering about my reaction to her holding the family frame.

A tear slid down my eye, as my lashes lowered to the ground, and with a choked throat, I confessed.

They are with God, Nathan.

My entire family Is dead.

For few moments, no one said a word while I could hear my heavy breathing in the surroundings. Opening my eyes, I saw both Nathan and Serena sitting on either side. Tears cascading down their eyes.

Nathan hugged me tightly because he exactly understood the depth of my pain, but what he didn't understand that I was immune to loneliness but the pain that killed me every second, was the fact that I was responsible for their death.

"Nathan, you go inside and play. Can Mommy talk to Dad for a while?" Serena requested, stroking his hair softly. He pulled back from me, and giving us his charming smile, in understanding he went inside the room.

I didn't dare to remove my gaze from her, while she took hold of my one hand in hers, and kissing my knuckles, she stated, "You know you are not responsible for whatever might have happened with them; yet you blame yourself. Why?"

"How do you know I feel guilty?"

"When a person avoids confronting any topic, either they feel guilty about it or they are victim of something unusual. Given your condition, it's not hard to estimate that you feel guilty for their deaths". She explained while I sat there speechless. I always knew she read a lot in a person but so much so that, she was able to read my eyes too. It was incredible.

"I love you that's one of the reason I know how you feel about yourself and I can see that guilt in your eyes since the first day I met you. At first, I thought it was just my overactive mind, but two years with you, made me understand things differently."

Wiping my tears that were now all over my face, she forwarded her hand towards me asking to hold it, the same way I asked her.

"Come". Clasping my hand tightly, she took me to the balcony. I didn't say a word. I just obliged enchanted by her love.

She went in a corner and brought a small lantern, surprising me.

"That day you asked me to throw away my tensions, today I am asking you to send a message to your family through this. Write a message, and tie it in this, and then blew it away along with your self-loathing. Trust me, you won't find it hard to move on in life". She explained. I kept my eyes fixated on her. I was somehow understanding her plans now.

Each day she was renewing a part of me.

Nodding, taking the pad and pen, I jolted my heart down on the paper. My guilt, my inability to do save them, my emotions for my siblings; each and everything and if truth to be told, I did feel a lot better.

Tying the paper in the lantern, I lit it, and holding Serena's hand, I let it go in the sky hoping now for my new beginning without any guilt. Standing beside me she watched in the sky, while my head was facing her.

She turned around to go, but I held her wrist looking straight at nothing in particular.

Sighing, I finally revealed, "Carolina, shot me on my leg on the evening of my graduation!"

What??