Chapter Five

If she hadn’t forgotten her scarf she would have missed the note entirely. Lifting the folded piece of paper into her hands, she noticed Jacob’s handwriting immediately. Quickly she scanned the note, only to frown when she finished. A disappointed sigh escaped her lips as she threw the note away and left her apartment.

Bounding down the steps, she hurried towards the stables. Turning the corner, she smiled when she saw Jackson standing there dressed in his chaps all set to ride.

He returned her smile, his eyes apologetic.

“Jacob really wanted to ride with you, but an equipment purchase came through in Dallas and he had to head there immediately. He’s really sorry.”

She nodded, unable to hide the disappointment on her face. “I know. He left a note.”

“If you don’t want to go—”

She shook her head. “No, I have been looking forward to this all week.”

Jackson hesitated. “But I’m not Jacob,” he said simply.

She wanted to pretend that she didn’t know what he meant, but she did. She’d been their mistress for four months, and somehow in that time, they’d all managed to move beyond their mutual distrust and establish a deeper connection. Since she’d gone to dinner with Jacob just a month ago, things had changed the most between them—and all for the better. She thought after last night they’d broken through another barrier in their relationship, but now he was gone and she couldn’t talk to him to find out if she’d just imagined it all.

She shook her head trying to push aside the thoughts as she cursed herself silently. I keep doing that. She kept inventing a relationship between her and Jacob that really didn’t exist. Even last night, she’d slipped up and almost blurted out that they were together, but that was so far from the truth. This thing between them was not permanent, more importantly it wasn’t even a real affair. He shares me with his brothers for godssakes! She also wasn’t completely convinced that he still didn’t have a hidden agenda in all of this. She was still having a hard time trusting him completely, but at the same time, she couldn’t seem to stop the racing of her heart every time she saw him.

Firmly pushing all thoughts of Jacob from her head, she turned to Jackson. There would be plenty of time to worry about what the hell she was doing with Jacob later. Right now, all she wanted to do was ride. A warm smile spread across her face.

“Let’s go Jackson,” she said, ignoring his comment as she lifted herself onto Cobalt, the pretty black mare.

Jackson nodded, as a grin spread across his face and he lifted himself onto his own mount. As soon as he was seated she took off, racing across the wide expanse of arid earth that stretched for miles and miles.

She inhaled deeply as the fresh air whipped about her face, her hair fanning out behind her as she rode with reckless abandon. She hadn’t been on a horse since she was in college. It was an amazing, exhilarating experience. She didn’t realise how much she missed riding until Jacob’s invitation. As she flew across the Downing ranch, she promised herself that she would make a point to ride more often. The feeling of freedom was indescribable as she gave herself over to the sensation of flying. Laughter bubbled up inside her, finally breaking free. It had been a long time since she felt so happy, so carefree—and again she had Jacob to thank for bringing back some of the light in her eyes. She hadn’t realised how much she truly needed to be back on a horse, but apparently Jacob had. His ability to read her and her moods was scary at times. He just had a way of anticipating her needs and her wants, sometimes before even she could.

After what felt like hours, she dug her heels into Cobalt’s flanks, urging her to slow down. Whipping her head around, she signalled to Jackson and he nodded back. She trotted towards a small stream and dismounted before tethering Cobalt to a nearby tree so that she could take a break.

Slipping down onto the grass, she leaned back against a large tree, enjoying the comfort of the shade as the scorching Texas sun beat down upon them. Drawing her legs up, she wrapped her arms around them, holding herself in a tight ball.

“You look so much like your mother. It’s amazing.”

The blood froze in her veins and she immediately stiffened at the latent meaning in his words. As a child, he’d probably seen her mother in his home on more than one occasion and knew her face well.

“I’m sorry. I—I didn’t mean. I mean...that was stupid of me to say.”

She turned to stare at Jackson. His face was flushed red with embarrassment.

She offered him a reassuring smile. “It’s okay. It’s no secret,” she whispered, before turning once again to stare out at the rolling hills of dry grass.

“Dad did his best to be discreet about their relationship, and I was young then so I really don’t know much. I just remember how everything changed after she was gone,” he said as he sat down next to her.

She glanced at him. “Do you believe the rumours—that your dad died of a broken heart?”

Jackson nodded, his eyes now distant as he followed her gaze towards the golden horizon. “He did. He was so lost after she died.” He let out a deep sigh. “I never really listened to what other people said— that she used dad, although for awhile I too wasn’t absolutely certain that she didn’t do what everyone said she did. But I know dad certainly didn’t listen to the words of gossipers. He loved her.”

She fixed her gaze upon Jackson. “Jacob doesn’t believe that. That my mother didn’t set him up.”

Jackson turned to stare at her, his eye gaze thoughtful.

“Jacob still blames your mom for dad’s death. He thinks her supposed betrayal killed him. The rest of us always had our doubts, but Jacob was closest to dad so it hit him the hardest. The rest of us were always willing to believe that your mother wasn’t guilty.”

“My mother didn’t give Titan Corporations insider information. She was framed after her death, Jackson, I know it. I’m almost certain my father did it so that in death he could finally do what he hadn’t been able to do during her life. Destroy her love for your father,” she said quietly and ducked her head.

“You don’t have to try to convince me.” He let out a ragged breath. “It wasn’t until you came here that I finally realised it was time to let go of the past. What our parents did or didn’t do has nothing to do with us.” He shrugged. “Jacob seems to be the only person who thinks differently.”

A bitter smile lifted her lips. “I know. We’ve argued about that a few times. He seems to think the women in my family are all whores and users,” she said dryly.

Jackson sighed. “He can be a bit self righteous at times.”

She smiled at the truth of Jackson’s words, but didn’t respond to his comment.

“My mother loved your father. I know she would never have done anything to hurt him.”

“I know. And you being here has helped the rest of us realise this. Maybe Jacob will too—one day.”

She furrowed her brow as she stared back at him. “I don’t get it. If he hates my family so much then why am I here? Why not just refuse to sell back my land and move on? Why bring me into his home, and pretend that he feels anything but disdain towards me?”

A small smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “I don’t know how or why Jacob came up with this particular arrangement. At the time, we all had our reservations about his idea.” His eyes flashed with mischief as a wicked grin crossed his face. “But then you walked through that door and the rest of us were just so smitten with you that none of us protested.”

She snorted at his words, trying to keep her eyes from rolling. She didn’t believe him for one second.

“I know your bastard of an ex-husband tried to convince you otherwise, but you’re beautiful, and believe me we didn’t agree to Jacob’s plan until after you walked into our office that day,” he added when she lifted a single brow, her expression sceptical.

She shook her head at his words, still not quite believing that he was telling the truth—that they all desired her in some way.

“It’s true. We thought Jacob was crazy for even suggesting it, but then you strolled in and all of a sudden we were convinced that it was a brilliant idea.” He chuckled softly. “I know you may not believe it, but I can assure you, what Jacob feels for you is far from hate. I think he’s falling for you, but he can’t quite convince himself to let go of the past long enough to admit it.”

She shook her head. “Jacob isn’t falling for me. I doubt I’ve had any positive influence on him—at least when it comes to his views regarding my family.”

His eyes twinkled with amusement. “You would be surprised by just how much power you hold over my brother.”

As they rode back towards the house, Jackson’s words haunted her. She was less convinced than he was. Jacob may not still hate her or her family, but she knew damn well he wasn’t falling for her either. With Jackson’s words ringing in her head, she was now more confused than ever.

* * * *

Her concerns about her relationship with Jacob continued to haunt her two weeks later. She hadn’t seen him since he’d left for Dallas. And she was now pretty certain that he was purposely staying out of town in order to avoid having to see her, and that just really pissed her off.

She didn’t know what his deal was, but she hated that he’d shut her out when it seemed as if they were just making progress. He’d called several times while he was away. While she was cordial when they spoke, in no way did she overflow with the enthusiasm she actually felt whenever she heard his voice. In truth, she was hurt and angry with him, and just wasn’t in the mood for pleasantries when so much lay unspoken just beneath the surface.

She could hear the confusion in his voice at her distant tone when they spoke, but he held back from questioning her. She was glad that he did. She wasn’t sure how she would answer him. She didn’t know what was happening between them and it scared her. She wanted to let down her guard with him, but she just didn’t trust him—and the more time she spent away from him the more convinced she became that she shouldn’t.

She shook her head trying to clear her mind and lifted her glass of wine to her lips. She would not ruin her celebration dinner with thoughts of Jacob. She’d come to Houston two days ago to enter contract negotiations with a publisher. Impressed with her column, they’d offered her a contract to write a self-help book for divorced women, looking to enjoy life and their new found singledom. At times she felt like such a fraud as a columnist because she hadn’t begun to live that life until recently, and yet she wrote about it each and every week. Still, fraud or not, she’d secured a book deal, so she’d decided to treat herself to dinner and lots of booze that night.

She lowered her head to scan the menu when suddenly a chill slithered down her spine. She instantly looked up. Her eyes widened and she clutched the menu tighter as her gaze zeroed in on a familiar face. She quickly lowered her head, shielding her face with the menu.

“That bastard,” she muttered to herself as she peaked from behind the menu, her eyes following his every movement as he escorted his stunning blonde date to their table in a secluded section on the other side of the restaurant.

Her hands began to tremble while her heart beat frantically inside her chest.

She remembered in their last conversation that he’d said he would be travelling to Houston for a few days before returning home.

She frowned. He’d left out the part where he would be visiting his girlfriend in the process.

She stared transfixed at the stunning couple, her blood boiling with anger when he leaned towards the woman, his eyes riveted on her as he laughed at something she said. A pang of jealousy ripped through her as she watched them. Jacob sat across from the lovely woman, seemingly completely relaxed and comfortable, wearing an easy smile. It was obvious the two were intimately familiar with each other to have such a rapport.

“The bastard,” she hissed again as she threw down her menu and stood up. Opening her purse she placed a bill on the table to cover her glass of wine, before she turned on her heel and stormed out of the restaurant. As she rode in the back of the cab to her hotel, tears burned the backs of her eyes, but she refused to cry.

She was not Jacob’s woman, so there was no reason to feel betrayed. She was his mistress, there to serve his sexual needs. That was her place in his life, so she could not question him if he had other women in his life. Still the pain sliced through her like a sharp knife.

She’d known all along that Jacob had set out to hurt her. She just never realised that it would come in such a classic form.

* * * *

Camille’s breasts jiggled wildly as she bounced on Jackson’s cock. Throwing her head back, a long moan escaped her lips.

“Camille,” he growled as he clutched her ass in his firm hands.

She opened her eyes to stare down into his face. His eyes were shut and his jaw was clenched tight as the muscles in his neck and shoulders bunched and strained while he valiantly tried to stave off his orgasm.

“Let go Jackson. Come inside me.” She cried out, as she bounced her ass against him, riding his cock harder, taking him deeper inside her.

Her words sent him over the edge as a loud roar rumbled through his chest, before he erupted in a hoarse shout of completion. Pumping his cock up into her on short, stabbing strokes, his seed poured into the condom that encased his hard length buried deep inside her.

She followed right behind him, screaming his name as she came on a tortured moan.

Exhausted, she slumped forward, her head resting against his chest.

“I thought you weren’t feeling well.”

A startled yelp tore past her lips. Whipping her head towards the door, her shocked gaze collided with Jacob’s angry one.

She swallowed deeply, before her eyes narrowed to angry slits.

“I wasn’t,” she snapped as she shifted off of Jackson. She watched his eyes follow her nude form. The desire that burned in his gaze caused her to shiver, but she ignored the soft tingles of pleasure as she reached for her silk robe and shrugged it on.

Folding her arms under her breasts, she stood before Jacob.

“What do you want?” She asked, almost wincing at the icy tone of her voice.

Jacob didn’t miss the chilly edge in her voice either because his eyebrows instantly snapped upwards.

“I came to see how you were doing. But I can see that you’re feeling just fine,” he muttered dryly, his cold eyes sliding over her with derision.

She stiffened.

Abruptly he spun on his heels and stalked off. She followed him out. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him dump a large brown paper bag on her kitchen table before slamming out of her apartment door.

She crept to the table and peaked inside the bag. Waves of guilt washed over her when she saw that he’d brought an array of soups and DVDs to help her feel better.

She hadn’t felt sick before, but she did now. She was not a cruel person, but for the past two weeks that’s exactly what she’d been to Jacob, and it was wearing on her. She cared for him, and the more he extended himself, despite her rejection, the worse she felt. Yet every time she felt herself softening towards him, the mental picture of him escorting the gorgeous blonde to dinner flashed into her head.

“I don’t know what he did to you, but if I know my brother, he isn’t going to take your rejection much longer.”

She spun around to see Jackson standing in her living room, now fully dressed.

She let out a long sigh and turned her back to him. She didn’t feel like discussing this with him.

“I have to go, but remember what I said. Jacob has too much pride to allow you to just cast him aside.”

She grimaced at his choice of words. “I’m not casting him aside.”

He kissed her deeply for several moments before he leaned back and said. “Well that’s not how it looks to the rest of us. Trust me, if I thought Jacob would let you go, I would be the first one to cheer, but I know that it isn’t in his nature to let something he wants slip from his grasp so easily,” he said, quietly before he turned from her and strolled out of her apartment, leaving her even more confused than she normally was as she stared at the closed door.

Jacob didn’t want her, at least not in the way Jackson hinted at. What did he mean by he’d be the first to cheer if Jacob let her go? The way Jackson talked, one would think that they both cared about her. Jackson was a wonderful man, and while she did care for him, she knew her feelings for him would never rival what she felt for Jacob. But Jacob was a lost cause. He belonged to someone else, but he was too much of a bastard to just come out and say it. No, he continued to play these games, pretending that he cared as he strung her along, but she was done with him and his games. Contract or not, she refused to allow him to use her. Now all she had to do was figure out a way to make it through the last month of her contract without him touching her.