Chapter 20 — My Miracle

(Cain)

I CAREFULLY put the glass of water on the dresser when I saw that Natasha had fallen asleep. She asked me for a glass of water a while ago. I quietly approached her and removed the pillow that she was hugging. I threw the pillow on the couch and had her hug me instead. I laid beside her.

Natasha didn’t know I was coming, that’s why she was only wearing nothing but her old, flimsy shirt. It was her favorite shirt, but it was so old that I could see her sinful curves. I could even see her nipples. I lifted her blanket to her neck to make sure that I would not be tempted to touch her and make love to her.

I stared at her face. After a while, a soft smile formed on my lips. She had come so far. Natasha became the woman she had always wanted to be. She had become the kind of woman men would write songs about. She was strong, smart, and willful. She was sure about the things she wanted and she knew how to get them.

I smiled when I remembered how she argued with me when she was just starting in her singing career. It was a day before the launching of her first album.

“Don’t worry about the sales. The Vampires are rich. I will order my men to buy your CDs and—”

“Don’t you ever do that!” she said in a firm voice. “Grandpa told me the same thing. But I don’t need that. I don’t need your connections. I didn’t sign in your company for that. I want to succeed on this on my own, Cain. You have helped me enough by giving me a chance in your company. I take pride in my work and I believe in myself. I will never stop promoting until every single person in the world hears my songs.

“If the sales won’t be that high, I’d accept that since that’s normal for beginners.” Natasha smiled. “I will work better and harder so that people will come to like the kind of music I create. I will make sure that your money won't be wasted on me. Now, if the Vampires buy my CDs just because you order them to, I will doubt myself and eventually, I think I’d hate myself. So please let me do this on my own, Cain. Let me… relearn to love myself a little through this.”

I would have wanted Natasha to rely on me more. But she didn’t need to do that. She was able to succeed on her own. Even if she signed in another company, she would still make it because she was talented, passionate, and determined. True to Natasha’s words, she had been relentless in promoting. That time, I saw another layer of her that I had not seen before. She loved singing and making music, and people eventually saw that. She didn’t stop working until people finally realized her music and her worth.

Natasha’s hard work eventually paid off. The trophies inside her room were proof. In two years, Natasha had won Song of the Year, New Artist of the Year, and Best Performance of the Year. Her albums and ticket concerts were always sold out. She did all those without my help and without her Grandpa’s, too.

And I’m proud of my Marker.

The Vampires did buy her albums, though. But it was not because I ordered them. It was because they have come to like Natasha’s music… just like me. She had delicate and pure emotions when singing. She also had a clear voice. She could give a soft feeling to her listeners. Being able to see her reach her dreams made me glad that I chose to stay, that I was with her on her journey. Just as I thought, Natasha was the type of person who needed to be loved for her storms first before people could see her sunshine.

And now, that sunshine would show whenever she was on stage.

She also made use of the properties that she acquired from the Ricafortes. She turned their house into a home for the aged facility. The earnings from the company which she inherited from Adam, the company which was previously owned by the Ricafortes, she used them to help their victims. She gave scholarships to their children. Whenever I would see her do those things, my faith in humanity would be restored. I believed that soon, Natasha would be able to let go all the properties she acquired from the Ricafortes. And that was the time when healing would find her, the time when my mission in her life would be over completely.

I was startled when Natasha moaned in her sleep. Her expression seemed to be in pain.

“Hush now.” I held her hand and kissed it. “I’m right here.”

I sighed when she seemed to calm down. I stared at the ceiling. This was alarming. My life was beginning to revolve around this tiny woman. Every bit of her seemed to barge in my whole being. In spite of that, I could not deny that being with her healed my rotten soul. With her, I feel full. And it was not just about feeding, not just about sex. With Natasha, I could feel my soul full, my heart full, everything about me felt full.

“You once asked me if I have found my miracle. The truth is… I found it when I found you. Natasha, you are my miracle,” I whispered when I turned to her. “But this scares me, because last time I checked, miracles are never meant for creatures like me. Miracles are only for humans, not for beasts.”

“Joaquin…” she whispered instead. Her face lit up and then she smiled.

I froze. It was like seeing the old and lively Natasha. So, she could smile that beautifully…

I knew it. I saw her memories; that’s why I knew that the Natasha I met was different from the Natasha from before when she was still with Joaquin. She used to be a free-spirited girl who used to smile and laugh a lot. Whenever she was with Joaquin, she would sing cheerfully while the latter was driving. When she was with Joaquin, she used to be a woman full of life. But the eyes of the woman I’m with were hollow. She seldom smiles. She had learned to put a distance between herself and other people.

No, I don’t think I could sleep over tonight. I carefully got up on the bed and went out of her room. I breathed sharply after closing the door. What the hell was I doing? I knew it would come to this. I had tried to become more human because I was with Natasha, because I did not want her to keep seeing me as the Beast every Vampire thought of me.

But who was I kidding? Whatever I do, it would not change who I really am. If Natasha would find out who and what I was before, she would do everything in her power to get away from me.

What we have, I can feel it about to end, Tash. Can you feel it, too?