He handed the jacket to Angus and was rewarded with a small smile. Something in Ben bloomed, filling hischest with warmth. Ben watched Angus struggle with the oversized jacket and smiled when he pulled it closed in front of his chest. His eyes weren’t dry, but the tears had stopped. Angus was still pale, but the shivering had stopped, too. Ben wanted to take Angus into his arms again, but the moment seemed to have passed.
“Thanks.” Angus cocked his head and stared at Ben. “I should feel embarrassed about crying all over your shirt, but…I don’t.”
Ben’s face cracked into a smile. “Good. You shouldn’t. Everyone has their breaking points.”
Angus looked around the room. “Yeah,” he admitted.
Ben gestured for him to sit, but Angus shook his head.
“Seems like this might have been something a long time coming, huh?”
Angus swallowed hard. Ben watched in fascination as Angus’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down and fought the urge to lean over and lick his neck.
“I hate motorcycles.”
Ben nodded. “You’ve mentioned that.” He took a step back and sat on the corner of his desk, folding his arms across his chest as he waited for Angus to continue.
“My publisher asked me to ghostwrite an autobiography for someone and unfortunately that person was…is…heavily into motorcycles.”
Ben raised an eyebrow. “Ghostwrite?”
“I do that sometimes. I mean, I have several novels out under my own name, but occasionally I pick up a ghostwriting job for someone who needs…help writing. I only do it with autobiographies.”
“What kind of stories do you write?”
Angus’s face lit up as he wiped at his eyes. “Mysteries. I’ve always loved the classic mystery stories and I’m working on one right now involving a racehorse that goes missing right before a huge race.”
Ben smiled back at him. “Sounds interesting.”
“You a big reader?” Angus looked at him skeptically.
“Hey, don’t stereotype me. Yes, I ride bikes. Yes, I have tattoos.” He chuckled when he saw Angus’s eyebrows shoot up at hearing that. “And I happen to love reading.” He narrowed his eyes at Angus. “I don’t recognize your name, though.”
Angus shrugged. “I use a pen name. And I’m not a huge author, so you probably haven’t heard my name anyway.”
“What’s your pen name?”
Angus shook his head. “I don’t tell anyone.”
Ben got that. It was his own thing and none of Ben’s business. He stayed quiet, waiting for Angus to getback to what had brought them to the office in the first place.
“Don’t you need to get back out there?” Angus asked.
Ben shook his head. “We’re just talking about proper seating and helmet safety. Candy’s practically an expert. If she needs help, she’ll come get me.”
Angus took a deep breath and let it whoosh out as he stared into Ben’s eyes. “I guess I owe you an explanation.”
Ben shook his head. “You don’t owe me anything, man. But I’m here to listen and I promise not to judge.”
Angus ran a hand through those thick curls and, once again, Ben had to suppress the urge to take the man into his arms.
“I knew someone who died in a motorcycle wreck,” Angus whispered.
Ben had suspected that.
“It was ten years ago. My brother…my twin brother Andrew was hit by a drunk driver. He wasn’t wearinga helmet and died on the highway.” His voice hitched as he shared his story.
“I’m so sorry, Angus,” Ben murmured, rising from his desk and heading over to hug the man.
But Angus put out his hands. “No! You don’t understand. It…it was my fault!” He yanked off the jacket. “I can’t do this.” He looked everywhere but at Ben before he turned on his heels and walked off.
Ben didn’t have to follow him to know he wasn’t going back to the class. He’d left.
4
He’d made a fool of himself in front of the sexiest man he’d ever met. Ben had gone out of his way to comfort the crazy man in his class and then what had Angus done? He’d run like a child.
Again.
Angus was so tired. He’d carried this weight for so long; there were times he felt he could sink like a stone and never find his way back up. He walked through his tiny apartment and pulled his shirt off over his head. A musky scent hit him and he took a deep breath. Ben.
Well, he’d never see that man again. Too bad. Angus had felt a real pull to Ben and wondered if he was gay. When he’d been in Ben’s arms earlier, held so tenderly, he’d wanted to stay there forever.