“Did you hear me? I’m gay. If you have a problem with that, tell me now.”
“Oh, I heard you,” Caleb whispered as he inched closer, tracing his finger along Lucas’ jaw line, then tapping just under his chin, tilting up his head a little. “I heard you loud and clear,” he murmured before his lips pressed against Lucas’. Lightly. His gut clenched and he knew he could easilylose control.
Lucas gasped as he pulled away, and his lips twitched into a smile. He looked at Caleb through heavy-lidded eyes and an adorable blush spread across his face.
Caleb cupped Lucas’ chin, stroking the soft skin with his thumb. “I’ve been wanting to do this since yesterday.”
Suddenly, Lucas yanked backward, standing and sending his chair flying. “What are you…but, you’re not…what is going on?” he sputtered, eyes flashing at Caleb.
“I’m gay,” Caleb whispered, leaning back in his chair.
“But you…you’re a jock. That’s just not…I mean, I don’t know what to say.” Lucas threw his arms in the air.
“Excuse me, but athletes can be and are gay, Lucas. You know that. Don’t stereotype me.”
Lucas flushed and looked away. “You’re right. I know this. I…you just took me by surprise, is all. I didn’t think…I mean, I had no idea…” Lucas came back to the table. “I’m sorry. I…I’m sorry.”
Caleb grinned and leaned in for another kiss. Now that he’d tasted Lucas, he wanted another bite at theapple.
But Lucas had other ideas. He pressed his palm against Caleb’s chest, stopping him.
“What?” Caleb asked, confused. Was he wrong about their mutual attraction?
“Are you out?” Lucas asked, his voice quiet but firm.
Caleb exhaled deeply. Time to be honest. “No. I’m not out.” His gaze flicked to the other side of the kitchen, then back to Lucas.
“Not out to anyone? Or just not out to the team?”
Caleb scrunched his eyebrows together. “No one knows. Why does it matter?”
Lucas shook his head. “Because I am out. I’m proud of who I am and won’t be shamed into staying hidden. I was somebody’s little secret once, and I won’t ever go through that again.”
Caleb breath whooshed out. He looked at his feet for a moment before leveling his gaze at Lucas. “Look,it’s not that I’m ashamed of who I am. I’ve known I was gay most of my life. It can be…dangerous…foran athlete to come out. Plus, my dream is to make it to the Show someday.” He smiled at Lucas’ look of confusion. “The Major Leagues,” he clarified.
Lucas nodded, still appearing a little confused.
Caleb began to feel the moment unravel, and he grew irritated. “Besides, you’re acting like I’m looking for some long-term commitment. Hell, we just met, Lucas. I thought we might have some fun, but if you aren’t into it, that’s fine.” He leaned back into his chair and shrugged, groaning inwardly at his words. He was lying. And being hurtful. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.
Lucas paled and looked at his laptop. “I’m not asking for a commitment. I agree with you. We did just meet. But I respect myself too much to hide who I am. I won’t do it for anyone.”
Caleb’s stomach churned, and his skin felt cold and clammy. What the hell was going on? Why would he feel such an intense reaction to Lucas’ rejection? He needed to think, so he stood and excused himself. “I’ll be back in a minute,” he said through gritted teeth and strode to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
He sat on the bed, bracing his hands on his knees, and took a slow, deep breath. His heart raced, and he trembled all over. How had one little kiss reduced him to this? How could he go back in there and face Lucas? He cringed as his words returned to him. Did he really say “I thought we might have some fun”? Fuck. Lucas probably thought he was an ass.
Caleb stared at his reflection in the large mirror over his dresser. He looked like shit, so he moved into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He pressed the towel to his skin and tried to shake the idea that he’d just blown things with Lucas. But, hey, they had just met. And they didn’t really know each other. He locked eyes with himself in the mirror. “Get your ass out there and show him who you are. Show him the real you, not the jerk you just were.”
As he walked to the door, he noticed the piece of paper on the carpet.
Juan. Damn. He had forgotten to read the man’s note. He picked it up and carefully unfolded it.