Chapter 45

FULL RED MOON OF DESIRE

CASSIE

I had other ideas, but the full moon wasn’t one to be trifled with.

It heightens every dark and unclear emotion; rage, anger, pain, and the need to mate – all of it combined is catastrophic. I couldn't think, but I could feel - and I was feeling it all. My body burned with a desire that I didn't think I had. It was so hot that my cheeks burned between my legs.

I couldn’t hear anything other than the rapid beating of my heart, and I couldn’t see anything for my eyes were closed shut. I ran a hand down my neck in a lame attempt to keep myself from continually burning up, but there was little to what I could do.

I felt myself being lifted and placed under a cold bath – I didn’t know if I had moved, or if I had been lifted, all I knew was that I was going wild on the inside, and I might not be able to suppress it.

I wasn’t still thinking. My eyes were closed, and I reached forward to grab onto the person in front of me. I didn’t want to be left alone like this, I didn’t want to wreak havoc around me. Father said that if I was going to be a great queen, one of the things I needed to learn to control was my innermost desires, and to keep my wolf blood in check when the full moon rose. It was difficult for someone like me with such novel abilities – because before I could learn what the monster that coursed through my veins was, father was assassinated, and mother ran away.

Now, I am left with a pile of unsorted emotions that could make or break me. I grabbed on tight to the arms that held me. I didn’t know whom they belonged to, but I knew if I let go, I might fall deeper into the dark abyss that was consuming me.

I needed to get out. I needed to see the light, but I was consumed and my body temperature rose drastically. It was as if I was being eaten alive by my innermost wolf being.

I felt the grasp slipping away from me, leaving me alone to wallow in the immense pain that grasped at my soul. I screamed in misery, not sure if it echoed loudly enough as a cry for help, or if it didn’t leave the walls of my chest.

I was on fire, my soul was tearing apart, and I was going wild.

As the water fell in splatters on my skin, it didn’t make any difference because the heat was from deep inside – the heat was from my soul, silently ripping me into shreds from within. The light in my eyes died, and I wondered if this was the line I had to cross before I died.

It was like this every red moon (mostly called full moon) by werewolves. My soul was always tearing me into shreds, reminding me that everything around me was temporary – every single thing I stood for was temporary, and just like life was in its full bloom, death wasn’t too far away.

Suddenly, I felt something breathe life into me. Just as I was about to be pulled apart, I felt the strong arms of comfort grasp me. I struggled for a bit, but it didn't let me go. My legs became numb. I felt like I was becoming the cryo-dead and I cried out with disappointment. I felt a hand gently stroking my face and suddenly I felt myself warm again. The grip on my face loosened and my tears ceased to flow. I looked up and I saw him. His eyes were clear and bright, and I looked deep into them as if searching for something, but I couldn't recognize him. When he looked away, I moved to touch him.

Before I could form a coherent thought and before I could make up my mind about who he was, I felt his lips catch mine in a primitive heat of passion. That was what held me at bay, the ability to feel like this and return the feeling.

I felt his arms run down my back in more than a feeling of comfort. It sent electric sparks up my system, igniting my feelings, as if telling me that I knew how to feel this way too.

As I battled the pain that coursed through my system, I pulled away, leaving his lips slightly on mine. "Don't leave me," I whispered.

He closed his eyes. "I don't want to."

"But I..."

"It was worth it, it was worth it."

With a sigh, I did as he said. He grabbed my shoulders, as if reassuring himself that I was still there, and let me go. I could feel tears burning my eyes, and I covered them, panting.

He wiped my cheeks. "I won't leave you like that." He told me with a kiss. "I'll take care of you." I was left there, in his arms, wondering what these reigniting feelings stood for. Why did it feel different from when I was with Matt, why was it tender and soothing? Why was it helping me control my innate self from ripping apart. "I know. I know."

He held me tight and kissed the top of my head, "Don't cry," he murmured. I did what he said, he felt so good. "We'll find a way to get you back on your feet."

"You're the only one," I said. "You'll never leave me."

"I swear I won't."

My body burned with something different this time. It burned with a thirst for passion, and without thinking, because I wasn’t allowed to, I pulled him towards me in a fiery explosive kiss. He fought the urge to respond at first, but even he couldn’t fight back the alluring need to give in, the wet heat of his tongue coaxing my mouth into submission.

I heard him groan and tighten his grip on my shoulders. I pressed my body against him as if to give him some support in case he started to fall. I felt the firmness of his chest as I lay against him and the warm thud as it rocked us in our embrace. My hands reached to his chest, searching for something, and without thinking I cupped him in my hands and ran my thumbs over the ridge of his sternum. He let out a sharp intake of breath.

I gasped and he felt me move to undo his jeans. When I felt my fingers graze his erection through his underwear, he groaned and surged forward, only to get halted by whatever fabric was hindering him.

Our movement was spontaneous, almost lyrical, I could feel my clothes being ripped off of me, and I could feel his arms grabbing me in ways that my soul approved off. We were two animals in heat, basking under the wrath of the full moon. We were ready for the torment, and we were taking the lashing pain that came with it in its stride, stroke by stroke, not minding how long it will last.