Chapter 199 You are the reason.

Chapter 199 You are the reason.
CHAPTER 199
You are the reason.
REID
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“But that’s love, to give everything away, to sacrifice everything without the slightest desire to get anything in return – Albert Camus.”
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He stares at me as if I’m the last person he expected to see.

“What are … what are you doing here?” He blinks, stunned. 

I swallow dryly, because that is a good question. He didn’t want me here, and yet I came. Is that bad? Did I cross any lines? I push away the thoughts and meet him halfway, hands in my pockets. “I know you didn’t want me to come with you, but I thought you might be hungry afterwards. We can go to Spencer's.” 

He doesn’t say anything, and only stares at me. My stomach knots. There’s a gap between us, and it is all my fault. 

“How did you know where to find me?” He takes a step closer. 

“Your mom told me. I hope that’s okay.” I murmur, cheeks burning. This is so awkward. Why is it so awkward? 

“Of course, it’s okay, Reid. You are my boyfriend.” He exhales and walks to me. 

I got my cast taken off yesterday. I can put as much pressure as I want on my knee. I’m better now, and he took care of me while I wasn’t. I only want to return the favour, but it seems I went about it the wrong way. 

“Come on, we need to talk.” I reach for his hand.

But he jerks backwards, staring at me in confusion. “That sounds like the beginning of a break-up. Are you breaking up with me?” 

He has to be joking, right? 

“What? No, why would you even think that for one moment? What’s going on?” I frown at him, heart racing. 

“You’re the one who has been keeping secrets from me, hiding your phone and laptop whenever I’m in the room, or did you think I did not notice? And now you said ‘we need to talk’, which everyone knows is the cliché beginning of a shitty breakup.” He glares at me, folding his arms. 

Yeah, I did go about this the wrong way. 

“Please come with me, and no, we are not breaking up, not now, not ever.” I offer him my hand again. He hesitates a second before taking it. 

Warmth spreads through my chest at the contact, but dread is still simmering in my belly. What if he doesn’t see this as I do? I really shouldn’t have kept anything from him. 

We get in my car, and I hand him the file I’d been working on for the past couple of days. He takes it from me gingerly, and slowly flips through the pages. He is sitting stiffly and tense, but as he reads on, his shoulder relaxes, and his brows knit. I’m not sure if it is a good sign. While he skims through it all, I try not to pick at my knee.

Then, he looks at me and reads aloud. “Saint’s long and certain road to recovery.” 

My cheeks heat, because it sounds cheesy coming from him. I didn’t mean to make him a recovery pamphlet that sounds so cheesy, but I doubt there was any other way it could have been. 

“You did this? You’ve been working on this?” He closes the file, and I nod. 

“Yes, I have been working on it,” I mumble, cheeks burning. “I know this is a journey you want to walk alone, and I really understand it, but I wanted you to know you’re not alone. I have been making researches on how to get past the lows, how to push through the withdrawal symptoms and how to come out on the other side of it. It is going to be a tough couple of months, but I know we can do it. Think of it as your recovery kit, filled with reasons to continue and hidden messages.” 

He doesn’t respond, so I keep talking.

“I know it’s a little cheesy, and if you don’t want to take the file with you, I can send a copy to your phone –” 

He pulls me to him and kisses me hard, catching me off guard. My heart jolts in my throat as he kisses me deeper. He nibbles on my bottom lip, cupping my face softly, pouring all his love into me. I feel the tension leave my body as I give in to him, to all of him. Fuck, I love him. 

“You are my reason.” He pulls away, breathless. 

“Hm?” I blink, a little dazed from the kiss. 

“You are my reason, Reid. My reason for all this. It is you. You are the reason I wake up in the morning and choose to continue even when it’s hard. You are the greatest motivation I could ever find. It’s you. It’s always you.” His voice trembles at the edges, and my heart quivers.

“You are my reason too. I love you, deeply and dearly.” I press my mouth to his, and he smiles. 

“Why don’t we swing by Spencer’s for a pickup and eat it at home? I missed spending time with you.” He suggests, running his thumb over my lower lip. 

My belly tightens, and I nod, “Yeah, sounds like a perfect plan.” 

I drive us to Spencer's, where we pick up our food, and head back home. Our parents aren’t home. We settle in the living room, on the couch, with the food in front of us, and Daredevil on the TV. 

“Blake is throwing a party on Friday. Are you down?” I ask him, stealing a spoonful from his plate. 

“The entire football team or mixed with people we don’t know?” He frowns at me, pushing my curls off my face. I need a haircut. 

“The party is at an elite club, so probably with a few people we don’t know. We can stay home, though. No pressure.” I assure him, leaning into him. All I want to do is spend time with him. It doesn’t matter where we are, as long as I am with him. 

“Could be fun though, and we can recreate some of our escapades now that your knee is healed.” He suggests, tone dipping low. 

I glance at him and shake my head in amusement. “Sure, we can do whatever you want to do.” 

We fall asleep on the fourth episode, tangled up with each other on the couch. An hour later, I wake to Dad tapping me on the shoulder softly. For a second my heart skips a beat, until I remember we no longer have to hide our love. He doesn’t even look pissed, just exhausted from work. 

“Why don’t you boys head upstairs? I’ll clear up this place.” He suggests, giving me a small smile. 

Saint shifts beside me, waking up slowly.

“Are you sure? We can do it.” I stifle a yawn. 

“I’m sure. Go to bed.” He insists, and I nod, pleased. Our relationship has grown a lot in the past few days, and it is all thanks to Saint. He has changed my life.