Chapter 8

Willow.

How did I end up in this situation?

I stopped to think about it. Sure, I’d had a sort of crush on Sebastian from pretty much the moment I saw him. It should have been an easy enough thing for me to get over, but not only was he my boss, I’d also ended up having to shadow him, so the two of us came into more contact than I’d thought we would initially.

The first time he’d nearly seduced me in his office, I didn’t even think of saying no. The moment he looked at me as if he was ready to devour me, my body had grown heated. So when he closed in on me, when he touched me, I went with it, and we fucked.

A week later, he apologized for it, and I had been both relieved and disappointed. He hadn't noticed my crush, but I didn’t like that he regretted it, either. Or conversation back then was extremely awkward for the both of us, then he went on his trip, and I thought it would end there. Only for him to come back and seduce me after that.

We hadn't stopped since, either. Not really.

I woke up from my daydream when my intercom beeped. I picked the phone up quickly.

“Yes?”

“Willow, can you come to my office, please? There’s something I need you to do for me.”

“Right away,” I said quickly, then stood up and wondered when we were going to have a conversation and talk about that night or any of the nights there after. We’d once again gone from being intimate to ignoring each other at work, to being intimate again.

I’d looked after Andy who had gone from being the worse child in the world to one that was completely misunderstood. I wanted to tell Sebastian that maybe all Andy needed was his attention, but then I lacked that too most of the time. I’d gone from being his shadow to his babysitter to his lover and back to his shadow again and it just went on repeat from there.

What the hell is going on between us?

I had to say something, tell him what was on my mind, but every time I wanted to do it, silence ended up being my friend once again. When did I lose my confidence? When did I become this feeble of a woman?

The moment I got under Sebastian Black’s spell. I put away the documents I was supposed to be looking over, before I lost myself to my daydreams, then hurried to Sebastian’s office, and gave a quick knock before I walked inside.

“You needed me, Sebastian?” I asked before I could even clear my throat and talk the way I normally spoke, not the voice that came out whenever I was near Sebastian.

He was checking something on his computer, and he looked up at me when I walked in, but his eyes were distant.

“Ah, yes. There are some documents I need you to verify for me real quick. If you need to make any changes, just let me know before you make them and try to be as fast as possible? Thanks.”

There was a folder on his desk, and he pushed it toward me. I walked forward slowly to pick it up. I watched his face, but he was already back to looking at his computer.

“How do I do the verification?” I asked, picking the folder up and looking at the papers inside.

“Look over the database for the information, please. I don’t have the time to give you the specifics right now. You can do it, right?”

“Um, I do have something else I was working on, but I guess I can do it after this…?”

He shot me a distracted smile that didn’t reach his eyes, then was back to looking at his computer. “Great. Thanks, Willow.”

I lingered for a bit, but he didn’t look up, and I turned to leave, disappointed. I went back to my desk to get the work done, sighing to myself.

It wasn’t the first time he’d treated me like air while we were at work. It had been nearly three weeks already since he’d come back from his overseas trip. I didn’t know exactly what I’d expected after I spent the night at his house back then, but it sure as hell wasn’t this.

I still did my work to perfection, though. Just because I was having some trouble with my love life, if I could even call it that, didn’t mean it was an excuse to be useless at work suddenly. I tried to keep my preoccupation to a minimum for the rest of the day.

Sebastian still had work to do when I stopped by his office, so I knew I’d be leaving the office early today.

“I’ll see you later,” Sebastian said, face still buried behind his computer, as I left his office.

My heart clenched, but I didn’t look back, and my steps didn’t falter. I went back to my desk and packed my stuff away, then picked up my purse and coat, and left work. I couldn’t take this anymore, and besides, I needed a drink to calm my nerves. Something had to give, and I needed to get a good night’s sleep and get up in the morning and do it. I’d been telling myself for that days now, but tomorrow was another day, and I had a feeling that it would be a great one.

***

When I arrived home, the first thing I did was get a glass of water, then sit on my couch in the living room.

I wanted to call Ivy and talk to her. Have a good rant about how annoying men could be with their mixed signals.

Am I missing something?

I didn’t think so, though. Sebastian wasn’t the one not being clear about his intentions, but then I never asked, did I?

Maybe…all he wants to do is fuck me, and as long as he gets that, he doesn’t care about anything else?

I could be naïve sometimes, or so people had told me before, but I wasn’t stupid. Even before we fucked in his office, our working relationship had never been this bland. I could say sometimes he didn’t like me following him around all the time, but he would at least look at me and see me when he talked to me. I used to love it when he looked at me, but recently, he barely did, if ever, and when he did, it was like he was looking through me.

He practically ignored me while we were at work. However, when it was late at night, he was all over me. Ever since I’d spent the night over, he would call me over to his place when Andy had gone to sleep.

I was worried because even though sleeping with him was nice, I wanted more than to be some guy’s booty call, which was what I felt like almost all the time now.

As if to remind me, my phone rang in my purse, and I pulled it out.

“Please be someone else,” I muttered to myself, though my heart was already beating with excitement and anticipation.

Sure enough, the name on my screen was Sebastian’s. He’d sent a simple message;

Come over.

Just like that, as if he was summoning me over to his house and he had no doubt that I would go when called. But that was the real problem. He called me out when he wanted me, and he ignored me at work, but every single time he called… With a sigh, I got up to get changed into something more comfortable, then hurried my way out of the apartment.

I never once said no.

I needed to say it, just once…