Chapter Thirteen—Reece

I woke up the last three mornings with my hand under the sheets, stroking my cock while I dreamed of being buried inside Macey. Maybe I just needed to do it—get her alone, and get her out of my system once and for all. That would fix this shit. Then again, maybe I’m just lying to myself.

“Reece?” Oliver pokes his head inside my office, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Yeah?” I glance up from my desk and my neck cracks. I haven’t spoken to him in days, not since that showdown at the engagement party where he called me out.

“There are two new submissives here—smokin’ hot too—who are asking to see Reece Jackson. You want me to call upstairs and have your private room prepared for a ménage scene?”

Normally the idea of two beautiful woman willing to submit to me would make my dick hard, but right now? I might as well be dead for all the interest I have. “No. I’m busy.”

Oliver’s eyes widen. “Too busy for pussy? That’s a first.” He chuckles.

“When I finish up my work here, I’m headed to Hale’s. I need to clear the air between us once and for all. We need to talk this shit out, or do whatever it is guys do when they’ve been fighting.”

“And what about Macey?” Oliver puts on a fake smile and crosses his arms over his chest.

Tired of him harassing me about this, I massage my temples. “What about her?”

“You’re not seriously still going to try and pretend you’re not in love with her, are you?”

That stabbing pain flickers inside my chest. “Get to the goddamn point,” I bark.

“You need to tell Hale how you feel about her.”

“Go take care of our guests, Oliver.” I glance back at my laptop and continue my work, ignoring him until I see him leave from the corner of my eye. Nosy bastard. If only he wasn’t right.

• • •

“Where’s Brielle tonight?” I ask Hale, admiring the view from their new thirtieth-floor condo in the heart of downtown. City lights twinkle below, and the dark waters of Lake Michigan glimmer in the distance. There are touches of both him and her throughout the tastefully decorated space.

“She’s actually out with my sister. Girl time, or something.”

“Hmph.”

“Something on your mind, man?” Hale comes to stand beside me at the floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room, and hands me a drink.

I take a large gulp, the liquor burning my throat as I swallow it for courage before meeting his eyes. “I wanted to come here tonight to clear the air between us. I know you didn’t want me messing around with Macey, but I came to you first, if you recall. And that was pretty fucked up not inviting me to your engagement party.”

Hale lets out a heavy sigh. “I know, and I feel like shit about that, actually. Your gift was very generous. Thank you again.”

“This isn’t about the gift. I need to know that we’re good.”

“Come sit down.” Hale heads to the leather sofa, and I sit down in a chair across from him. Once we’re settled, he lets out a long sigh. “Macey’s the only family I have. When my parents died, it changed me, made me grow up in a lot of ways I wasn’t ready for. And even if I wasn’t old enough to become Macey’s legal guardian, in my mind, I was. She was my responsibly. Her education, her well-being, who she hung out with—all of it became my job to know. Back then she actually spent most of her time with either me or you, and I never worried about her. I knew you would look out for her as if she was your own sister.”

I inwardly cringe. I never saw Macey as anything close to a sister. No, my intentions were much more sinful than that. Feeling worse than ever, I focus on Hale’s words once again.

“But that was then, and you were different then. And it’s not just because of your interest in BDSM these last few years; you were different as a person. You laughed more, you smiled, you took more chances. You had more fun. These days you’re all brooding and hot-tempered, and not looking for anything more than a weekend plaything to take into your private room at the club and do God knows what with them, if the rumors are true. I want more for my sister. I hope you understand.”

“Of course I understand. I know you want what’s best for Macey. I get that.” But so do I.

He smiles at me sadly. “You’ve changed. You’ve become this lost, broken man.”

“First Oliver, and now you,” I mutter, getting really fucking tired of people looking at me like a lost puppy who needs saving.

“Oliver?” Hale’s eyebrows lift.

“Nothing. He called me out for something similar.”

Even though I’m trying to downplay it with Hale, Oliver’s words are still ringing in my head. You’re in love with her. That twisting feeling in my chest is back. I might need to get that checked out.

Or maybe I just need to face reality. Macey could forever be the one who got away, unless I could do something about it. Tonight.

Hale’s watching me with a serious, solemn expression. “I guess what I’m saying is that I want the very best for my sister. Nothing against you, because you’re my best friend, but I don’t think you can offer her everything she deserves.”

His accusations sting, and I can’t resist biting back. “Have you asked Macey what she wants? What she thinks she deserves? Don’t you want your sister to be happy? Have you asked her why she came to Crave?”

He tilts his head toward me and narrows his eyes. We square off this way, neither of us speaking or even blinking as the energy around us changes to something tense.

“I just don’t want to see her get hurt,” he says at last, his voice softer.

He’s right. Hot guilt flashes through me. All these years of keeping something this monumentally big from my closest friend suddenly feels wrong. Beyond wrong. Deceitful. Sinful.

“Listen, there’s something I need to tell you.” My heart picks up speed, banging painfully against my ribs.

Hale leans forward, listening intently.

“Macey and I… years ago…” Embarrassed, I give him a pleading look. “Shit, don’t hit me, okay?”

“Damn it. Just get it out, Reece.”

I take a deep breath and release it slowly. “I loved her back then.”

“Wow.” He rakes his hands through his hair and leans back in his seat. “That’s not what I expected to hear you say. I knew you guys were close back then, but—” His eyes widen, then narrow suspiciously on me. “Wait, you loved her like a sister, or something more?”

“More.” Much more.

Speaking that one word removes a weight from my chest, a weight I’ve carried around for years. There’s so much I want to tell him, to get off my conscience. I want to tell him that I was madly, deeply in love with Macey, that I wanted to be her first lover, but I resisted out of respect for my friendship with him. And because of that, I was fucking shattered when she left for college in the fall. That I’ve turned to BDSM to ease the pain of losing her.

“And now?” He’s gazing at me thoughtfully, as if he’s trying to piece everything together.

Before I can answer, the front door opens, and a burst of feminine laughter spills into the room as Brielle and Macey enter the condo. Macey’s gaze drifts over to me and her smile instantly fades.

That hurts worse than the punch I was anticipating from Hale earlier.

Brielle grins at us both and crosses the room, bending down to plant a kiss on Hale’s lips.

“You taste like peaches,” he murmurs.

“Behave.” She gives him a flirty wink.

“Did you ladies have a nice time?” Hale asks.

Macey sits down in the chair beside mine, and just her physical nearness makes my heart beat faster. It’s always been that way, though. She affects me on a chemical level, one that I’ve never been able to explain.

“Yes, it was fun,” Macey says.

“Macey got a new job, and we were out celebrating,” Brielle adds to fill me in.

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” Macey meets my eyes quickly, and then dips her chin toward the floor as if she’s just lost some of her nerve.

I glance over at Brielle, who’s watching us like we’re the featured entertainment. All that’s missing is the popcorn.

“Let me see that big rock.” I reach out to Brielle, embarrassed that I was so damn distracted at the engagement party, it never even occurred to me.

Brielle places her left hand in mine and flashes the sparkly, round-cut diamond that looks classic and perfect on her finger.

I grin up at her. “The bastard has good taste.”

“Thank you.” She smiles and kisses my cheek. “Hale? Join me in the kitchen for a minute?”

“It would be rude to leave our guests,” he says evenly as his gaze bounces between Macey and me. He’s obviously trying to figure out where things stand between us, and what’s been going on right under his nose. The bomb I just dropped on him is obviously still ringing loudly in his head.

“Since when am I a guest?” Macey asks, that spark of hers shining brightly.

“Hale, dear. Now,” Brielle says.

He rises to his feet and follows her to the kitchen on the other side of the condo.

“Dom, my ass,” I mutter under my breath.

Macey chuckles, lightening the mood for a second before she eyes me with suspicion. “What are you doing here, Reece?” It’s as though she knows I just bared my soul to Hale, or at least attempted to.

“I came here intent on telling Hale what I want, and I wasn’t leaving until he understood it.”

Her nose crinkles as if she wants to understand, but doesn’t. “And you guys are good?”

“I think so.”

I glance into the kitchen to see Hale looking our way, still closely watching my interaction with Macey. Part of me can’t believe I came here to openly square off with him. I hadn’t gotten the chance to say everything I wanted to, but I know I will. I’ll set this right. These last few weeks have been eye opening. The people in my life who’ve forced me to take a good, hard look in the mirror have showed me that I don’t like the man I’ve become.

“Listen, Macey, there are some things I need to apologize for.”

“I’m listening,” she says, folding her hands in her lap.

Fuck, where do I begin?

I regret that I didn’t kiss her in our sessions. I regret the rough treatment I showed her body. Most of all, I regret letting her walk away six years ago. If she gives me another chance, and I pray she does, I want her stretched out in my bed, no ropes and no toys. Just pleasure and intimacy I’ve craved for six long years. I need to say good-bye to the man I once was, because if we do this, there will be no going back.

“I loved you back then. You knew that, right? I never said the words, but—”

“Yes, I knew.” Her voice drops, and her eyes glisten with moisture.

“And it fucking gutted me when you left.”

Her brows pull together. “You’re the one who helped me fill out my college applications, practically pushed me out of the nest.”

“I know. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat, because you were destined for more. I wasn’t going to be the prick who held you back from achieving it.”

“Yeah, some success story I turned out to be,” she says quietly under her breath.

“Don’t you dare define yourself by one failed relationship and a job that was going under. You fled when you needed to, and you’re bouncing back just fine.”

“I guess so.”

“What I really want to apologize for is our sessions. You scared me. You strolled into my club, so cool and confident, and you knew exactly what you wanted. I made a bargain with myself that I wouldn’t get attached, or feel anything for you again. I tried to treat you like any other sub, but it was quite obvious that you weren’t.”

“No, I’m not a submissive. It was a stupid idea, stupid of me to think we could do this without feelings getting involved. And stupid to think I could play the role of the kind of woman you like.”

“You’re the only kind of woman I like. All of this—the club, the toys—it was all meant as a distraction. I needed it like I needed air.”

“What are you saying, Reece?”

If she trusts me enough to do this, I’m packing up all the impersonal BDSM implements I’ve used as a crutch. And not as some grand gesture, but because I want to. We won’t need any blindfolds or handcuffs because I’ll want her to see me, to touch me. It scares me, but it’s what I want. And if she wants toys in the bedroom, we’ll buy them together.

“Come outside on the balcony with me?” I want to get away from the curious ears of Hale and Brielle, who are standing only twenty feet away. Macey rises from the chair, and I grab the throw blanket from the back of the couch and wrap it around her shoulders. She hugs the blanket to her and follows me out onto the balcony. I slide the glass door closed as Macey stands near the railing, looking out at the spectacular view.

For a moment we just listen to the city noises below. The hum of traffic. A police siren fading in the distance. The whoosh of wind that lifts her hair from her neck.

It’s January in Chicago, and barely thirty degrees out. Our breathing comes out in soft puffs as the warm air contrasts with the cold. I want to pull her into my arms and hold her small frame against mine, but I know I’ve lost that right.

“I wanted to properly apologize for the way I treated you. I shouldn’t have left you alone like that after our sessions. But I hope you understand now that I needed to get away. I couldn’t seem to separate the emotion from the sex.”

She turns to face me, her blue eyes sparkling in the moonlight. “Neither could I. That’s why I didn’t want a third session. I couldn’t do that again with you without falling for you.”

“I’ve already fallen,” I murmur, my lips coming dangerously close to touching hers.

“What are you saying?” Her breath is a warm pant against my mouth.

“You might have said this was just sex, but you’re about to get a whole lot more, because if we do this, there will be no going back.”

“Reece?”

“I want a real shot with you. I want to tell Hale everything. I want to make up for not being there for you for the past six years, and I’ll fight for you if I have to. I want to protect you, cherish you, own you…” The words pour from me, and once they’re out, a wave of panic swims through me. Macey doesn’t say anything, and the seconds tick past.

Leaning closer, she breathes out, “Will you make love to me?”

When her lips barely brush mine, I have to physically restrain myself from taking her mouth and fucking it with my tongue. Reminding myself that her brother is still watching from inside does the trick.

I force a deep breath into my lungs. “I want to bury myself balls deep inside your sweet body. I want to fuck you for hours. Days. Months. Years.”

“Years?” Her lips twitch with a small smile. “I might get a little sore.”

“Then I’ll tend to your every ache and pain, soothe every discomfort. You will be mine.”

Tears spring to her eyes, and she blinks them away.

“Hey, what is it?” I whisper.

“I’ve waited so long for this. This is the version of you I’ve missed and dreamed about for six years.”

Pleasure swims through me, and my heart feels whole again. “I’m here.”

“I thought I lost you,” she whispers.

“I’m back.” I tug the blanket higher over her shoulders and press a kiss to her forehead. “Can I take you home?”

“Please.”

We head inside to join Hale and Brielle in the kitchen. I hold her hand the entire time, a distinct sign of ownership, and Hale reacts accordingly, watching me closely with a scowl slashed across his face. I know I’ll have to prove myself to him, and I intend to. However long it takes.

“I’m going to take Macey home.” My voice is firm.

Macey hugs Brielle, and then tells her brother good-bye. Hale shoots me evil glares the entire time.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, sis?” he asks.

“Stop it, Cameron. I’ve forgiven Reece. You need to too.”

Hearing her say she’s forgiven me is like a shot of adrenaline. “I’m going to do things right this time,” I say, looking him square in the eye. I have no idea what that means or what comes next, but I know I can’t continue living as the man I was.

“Don’t fuck it up,” he says sternly, tugging Brielle tightly to his side.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I give Macey’s hand a squeeze and we head toward the door. It feels like I’m walking toward my future, and the significance of this moment isn’t lost on me.

After I help her inside my car and crank up the heater, we sit there quietly for a moment, as if we’re unwilling to break the silence just yet. I have zero expectations of anything happening between us tonight since I’m pretty certain I have to rebuild her trust in me. I’m not sure what that might involve, but I’m thinking proper dates, roses for no reason, handwritten notes telling her all the things I love about her. And time. Time to prove that I’m here for the long haul, and I won’t leave or send her away again.

I put the car into gear, then realize I’m unsure how to get to her apartment. “What’s your address?”

She turns to look at me, a mischievous glint in her eye. “I thought we’d go to your place.”

“You want to go to Crave?”

She shrugs. “I think we’ve waited long enough, don’t you?”

Hearing those words spill from her mouth ignites something inside me. They encapsulate everything I’ve felt. Placing my hand on the back of her neck, I guide her mouth to mine, and when our lips touch and she releases a small sigh, I almost lose all control. There is so much emotion behind that one little sound. Relief. Desire. Need.

My tongue quests for hers, licking and sucking in a sensual way. Macey moans against me and leans closer. I lift her over the console and place her in my lap, needing her closer still. The heat of her sweet cunt is pressing into my jeans and my cock jumps up, seeking entrance to the forbidden spot I’ve never allowed myself to go with her. She grinds against me, just as desperate to fuck as I am. My teeth graze her bottom lip as I lift my hips to press against her, stimulating her through her clothes.

“Reece, I want you,” she breathes against my mouth.

“You better be sure, Pancake, because once I start, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything.”

I want to yell, pump my fist in the air, and jump for joy. Instead I stomp down on the accelerator and get us the hell out of here.