CHAPTER 168

CHAPTER 168
The lights in the neonatal ward are soft and warm, the air filled with the faint scent of baby powder and antiseptic. Ciel finds Xerxes standing beside two tiny babies lying quietly in their bassinet, swaddled in warm blankets.

Xerxes's gaze is blank yet hard as he stares down at the babies as if they had offended him. Ciel doesn't need to ask him because he can already tell what's running through his mind. Ciel had lived through the torment of his father,  the man had been quite vocal in how much he hated Ciel and would make him suffer for the sins of his mother. For years, he sold his body to sell; he didn't feel human. Now, Xerxes might be like a monster like his father and would never do such a thing to these babies, but still, Ciel is worried.

Xerxes isn't touching the bassinets. He isn't even close. He stands a few feet away, arms crossed, shoulders stiff, staring at them like they are a complicated puzzle he doesn't ask to solve.

Ciel walks closer and stands beside him. For a few seconds, neither of them says anything.

“The DNA test came back,” Xerxes says in a low voice, his tone bitter. “They’re mine.” 

Ciel looks at the babies; they are cute as they sleep peacefully, unaware of the circumstances of their birth. “I know.”

Xerxes runs a hand through his hair, his jaw clenched. “I don’t know how to feel.”

Ciel says nothing. He won't know what to do or say in this situation either; that's why his father took the easiest way out, and that's to hate him.

“I was assaulted; I never thought she would be so bold as to do that to me,” Xerxes continues. “A maid… someone who worked for me. Someone I trusted. She did this, and now—” He motions vaguely toward the babies. “This is what’s left of that day.”

Ciel turns to him. “Tina’s dead.”

Xerxes doesn't even blink. “She escaped easily.” 

Ciel sighs.  “She made me promise… to protect them. Said she didn’t want them to grow up in hate.” he looks up at the man. “What are you going to do?”

Xerxes exhales slowly, his voice cold. “Get rid of them. Give them up. Adoption, maybe. I don’t care.”

Ciel’s eyes snapped toward him. “No, you can't get rid of them. They are innocent.” 

“They are not wanted. They’re a reminder that a mere maid could go so far.”

“They’re babies, Xerxes. They didn’t ask to be born. They didn’t choose any of this,” he exhales a deep breath. “I want to keep them, raise them. I don't know how, but I will figure it out. You don't have to love them, but you shouldn't hate them either. They are innocent; they don't deserve to suffer.”

Xerxes looks at him like he’s grown another head. “You’re serious?”

Ciel nods. “Yes. Because I see it now, history’s repeating itself. This is exactly what happened to me. Maybe it's my chance to correct the wrong that has been done in the past. I don't want them to grow up feeling unwanted, though it can't be avoided, but please, Xerxes, don't give them away; don't repeat the cycle of hate on the innocent.” 

Xerxes clenches his fists, looks at their babies, and feels nothing but contempt surging through him. Without a word, he turns away, his shoulder tense. “Do what you want, but don't bring them close to me.” 

Ciel smiles widely, and he looks at the twins. “Let’s go home.”

~

Three days later, Ciel stands in the nursery he had set up at the mansion. It isn't perfect yet, but he's going to make it the best room for two cute babies. 

He holds one baby against his shoulder while the other is curled up in a bassinet, blinking up at him with sleepy eyes. His green eyes flicker to the book in his hand. He read out loud. “How to Care for Your Newborns.”

Ciel laughs; he can't believe he's doing this. He has never liked the idea of kids, but look at him now. Fuck. How does this even work? How can he be so sure he's even doing this the right way?

“Okay,” he whispers, bouncing the baby gently. “It says here that babies cry for a lot of reasons. Hunger. Dirty diapers. Too hot. Too cold. Gas…” he trails off when the baby suddenly burps on his shirt, and Ciel grimaces. “Okay, definitely gas.”

He immediately settles the baby down beside his brother in the bassinet and suddenly, his heart swells with something he hasn't expected.

Love.

It's not instant, it's not huge, but it's there. These babies… are the tiniest, most vulnerable, most beautiful creatures he has ever seen. They are his and Xerxes' now, whether by blood or not. He's going to make Xerxes love them. Who can last long being angry with such cuties?

“I don’t know if I’ll be a good dad,” he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to one of their soft foreheads. “But I promise… I’ll never leave you. I’ll never let you feel unwanted.”

“We’re going to be okay,” Ciel says softly. “We’re going to be just fine.”