CHAPTER 158

CHAPTER 158
The drive back to the hospital is a long quiet one, the thoughts in Ciel's head going quiet for a moment.

He sighs again as he leans back in the car seat, his eyes closing and for a moment, his mind plays everything again. The look of hope and yet fear in Tina's eyes, her swollen stomach and the way she held the money to her chest like it was her last breath. Ciel isn't proud of what he did but that doesn't mean he regrets it.

Some things aren't about emotions, they are about doing what feels right.

“Will you be okay?” Lucas asks as he pulls up at the hospital’s parking lot, looking at Ciel with concern in his eyes. “I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this at a vulnerable time like this for you.”

Ciel runs a hand through his hair. “I just want my memories back so I can understand what's going on. Sometimes I don't even know what to feel about Xerxes and now he's there fighting for his life but I think I will be fine. Thank you for helping me today, Lucas. I owe you one,”

Lucas reaches out and ruffles his hair. “Any time,”

Ciel leaves Luca's car and he enters the hospital.

“He's awake,” the nurses at the front desk smile as she says gently and Ciel gives her a grateful nod and heads to the private room, his steps getting faster, eager to see Xerxes without all those machines attached to him.

When he gets there, he sees the door slightly open, he comes to a halt. Inside, Xerxes is sitting up on the bed, rubbing his wrist as he speaks to Sebastian who stands beside him like a shadow.

Xerxes still looks pale, still weak, his grey eyes look like they are losing color, even his hair isn't as dark as it used to be. Ciel hearts grow heavy at the sight.

Dragging in a deep breath, he steps in, and both men turn to look at him, their sharp eyes puncturing through his face as if he's been caught red handed, as if he has done something wrong. Well, he did do something but he doesn't know where to categorize that. He stops at the door.

Sebastian gives him a small nod and he walks past Ciel and quietly exits the room.

Ciel stays by the door for a moment. “You're awake,” he says as he fumbles with his hands held in front of him.

Xerxes looks at him with tired eyes. “Come closer, Kitten.”

Ciel bites his lips and slowly, he walks towards him and when he's close enough, Xerxes shakes his head and legs out a chuckle that sounds humorless.

“So… I hear you played hero.”

For the third time, Ciel pauses on his feet. He opens his mouth to speak but no word seems to come out.

Xerxes tilts his head. “I didn't expect that from you, kitten. You shouldn't try to fix things that shouldn't be fixed.”

Ciel sighs. “I thought it was the right thing to do. Your mother was here, then your sister, both of them telling me how I should help her,”

“The Ciel I know knows better than to listen to any word that comes out of my mother and sister's mouth,”

Ciel's head lowers, his hands clenched into fist at his side as the words sink in, hitting deeper than they should. “I'm sorry I'm no longer that Ciel, even I don't know myself sometimes. I feel like a stranger in someone else's body,” he lifts his head again, his eyes hard with determination. “I did what I thought felt right. She was starving and pregnant, chained like a dog,”

Xerxes looks away. “She deserves to be treated worse than a dog. That stupid maid drugged me, assaulted me and she's the fucking reason you had an accident and lost your memories. She was so desperate, she nearly killed both of us. She deserves a worse fate than death,”

“I know what she did,” Ciel mutters quietly. “But the child, whether it's yours or not, doesn't deserve to die.”

Xerxes snaps his head to him, his grey eyes showing he's unimpressed.

Ciel continues. “I may not have my memories and don't know how I should react or treat her or your mother and sister but I couldn't stand by and watch an innocent baby die because his mother was desperate.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, silence falls in the room, Xerxes doesn't speak. Ciel signs for the nth time. “I'm sorry, maybe I should have just minded my business and didn't get myself involved but I don't regret it,”

Xerxes' eyes finally soften. “Now that I'm awake, you should get your things ready to leave,”

Ciel's eyes widened. “But you are not fit enough to be discharged,”

Xerxes snorts. “Who the hell said that? Sebastian is getting the discharged papers ready.”

Ciel opens his mouth to speak but gets cut off when the door suddenly creaks open, he reels his head to see a doctor walks in with a mask over his face.

He doesn't speak to them, he casually heads over to the machine next to Xerxes's bed, checking the monitors.

Ciel approaches the doctor. “Are you really going to allow him to be discharged? What about the poison?”

Xerxes rolls his eyes but as his gaze lands on the man in white coat, he notices something else, the edge of a gun tucked into his coat. Xerxes eyes widens.

“Is he going to be alright?” Ciel continues, unaware of the danger but Xerxes sees everything and he moves when the man suddenly reaches for the gun in his pocket.

“CIEL!”

Xerxes clamors and he launches, he grabs Ciel by the arm and shoves him off just in time as the man pulls the trigger.

BANG.

Pain explodes in Ciel's head as the impact of the push sends him to the floor, his skull colliding with the cold tiles. Everything suddenly faints and fading in the background.

In an instant, his vision blurs but the sound of another loud bang echoes throughout the room and then he hears a loud crash, then a thud, then voices and screams.

And through the haze in his mind, he blinks, trying to focus. And then he sees it, Xerxes on the floor, bleeding from his chest, right where his heart is.

Tears immediately flood Ciel's eyes but he finds it unable to move, it's like he's been paralyzed and his head spins. He lips moves, calling Xerxes name in a loud cry but no sounds come out.

He's limp, feels heavy and his eyes won't stay open and before the darkness takes over completely, the last thing he sees is Xerxes body going still.