CHAPTER 56 - I need to think

I barely registered the feeling of Jayden’s arms around me until the warmth of his embrace pulled me from the fog of pain and exhaustion. His chest was against mine, his body trembling with emotion, and I felt his lips brush against my forehead as he whispered something I couldn’t quite understand.

“I’m so sorry, Daphne,” he muttered, his voice breaking. “I never meant to hurt you. I swear I didn’t.”

I didn’t want to hear his apologies. The words meant nothing to me anymore, not when everything felt like it was crumbling around me. I didn’t care about his regrets. My heart was raw, torn apart by everything that had happened, and all I could think about was one thing: Where is my child?

“Jayden…” My voice came out hoarse, barely a whisper, but it was enough. I pulled away from him slightly, my eyes searching his face for the one thing I needed. “Please… I just want to see my baby.”

His eyes widened, and his grip on me tightened for a moment before he froze. “Daphne…” he started, but then his gaze dropped to the sheets below, and his face went pale. I followed his gaze and realized that I was bleeding. My heart skipped a beat, panic flooding me again.

Before I could say anything, Jayden’s expression shifted. He quickly lifted me in his arms, his movements fast and precise as he carried me to the bed, placing me down gently. “Stay still. I’ll get a doctor.”

I barely had the strength to protest before he rushed out of the room, leaving me alone once again. My vision blurred, and the familiar sense of weakness overtook me. The world seemed to tilt as everything faded to black once more.

I woke up again, but this time I was aware of a presence beside me. I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the dim light in the room, and found Jayden’s mother sitting beside the bed, her cool fingers wrapped around mine.

Her presence should have been comforting, but instead, I felt a chill seep into my bones. I couldn’t bring myself to speak; my throat felt tight, and my heart was a mess of confusion.

She was silent for a long moment before she finally spoke, her voice low and steady. “Daphne, Jayden is indeed the father of your child.”

I stared at her, not sure how to respond. Part of me wanted to scream, to demand answers. But another part of me… I didn’t know what I felt anymore. The pain of betrayal still clung to my chest like a vice, and the thought of continuing anything with Jayden, especially after everything, seemed impossible.

I swallowed hard, pushing through the tightness in my chest. “But… I don’t know if I can forgive him. He’s hurt me too much.”

Her expression softened, and she squeezed my hand. “I understand, child. But you must think about your baby. The child needs a father. You can’t make decisions for the baby based on your pain alone.”

I closed my eyes, trying to block out the rush of conflicting emotions. A father… Could I give my child a father when my own heart was so broken? I didn’t know if I could even stand to look at Jayden again, let alone try to rebuild anything between us. But at the same time, I couldn’t bear the thought of my child growing up without a father.

“I… I need time,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “I need to think.”

Jayden’s mother nodded, standing slowly. “I’ll leave you alone to process. But you must remember, time is precious for the both of you.”

As she left, I was left alone once again, the weight of her words pressing heavily on me. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, my mind a tangled mess. There was no easy answer. There was no one path to take.

The days blurred into each other, each one a monotonous cycle of pain and silence. Jayden visited every day, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak to him. His presence in the room felt suffocating, a constant reminder of everything that had gone wrong. He would sit beside me, his eyes pleading for a response, but I refused to give him one. I couldn’t even look at him without feeling a wave of anger and heartbreak.

I spent most of my time in the nursery, watching my baby through the glass, my heart aching as I saw my child, so fragile and small, lying in the incubator. The nurses would pass by, checking on the little ones, but no one came close to me. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, not even Grace. She had tried to reach out to me, but I had pushed her away, my walls thickening with every passing day.

The only person I allowed near me, the only person I spoke to at all, was Mr. Horton. He visited once, sitting by my bedside with a gentle expression, his presence a quiet comfort amid the chaos of my emotions.

It was a week later when Jayden came to me once more, carrying a bouquet of white roses. His face was a mixture of hope and desperation, his eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep, and I knew that he hadn’t stopped thinking about me, about us, for a single moment.

“Daphne…” His voice cracked, and he stepped closer to the bed, holding the flowers out to me, his hands shaking slightly. “Please… Please talk to me.”

I didn’t say anything at first, the words stuck in my throat, the pain and confusion still too raw to process. He lowered the roses slightly, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of my silence was too much to bear.

“I know I’ve hurt you,” he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I can’t lose you. I can’t lose our child. Please, let me explain. Just… please give me a chance.”

His words tore at my heart, but I couldn’t bring myself to respond. The questions in my mind were too many, and the answers too elusive. What was I supposed to say to him? How was I supposed to forgive him when everything in me screamed to protect myself from the pain he had caused?

But as I looked at him, really looked at him, I could see the sincerity in his eyes. I could see the desperation. But did that change anything? Did that erase the hurt he had caused me? Would he have acknowledged the hurt if this child truly wasn't his?

And yet, as I stared at the bouquet of white roses, I wondered if maybe, just maybe, I could find a way to let him in again. For the baby. For us.

But right now, I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t be.

“I can’t,” I whispered, my voice barely audible.

Daphne please.” He begged, kneeling.

" Jayden you're the most selfish person I've ever met asides from my dad, stepmom and stepsister.” I said in frustration.

" My baby is laying in there battling for her life and you.., you stay here to beg for us rather than let me focus on praying for my baby's…”

" Our baby.” Jayden interrupted me.

" You said that child wasn't yours, you called your own child a bastard.”

Jayden's face fell, his shoulders shaking with quiet sobs, and my heart twisted in my chest. But I didn’t know how to fix what was broken between us.

Not yet. Sobbing,I pulled myself with my wheelchair back to my hospital room.