CHAPTER 51 - "idon’twannabeyouanymore"
The moment Jayden left the room, his words still ringing cold in my ears, I sat on the floor, wiping my tears and trying to catch my breath. He didn’t care about the child, our child, and no amount of fake tenderness in front of his family could mask the disdain he felt when we were alone.
I picked myself up, dragging my weary body to my room. The silence in the mansion was suffocating, so I reached for my phone, scrolling through my playlist until Billie Eilish’s soft, haunting voice began to fill the room. "idon’twannabeyouanymore" played as I stepped into the bathroom, and I turned on the shower, letting the warm water cascade over me.
The tears came almost immediately, mingling with the stream of water as I slid to the tiled floor of the bathtub. My sobs were quiet, but the ache in my chest was deafening. I sang along softly to the lyrics, the words hitting too close to home. The pain of it all—the betrayal, the lies, the weight of this charade—was unbearable.
Wrapping my arms around my knees, I let the music and water wash over me, wishing I could drown out the ache in my soul. My voice cracked as I sang the chorus, my hands instinctively moving to my belly. The life growing within me was the only thing grounding me in this storm.
Eventually, the warmth of the shower began to fade, and a shiver ran through me. I turned the water off and stepped out, grabbing a towel to wrap around my body. As I dried myself, Billie Eilish’s "ilomilo" began to play, its eerie melody filling the room.
I hummed along as I rubbed lotion onto my skin, my hands pausing when they reached my bump. “It’s just you and me, little one,” I whispered, offering a faint smile. “And don’t worry, you’ll never feel this kind of pain. I’ll make sure of it.”
As I was massaging my legs, the door burst open. I flinched, clutching the towel tighter around myself. Jayden stood there, his expression as cold as ever.
“Get dressed,” he said curtly, his gaze avoiding mine. “My grandfather will be here shortly. I expect you to look presentable.”
“Good morning to you too,” I said sarcastically, glaring at him as I reached for my robe. “And here I was thinking you’d at least knock.”
He ignored the comment, his eyes narrowing as he gestured toward the speaker where Billie Eilish’s mournful voice still played. “Turn that down,” he said sharply. “It’s giving me a headache.”
I raised an eyebrow, smirking as I tightened the robe around me. “Then maybe you should leave. Or stay and keep moping over me. Your choice.”
He scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re impossible.”
“And yet, here I am,” I said, feigning a bright smile. “The ‘impossible’ woman carrying your ‘impossible’ child. Aren’t you lucky?”
Jayden’s jaw tightened, his hands curling into fists at his sides. “A maid will bring you a dress,” he snapped. “You’ll need to act the part when my grandfather arrives. Do try to look... less like this.”
I crossed my arms, leaning against the dresser with a mock grin. “Don’t worry, Jayden. I’ll play the role of your loving wife perfectly. After all, isn’t that what I’m here for?”
He turned on his heel without another word, slamming the door behind him. I sighed, the fake grin dropping from my face as soon as he was gone.
I wore a loose, baggy t-shirt, reducing the volume of the music and layed on my bed, my mind racing.
I swear, I didn't know when sleep swept over me. It wasn’t long before a knock on the door woke me from the nap I’d unintentionally slipped into. I rubbed my eyes, sitting up to see the maid holding a delicate maternity gown in shades of soft lavender.
“You’ll look beautiful in this, ma’am,” she said kindly, setting it down on the bed.
“Thanks,” I murmured, running my fingers over the fabric. The dress was lovely, almost enough to make me forget the farce I was about to participate in.
After a quick touch-up in front of the mirror, I slipped into the gown and smoothed it over my bump. The fabric hugged my figure comfortably, and for a moment, I felt like myself again.
Another knock came, this time louder and more insistent. I opened the door to find Jayden standing there, his expression unreadable.
“He’s here,” he said simply.
I nodded, following him downstairs where the staff had already prepared a lavish tea setup in the drawing room. As we entered, Mr. Horton’s face lit up at the sight of me.
“Daphne, my dear!” he exclaimed, standing to greet me. His embrace was warm, his hands resting briefly on my shoulders as he looked me over. “You look radiant! Pregnancy suits you.”
“Thank you, Mr. Horton,” I said, forcing a smile. “It’s good to see you again.”
“And it’s good to see you! But please, call me Grandpa. We’re family now.”
Family. The word felt like a cruel joke, but I nodded politely. “Of course... Grandpa.”
He beamed, gesturing for me to sit beside him. Jayden took the seat on my other side, his hand resting on my lower back in a show of affection that made my skin crawl.
“I brought gifts for the baby,” Mr. Horton said, his excitement palpable as he gestured to the wrapped boxes near the fireplace. “And I must say, I’m thrilled to learn we’re already eight months along! You two certainly kept this a wonderful surprise.”
Jayden chuckled softly, squeezing my side. “We wanted it to be special,” he lied smoothly. “Something just for us before sharing it with the family.”
I plastered on another fake smile, nodding in agreement. “We thought it would be more meaningful this way,” I said, my tone syrupy sweet.
Mr. Horton laughed, his joy filling the room. “Well, you’ve certainly succeeded. I can’t wait to meet my great-grandchild!”
The rest of the visit passed in a blur of pleasantries, with Mr. Horton asking endless questions about the baby and showering me with compliments. It was exhausting, but I played my part, smiling and laughing as if everything were perfect.
When Mr. Horton finally left, he hugged me again, his excitement undiminished. “Take care of yourself, my dear,” he said. “And Jayden, you take good care of her too. She’s carrying something precious.”
As soon as the door closed behind him, Jayden’s hand dropped from my back, and his expression hardened.
“Well done,” he said flatly. “You almost made me believe it myself.”
I turned to him, crossing my arms. “Why, thank you,” I said with a mock curtsy. “I do aim to please.”
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t get too comfortable. The child still isn’t mine, and no amount of pretending will change that.”
I took a step closer, my voice low but firm. “You can deny it all you want, Jayden. But your mother’s DNA test will tell the truth soon enough. And when it does...” I let the sentence hang, turning on my heel and walking away before he could respond.
What's there to lose anyways? I'm just exhausted.
In that moment, I felt a flicker of strength, a small victory in this endless battle. Whatever happened next, I wouldn’t let Jayden,or anyone else,take that away from me.