Chapter 67 67
Katherine's POV
"Look, here he is. He's a little earthquake. Sometimes Kate wakes up in the middle of the night because he won't stop. Right, love?"
I nodded, covering Andrew's hand with mine. Elliot's touch withdrew slowly, but I could still feel the lingering heat on my skin. I stared at my plate, trying to breathe normally.
Emma leaned forward a little, interested.
"You look so beautiful pregnant. You have that glow. Why did you wait so long to have a child?"
The question landed on me like a weight. Suddenly feeling old in my mid-thirties, belly huge, the dark circles I tried to hide. Andrew answered for me, in that soft voice he used when talking about it.
"It's our second child. We lost the first one a couple of years ago. It was hard, but we've been able to move forward, and we're really excited."
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair, the memory rising as always—that silent pain that would hurt forever. Emma's eyes widened, apologetic.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
"It's okay," Andrew said, squeezing my hand. "We're good now."
He changed the subject quickly, pouring more wine. Emma asked again how long we'd been in Lisbon, and how we knew Elliot. Andrew laughed, looking at Elliot with affection.
"Kate was his private tutor."
Emma's eyes went wide, laughing.
"Really? That must've been cute—seeing a little Elliot in school, sitting at his desk."
Everyone laughed a bit. Andrew the most, shaking his head. Emma too, and Elliot forced a smile. I didn't. I couldn't. I sat still, fork in hand, stomach closed tight.
"Not that little," Andrew clarified, still chuckling. "Less than a year ago. Elliot was already grown. Kate helped him a lot with his exams."
Emma looked at Elliot, teasing.
"Wow, a model student. Were you one of the good ones?"
Elliot nodded, holding my gaze for a second too long.
"Yeah. Mrs. Ellis was strict, but fair."
"But you told me you didn't know them that well, right?" Emma said, glancing at him sideways.
I kept eating—or trying to. No appetite.
"I was only his tutor for a while—not that long," I said, defending Elliot, already imagining what he'd told his girlfriend—framing his time in my life as... a distant teacher-student thing.
"But they were close. Kate was going through a rough patch back then—Elliot's company helped her a lot," Andrew said, looking at Elliot with gratitude.
"So were they close or not?" Emma asked again.
"No," Elliot said.
"Yes," Andrew said at the same time.
The clash of their voices pierced my chest. It wasn't surprise. It was worse. That familiar feeling of being caught between a version of myself that no longer belonged to me and one no one really knew.
I took a deep breath. Not to calm down. To speak without my voice shaking.
I did what I'd always done when reality threatened to spiral: placed myself in the safe spot—prudent, polite, acceptable to everyone. The spot that hurt no one... except me.
"I think I was the only one who felt close," I said finally, with a fragile smile I didn't even try to make look natural. "At the time, I'd been isolated from the world for so long." I noticed Andrew tilting his head slightly, listening, no suspicion. Emma leaned her elbows on the table. "And when Elliot showed up at my door out of nowhere..." I went on, "I thought turning him down was the way to stay in my bubble." I heard myself speak and hated how easy it was to use clean words for something that hadn't been clean. "But after accepting the job... I started deciding to get out. Do things. Have a schedule again. People. Noise." I swallowed. "It was the breath of fresh air I needed. A distraction that, in a way, gave me back enough confidence to keep going... and resist." The word stuck hard on my tongue. "The pain. The loss. That grief I'd carried so deep inside I didn't know how to get it out." The silence that followed was too careful. "I felt that closeness," I finished, voice a little lower.
Emma frowned, thoughtful.
"Maternal, right? I mean... she might've seen him like a son. That's why she helped with her pain."
"Yes," I said. Too fast. "That's what it was." My eyes burned. "Though Elliot didn't know how much he was helping me," I added. "He had no idea what I was going through. It was a struggle I carried quietly." "A... maternal bond, I guess. It must've been."
Emma smiled, relieved.
"Do you think you could've been his mother?"
I was silent for a second. Just one. Long enough to be noticed. Then I looked up at Elliot.
He didn't look at me.
Not even once.
His eyes were fixed on the tablecloth, the edge of his plate—anything but my face.
"Yes," I answered finally. "I think I'm old enough to be his mother."
It was true. And at the same time, the cruelest way to sum it all up.
"I get it..." Emma said. "It was like a mother-son bond."
"Exactly." I nodded slowly. "We didn't have much in common, after all." The words settled in my mouth as naturally as the others. "Young people's lives are so different from ours." I felt Andrew squeeze my fingers on the table, unconsciously, like the comment included him too. "He was good company during those class hours." I breathed through my mouth. "Then... everyone went back to their own reality. Maybe that's why he told you we weren't close," I went on, voice lower. "We were only close during those hours." My eyes filled without permission. "Outside... Elliot had a world at his own pace, his tastes, his surroundings." It was hard to finish. "And I... was already too far from that." I took a deep breath. "Way too far."
"You're very kind, Mrs. Ellis," Elliot said. He lifted his hand and took Emma's. "She was a maternal figure during those class hours," he said, voice calm, polite, almost flawless. "She helped me a lot."
He didn't look at me once.
"I'm the one who should thank you... for making me see things as they are. For filling that maternal void I had before you showed up at my door. You helped so much."
"Elliot's a good kid," Emma said, leaning in to kiss him on the mouth.
"Thanks, Elliot," Andrew said. "But I do think it's a shame you didn't feel close to Kate. Guess that's just how young people are. But it doesn't matter—Kate cared about you, and you helped a lot. That's what matters."
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Author’s note:
Thank you so much for your comments — they always encourage me. I honestly thought no one was reading this novel. Thank you very much.