Chapter 68 Nothing more
The guards dragged Noah down the corridor and threw him into the same cell where Nora lay broken on the floor. He landed hard, his own injuries flaring with pain, but he immediately scrambled toward her despite the agony in his ribs.
“Nora,” he gasped, crawling to where she lay in a pool of her own blood. “Nora, can you hear me?”
She didn’t respond. Her eyes were half-closed, her breathing shallow and labored. The white ceremonial robes were no longer white, completely saturated with blood that had dried to a dark rusty brown in places and was still fresh and red in others.
Noah’s hands hovered over her, wanting to help but not knowing where to touch without causing more pain. Her left arm was clearly broken, bent at an impossible angle. Her face was so swollen he could barely recognize her. Dark bruises covered every visible inch of her skin.
“I’m here,” Noah said, his voice breaking. “I’m here with you. You’re not alone.”
He looked around the cell desperately, searching for anything that could help. But there was nothing. No water, no bandages, no medical supplies of any kind.
No medical care was provided to either of them. That was part of the punishment, Noah realized. They were meant to suffer without relief, to feel every moment of pain as a lesson.
Moving as gently as he could, Noah managed to position himself so he could lift Nora’s head onto his lap. She made a small sound of pain at the movement, but didn’t open her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Noah whispered, tears streaming down his bruised face. “I’m so sorry. I should have protected you. I should have done something.”
His ribs screamed with every breath, at least two of them broken. His face was a mass of bruises and cuts. His left eye was swollen nearly shut. But his injuries paled in comparison to what they had done to Nora.
Noah tried his best to help her. He used the edge of his torn shirt to wipe some of the blood from her face, trying to be as gentle as possible. He checked her injuries, wincing at each new fracture he discovered. Her ribs, her arm, possibly her leg. The damage was extensive.
“You need water,” Noah said, though he knew there was none available. “You need medical attention. You need—”
He stopped, realizing how futile his words were. They were prisoners at their lowest point. No one was coming to help them. No one cared if they lived or died, at least not until Ben decided it was time for the next initiation.
Hours passed. The dim light from the high window shifted, suggesting day was turning to evening, though time had lost all meaning in the cell. Noah held Nora, periodically checking to make sure she was still breathing, terrified each time that she might have slipped away while he wasn’t paying attention.
Finally, as darkness began to fall, Nora’s eyes opened. Just slightly, just enough to show she was conscious.
“Noah,” she whispered, her voice so quiet he had to lean close to hear it.
“I’m here,” he said immediately. “I’m right here.”
She was quiet for a long moment, just breathing, each breath clearly causing her pain. When she spoke again, her words were barely audible.
“I honestly wish I had died in that car crash instead of my children.”
The words hit Noah like a physical blow. He looked down at her broken face, saw the absolute despair in her barely-open eyes, and felt something inside his chest shatter.
“Don’t say that,” he whispered.
“It’s true,” Nora continued, her voice flat and empty despite the pain. “They would still be alive. They would have had a chance. Instead, I’m here, broken and useless, and they’re dead because of me. Because I was born into this family. Because I existed.”
“That’s not your fault,” Noah said desperately.
“Isn’t it?” Nora’s voice cracked. “Everything that’s happened, all of this suffering, it’s because of who I am. Because of what I was born to be. My children paid the price for my bloodline. And now you’re paying it too.”
Noah felt tears sliding down his face, dropping onto Nora’s bloodied robes. “You didn’t choose any of this.”
“No,” Nora agreed. “But I’m still responsible. My children are still dead. You’re still broken. And it’s all because of me.”
She closed her eyes again, a single tear escaping to track through the blood on her face. “I wish I had died instead. They deserved to live. They deserved a chance.”
Noah sat there holding her, his own pain forgotten in the face of her devastating grief. He had no words of comfort, no reassurances that would make this better.
For a long time, he just held her in silence, both of them lost in their own private hells. Then, finally, Noah spoke, his voice rough with emotion and pain.
“I wish I’d never met you.”
Nora’s eyes opened slightly, a flicker of hurt visible even through her swollen features.
Noah quickly continued, his words tumbling out between sobs. “Not because I don’t love you. God, Nora, I love you so much it’s killing me. But loving you has caused you so much pain and suffering. If I had never come into your life, if we had never escaped together, maybe things would have been different.”
He looked down at her broken body, his tears falling faster now. “Maybe if I hadn’t fallen in love with you, Ben wouldn’t have used me against you. Maybe you wouldn’t have been hurt so badly. Maybe you would have found a way to survive this without me making everything worse.”
“That’s not true,” Nora whispered weakly.
“Isn’t it?” Noah echoed her earlier question. “I’ve brought you nothing but pain. My love, my presence in your life, it’s only made things worse. They used me to manipulate you, to break you. And now you’re lying here broken because of plans I was part of, betrayals I participated in.”
He gently brushed a strand of bloody hair from her forehead. “I wish I’d never met you because then you wouldn’t have this additional suffering. You wouldn’t have someone else to mourn when they make you kill me next week. You wouldn’t have my betrayal added to the list of people who’ve hurt you.”
“Noah,” Nora breathed.
“I love you,” Noah said, his voice breaking completely. “And that love has destroyed you as much as everything else. Maybe more. Because you trusted me, believed in me, and I let you down in every way that mattered.”
They fell silent again, two broken people holding each other in the darkness, both wishing they had made different choices, both knowing it was far too late for wishes to matter.
Sometimes it just gives you one more thing to lose.