Chapter 45: The Fear of Falling

Lily woke up before the sun.

Before the weight of what she had done could crush her.

The house was quiet. Still.

But inside her?

A storm was raging.

Her pulse hammered as she sat up, barely breathing as she glanced toward the living room.

And there he was.

Adrian Blackwood.

Asleep on her couch.

His chest rose and fell in even, steady breaths, his face relaxed in a way she rarely ever saw.

Like he wasn’t the man who had once destroyed her.

Like he wasn’t the man who had kissed her last night.

Lily pressed her fingers to her lips.

Because she could still feel him.

The warmth of his mouth.

The way he had held her like she was something fragile.

Like he was afraid she’d disappear if he let go.

She squeezed her eyes shut, panic rising in her throat.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

She had been so careful.

So damn careful.

And now?

Now, she had let him in.

And she was terrified.

Running Before It’s Too Late

Lily moved before she could talk herself out of it.

Before she could let herself remember.

Before she could second-guess.

She grabbed a sweater, pulling it over her head as she slipped into the kitchen.

She needed air.

She needed space.

But as she reached for the doorknob—

A deep, gravelly voice stopped her.

“Running again?”

Lily froze.

Her breath hitched.

She didn’t turn. Didn’t move.

But she felt him.

Awake. Watching her.

Waiting.

A lump formed in her throat.

She swallowed it down. “I’m not running.”

Adrian scoffed. “Liar.”

Lily clenched her jaw.

Because, damn him—

He was right.

She was running.

Just like she always did.

But this time?

This time, she wasn’t sure if she could outrun him.

The Aftermath of a Kiss

Adrian didn’t move.

He just watched her.

Studied her.

Like he could see every thought racing through her head.

And maybe he could.

Maybe he had always been able to.

Lily swallowed hard. “Last night—”

Adrian’s lips curved. Slow. Dangerous.

“You’re about to tell me it was a mistake, aren’t you?”

Lily’s stomach twisted.

Because yes.

That was exactly what she was going to say.

Because if it was a mistake—

She could pretend it didn’t mean anything.

She could pretend she wasn’t falling all over again.

But the way Adrian was looking at her?

Like he already knew she was lying?

It made her want to scream.

“I—” she started, voice breaking.

But Adrian took a step forward.

Just one step.

But it was enough.

Enough to make her pulse skitter.

Enough to make breathing difficult.

He tilted his head, his voice dropping. Low. Rough.

“Tell me the truth, Lily.”

Lily’s fingers curled into fists.

She couldn’t.

She couldn’t tell him the truth.

Because the truth was dangerous.

The truth was messy.

The truth was—

She still wanted him.

Despite everything.

Despite the pain.

Despite the past.

And that?

That was something she could never admit.

So she did the only thing she knew how to do.

She walked away.

Ava’s Innocence

Lily spent the morning avoiding him.

She busied herself with anything and everything.

Dishes. Laundry.

Literally anything that kept her from looking at him.

But Ava?

Ava wasn’t making it easy.

“Mr. Adrian, can we go to the park today?” she asked, her bright brown eyes hopeful.

Lily stiffened.

Adrian glanced at her.

Lily didn’t look at him.

But she could feel him waiting.

Like he was giving her a chance to say no.

A chance to shut him out again.

But when she looked at Ava—

When she saw the pure, innocent happiness in her daughter’s face—

She couldn’t do it.

She couldn’t take this away from her.

So she forced a breath.

And nodded.

Ava cheered.

And Adrian?

Adrian just smiled.

Like he knew this was another battle he had just won.

And Lily?

She was starting to realize—

She was losing this war.

A Moment Too Intimate

The park was quiet.

The late afternoon sun cast a warm glow over the trees, the air crisp with the scent of autumn.

Ava ran ahead, her giggles filling the open space as she chased after butterflies.

And Lily?

She sat on a bench.

Adrian beside her.

Too close.

Too familiar.

Neither of them spoke.

But the air between them?

Charged.

Lily kept her eyes on Ava, but she wasn’t fooling herself.

She was hyperaware of him.

The way his arm was resting on the back of the bench.

The way he was watching her.

Like he was waiting for her to acknowledge this.

Acknowledge him.

She didn’t.

She couldn’t.

But then—

“Do you regret it?”

Lily’s breath caught.

She turned her head, finally meeting his gaze.

And what she saw knocked the air from her lungs.

Adrian wasn’t teasing.

He wasn’t smug.

He was just… waiting.

Waiting for the truth.

Lily swallowed hard.

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

And it was the closest thing to honesty she had given him.

Adrian’s jaw flexed.

He looked away for a moment, exhaling slowly.

Then—his fingers brushed against hers.

Barely.

But it was enough.

Enough to make her whole body go still.

Enough to make her heart pound.

He didn’t move his hand.

Didn’t push.

Just let it rest there.

Like he was waiting for her to pull away.

But she didn’t.

Because she didn’t want to.

And maybe, just maybe—

That was the most terrifying part of all.